Need to talk to someone-really upset

Hi everyone. You probably don't know me because I don't post often but I'm duckncover aka Jacob. I'm 20 years old and it is my dream to have ducks, geese, and chickens and live in the country. However I am disabled and it is extremely difficult for me to work. I live with my mom right now. I'm not happy here and she is constantly fighting with my brother. I have a mood disorder and it's very easy for me to become depressed. I want to obtain my dream so bad. I have been a member of this forum since I was a kid. I've had 2 accounts. I'm so sick of getting chicks and ducklings and having to get rid of them before they are adults. I have a special bond with waterfowl. I refer to them as "pond parrots" because they are so intelligent and beautiful just like my parrots are. Except with ducks and geese you can pet them and they don't bite as hard.

I just want a small flock of a birds. I don't need a huge yard, just big enough for a big coop and a swimming pool. No close neighbors would help my situation drastically. My dream flock would be a drake and a few ducks, a few chickens(maybe a rooster but depends on my neighbors), 1 female goose that will be a pet, and maybe a pair of grey call ducks.

The main problem I have is money and not being able to find an appropriate place to me and the flock. I get a little more than $650 a month from SSI. I think my ideal situation would be to just move in with someone that already has a flock of birds and pay rent. It has to be in PA though because that's the only place I can get SSI at. Do you think that would be an impossible task? I mean I'm sure there's one person in PA that could use some help with their farm. If I can find that person then my life would be so much happier.

I wonder if anyone else on here had to struggle for a long time to get their birds? Well let's start a conversation about this. I'm not going anywhere for a couple days and like I said I'm really upset and could use someone to talk to. Thank you everyone!

 

The mood disorder doesn't affect my life unless I let it. I can be really depressed and sleep a lot or I can be really unmotivated. But it's mostly situational. If I was even a little bit happy with my situation then I won't be so depressed. My mom is selling our house in the spring and I'm going to have to move anyways.

I have someone in mind that I could ask if I can live with for part of my check and help around the farm. She has a lot of chickens and ducks already and wouldn't mind a few more but I don't know how she would feel about me living with her. She's a really nice lady and she sold me my frizzle hen in the early fall. We've been talking ever since and I think I'm going to ask her after new years if she would mind if I came up for a couple days to see her birds, since I always see them online but never in person. That way I can talk to her. She lives kind of far from me like an hour away but she has the coolest farm and all of her birds are pets which is awesome for me.