Neighbor threatening to "take out my roosters"

[Eowyn2]

I'm like you, I don't like conflict with people like that. It's really hard to deal with someone who appears to be very unreasonable - how do you reason with the unreasonable, eh?

When I first saw the title of the thread, I thought, "Oh jeez, don't tell me you can't understand how someone finds roosters incredibly annoying." - but then I saw that you had 20 acres, and the coop is a ways from his house. Yeah, I think he's being unreasonable, I agree.

Those of us who tremble at the thought of conflict often don't have very good boundaries or don't know how to enforce them well. I would suggest that if this is a particular problem for you, find a book on boundaries and read it over. It will help you a lot, and not just with this person. Bullies are good at sniffing out people they can push around, and being able to set firm boundaries puts them back in their place.

I read a thread a while ago where someone else had a nasty neighbor; the person finally just confronted the neighbor calmly and asked why she was being so unpleasant and rude when they had never had any trouble before and hadn't done anything to her. She persisted and didn't let the person ignore her, and turns out the neighbor was jealous of some of the improvements they had made to their property and that was her way of dealing with it. So you never know what makes someone act like this - because we all know it's wrong. Even that person, I bet. But he feels justified for some strange reason. Maybe he's jealous that at 25 he was slaving away his life for The Man and you have the freedom to do something you love and make a living at it? When you feel strong enough, it would be a good thing to just plain ask him why he's being so unpleasant.

I'm also going to buck the trend and say that you're perfectly justified in giving this man eggs or produce if you want to. Kindness is hard to stay mad at. Just examine your motivation for it - try not to think of it as a bribe or a peacemaking tool, because you don't owe him anything. If you can find it in your heart to find something worth liking about him and want to share your bounty with him because of that, you can better ignore the nasty and it won't sting as bad when he does something ungracious when you graciously give him the fruit of your hard work. Maybe his immaculate yard is genuinely beautiful. Compliment him on that, if you really like it. You might even ask him for some gardening tips on a problem you have. People like to feel needed.

I heard a mental health provider recently say she likes to play a little dumb when someone attacks her, and assumes they just don't know enough about the situation so she's happy to provide the information needed to make them realize they have nothing to be mad about. I don't know how to apply that to your situation, but it's worth thinking about. Because clearly this guy doesn't understand the lovely place you have.

And finally, setting good boundaries includes standing up for yourself when necessary. Completely and utterly agree with those saying you should report his threat and research your rights, and not be afraid to enforce them gently and firmly. You can be kind and giving while you also draw a line and say, "no further". It's tough, but you can do it. If you can farm 20 acres, you can set good boundaries.

 

[Kathryn4629]

Hey guys. So sorry that I haven't been able to update or respond in the last couple of days, its a very busy time of year around here. I feel like I barely have time to sleep and not enough daylight in the day to get everything done.

So here is the current deal. He came to the fence line (not on my property) to have a little chat again. He started off by asking how I was planning to improve my field

suggesting that I mow down my long grass. Seriously??? I have my field cross fenced quite a few times so that I can rotationally graze. Just because he keeps his field mowed down to exactly 4 inches, doesn't mean I have to. I told him that it really didn't seem to be any of his business what I do. I also mentioned that this is a rural area that is intended for farming and so on. This for some reason made him VERY mad. He said quite a few obscenities. I did not cuss at all!! Go me! But on the up side I think that I have a better feel for him now. I think that he a big bully (obviously) and is used to people doing what he tells them to do.

I do have a fence that runs that perimeter so no worrying about property line disputes. I do have firearms. I was living in an area that meant that I had grizzly bear and wolves (yes wolves they are everywhere in Idaho these days) among many other animals on the property that I rented. I also hunt, deer, elk, black bear, and wolves (legal don't worry) so I know how to use my firearms. I have also installed my 2 game cameras. And am in the process of getting my hot wire going around the garden, which is also the property line with him. I will not be giving him any eggs or produce.

I did mention what is going on to my other neighbor who said he would keep a lookout for me also. They are retired and home all the time.

