We lost 3 doxies last year to cancer. I have them buried just outside my bedroom window. I still cry when I think of them. I said "no more dogs. I cannot go thru this again" Since then I have ended up with a poodle and 2 nonsense's. Two were dumped, and one was taken to the vet's office to be put to sleep because his owner had died and the girlfriend didn't want to care for the dog anymore. Of course I ended up with that one also. He is old and nobody else wanted him but we love him. The three we have argue over which one is going to sit in my lap when I am on the computer.
The grief does get a little easier with time. I feel so badly for you. Dorothy