Notes from Chicken Rebuttal Society (Updated with new pics post #22)

[cbrown86]

This story makes me

.

 

[Ravishaw]

6/4/2011
Well it’s been an amazing couple of weeks, out here on Beehive Road on the edge of Phoenix. Several months have come and gone! Where has the time flown? I spoke with Agnes today and she announced she’s taking a leave of absence from her writing duties while she adjusts to the new rooster in town. WELL I NEVER GAVE HER A CLAW OF APPROVAL! I reprimanded Agnes and ordered her to do 20 laps around the yard before she could roost tonight. Leave of absence? With Rhonda the Rhode Island Red on the job? I think not!

I know all the hens on our worldwide flock have been dying to see our new rooster. As Agnes eluded in her last little memo, he’s rather attractive in a monochromatic sort of way. Except his waddles and his comb they’re just gigantic! Makes me want to put some refried beans and carne asada in them and roll ‘em up like tortillas. Have myself a little Pavoratti burrito, know what I’m sayin?

I learned what little hussies all my feathered sisters were when the human let him out of the brooder. They practically lined up for “service.” Now nearly every hen is as indifferent towards him as they were to our last rooster. Once he starts his little “horny jig” we just walk away and pretend to find some delicious morsel stubbornly attached to a primary wing feather; and it takes us three to four minutes to detach it. But not every hen deals with him the same way.
For example, there was still air out this morning so Danish the anti-social wynadotte is broody again. She avoids roosters so well that one of the Easter Eggers has started hiding in the nest box all day too. Thing is she needs it because she’s the survivor of a dog mauling and hasn’t recovered her tail yet… No knowing what that rooster would do if he saw her naked rump walking around the yard all the time.

This rooster is not all bad though. Compared to the last rooster he’s a lightweight. The one or two times he’s managed to talk me into “serving” I haven’t gotten up spitting grass and rocks. Last rooster, when he’d finish it was like climbing out of a bomb crater. But this isn’t a column for playchicken, so I won’t go further.

He has a shorter crow, and tries harder to drop hints and pickup lines when he wants company.

On a serious note, there has been several more dog attacks, with no survivors. The first victim was another easter egger, a pullet this time. The human found her just after the attack out back by the citrus trees. She was a little crazy, I think all her eggs would have been scrambled anyways. Then just a week ago the dog got in again.
The big news right now are the pullets. They’ve grown and grown and are now a little bigger than some of the barred rock hens running around the yard. The pullets still get their chili cooled when they get to close to me or another boss hen, but they do alright for themselves. I think one of the Buff Orpington pullets is going to give Suzie a run for her money. She’s a little clown!

I’d best be signing off now, I hear more watermelon being put on the back porch.


That’s all for this week from Beehive Rd, out here on the edge of Phoenix; where all the chickens are healthy, the grass is a foot high, and all the pullets are fully feathered.

 

[awesomefowl]

Great posts!!! Keep it up!!!

 

[gryeyes]

SO glad to have another missive from the CRS to enjoy!

Sorry to hear about the dog attacks, though.

 

[specklesmom]

What fun to read about the CRS!! Keep up the reports, please!

 

[Ravishaw]

This bulletin is being brought to you from Suzie...

Lamentably, several weeks back, dear, sweet Agnes passed on to chicken Heaven along with six of her flock.

It's been hot here, on Beehive Road.

But I had to pick up this quill and pen a note to our dear colleagues that have awaited news for so long.

Agnes, Rhonda, and some others of our favorites have passed on. Yet new life is emerging. Some neighbors have arrived in the brooder and are getting louder and louder all the time. I dare say it won't be long before they are let out and we'll have a whole new generation of hens to show the ropes.

I dare say the two Buff Orpingtons are making a move on the human. He came outside last night with the kids left over french fries and those two ample-bottomed bassoons sat on his legs and ate half of them themselves... cooing and snuggling down on him like he was a warm perch on a cold night. Just shameful!

 

[luvinmybirds]

I just found this! I love hearing about the CRS it is absolutely the best I have read.

 

[gryeyes]

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of some of the CRS members. I bet they're hunting the best bugs in that sunny meadow where beloved chickens go once they have passed on.

...and Orpingtons ARE hussies, at least they are in my flock...