My beloved Checkers did not survive. Respiratory distress turned into cardiac arrest. Surgeon never even got to approach the testes. However he later viewed them saying they were twice the size of incision + he would have had diff. It was an open between ribs incision through air sac, not laparoscopic. This large VCA hospital had 2 certified anesthesia tech's but could not save my boy. I cannot tell you the self loathing and guilt I have. I will never be the same; a piece of my heart is dead. Could I have prepped more for this? In retrospect, more talk re: the anesthesia aspect. There was much prep for replacing blood if needed as that is often the cause of demise. When I wake up every day he is the first thought in my head. My faith in my decision making is all gone + I will never trust myself again. May the good Lord bless and keep you my sweet Checkers boy. I love you.