All I have to say is, having a neighbor who doesn't like you sucks!! I will do some responding to everyones wonderful and very insightful posts this evening.

 

[jtyrrell08]

I agree with everyone, don't offer free eggs. My older neighbor luckily enjoys listening to the roosters and has told me. Stand your ground, it's your property and you can do with it what you want. I know it's hard, but stay strong!!

 

[Kathryn4629]

Make sure you've got a copy of your survey on-hand so the next time he grumps about your garden location (or nabs veggies he thinks are on his property) you can point out where the property line is relative to the fence/drive/road whatever. Maybe also keep a copy of your local codes handy, tabbed/highlighted/referenced per your particular situation, in case it comes up in "conversation".

I'd call the cops and file a report about his threat to your pets (the roosters). Just to have it on file, in case something horrid happens. Mount a game camera just in case, and secure your chickens at night. Otherwise, ignore him.

Thanks for the advice! I am going to look up the codes again and print them out. Maybe I should laminate them and zip tie the sheets to the fence.

 

[pips&peeps]

If you are designated a rural area(Spokane County), the following apply:


Quote:


So according to my calculations you can have 435.6 chickens on your property. To my knowledge there are no restrictions on roosters. You really should report him to the authorities for threatening to kill your birds. At minimum it will be on file and the sheriff may have a word with him.

Also if he feels the need to continue to harass you, you may let him know that State Law allows for you to kill his cats should they "worry" your birds.

 

[micheller1210]

I really feel for you, I hope you get help on building a fence I would carry a shot gun and tell him, not to kindly that he is trespassing, and you might just start raising peafowls.....lol Get that gaming camera set up right away.

 

[Cluky]

I would suggest waving and smiling at him. That would piss him off the most because it would show him he did not get to you. Besides, COUNTRY is there for keeping animals. He can live in subburbs if he wants cookie cutter houses and lawns. Deffinitely don't waste eggs on that man.

 

[Renegade Rescue]

I have thought of this since my last post and the best advice I can come up with is don’t let him make or see you cry, when he is outside staring at you he wants you to see him don’t wave don’t look just do what you are planning to do. Once he thinks you are not intimidated or interested in what he has to say he will seek his attention from you by being nice, most likely he is lonely in a strange place and thinks being a donkeys backside will get him attention so do not re-enforce the bad behavior only re-enforce the good behavior.

 

[Kathryn4629]

Wow guys thanks for ALL the support! Sometimes I dont know what I would do without all the wonderful BYC peeps.

Well I called the local sheriff department and talked to the nicest man. I told him what had happened so far and that I wasn't ready to file a report that would get him talked to by a deputy...yet. He was very nice and took down my info and told me to keep a record of any interaction (like you guys all told me to) and to let them know if it escalates.

Today I mowed grass and he was out in his yard.... He stared and glared. All I did was wave and smile. Go me. I wear head phones a lot when outside, so even if he had said anything I wouldn't have heard it.

I will be putting hot-wire around my garden anyway to keep deer and chickens out. So he would get a shock if he tried anything. I also have a game cam that I am going to set up, so if he sets foot on my property I will know.

And yes I am young and have worked my tail off to get where I am. I shouldn't have to explain that I worked 2 jobs 18 hours a day for years to save money and be able to do what I do. I am driven, I should not have to explain it.

Oh and I also have a roommate (female) that lives here with me. I for sure feel safer with having someone else in the house.

 

[Kathryn4629]

I wouldn't make assumptions like that. His attitude is quite typical of many city folks who move to the country, then try to change the country into where they came from. I've seen it here in the mountains over and over again.

Some are just extra nasty about it. She's handling it pretty well, I think.

Yes he seems to be a very typical city person wanting the "country" to what they imagined it would be. Not the actual reality of farm animals and non fertilized yards.

We had a "new" neighbor when I was younger that moved out here from Connecticut that would call the police when every time our cows got out. We lived in the middle of NOWHERE and the county dirt road was designated "open range." There is always cows out. Finally the police told the guy if he called again that they would arrest HIM!