People who are only there when the sun is shining...

[Fierlin1182]

I'm just ranting a bit.

There are a lot of people in my life who are those, "Just there when the sun is shining".
I try to be there from them, and then when I'm having my own issues, whoop! They fade away like they were never there in the first place.

As soon as something bad happens, I'm one of those people that my friends leave.
And then I have to move on and find new friends.
It works for a while, until something bad happens, and then we start all over again...

It must be whatever way I have with dealing with problems.

I have I think two people I can really call my friends. Lot to show for so many years on this earth.

 

[DuckyGurl]

You have me.

 

[Duramaxgirl]

I'm sorry. What about family? My family sticks with me through the good and the bad. Do you have close family?

 

[Fierlin1182]

I do have close family.
But they are all in the generation above me. They'll be gone long before me...
I'm an only child. My cousins live overseas. I've never been in a relationship.

DuckyGurl: Thank you.

 

[duck walk]

I get that...I have a lot of fair weather people in my life...I know not to have any expectations of them and just deal with whatever happens...no expectations=no disappointments...I have my family but most live far away...one son and his wife are near and dear...a wise person once told me that if in the fall of life, you can count good friends on one hand, you are fortunate...one must learn to be alone and comfortable in one's own hide...we come alone and we leave alone...all that we possess is just on loan...we have to give it all back...never seen a u haul behind a hearse...choose to enjoy those around you in the moment...and realize that no one owes any of us anything...people do disappoint and maybe that is why we have chickens and things...we let them be chickens and things and don't expect them to be other than what they are...we should deal with people sort of the same...everyone gets to be who they are...

 

[debilorrah]

to actually have two people you can call friends, you are rich. Rich indeed! Be thankful. Alot of people have none.

 

[kevinhannan]

Rays Two Cents:
I think your experience is a lot more common than you might think.

I have two "friends", and even they can be a bit flakey sometimes.

I have a number of instances through my life where now with age and
hindsight I can see that I have been too giving. Now I don't suffer the
fools gladly and I don't give at all unless there is a good reason to do so.
I have come to the conclusion that is indeed I. Some people can see
the generous nature in others and exploit it. Not any more with me.

Myself included, I know quite a few people who had dozens of 'friends'.
Something happens and they are not to be found. However, when the
proverbial hit the fan for them I had helped them out previously. They
forgot that pretty quick. Fleetwood Mac - the best band ever - sang
"players only love you when you're playing" and that sums it up.
Cat Stevens and Black Sabbath also sing a lot of life-stuff that's pretty cool.

Just to make you feel better: I gave £4500 to my brother to clear his debts fully,
when I needed £100 desparately some years later, he 'forgot'. I gave £300 to an ex-g/f
to help her out who then thought she could blackmail me for more. I took
in a friend who became homeless, no thanks there. I picked up a hitchhiker
who was at the very start of miles of road and at the end he told me he had
done me the favour of allowing me to help him out - I don't pick up any more.
I gave uneaten sandwiches from the exec's dining room that were going to the bin
to the homeless guys in the park and got slated for it. I have lent out equipment
for it to be broken upon return. I have borrowed stuff, gave it back in full working order
to be told I have broken it and it must be replaced with new. Many more besides...

There's a saying "no good deed goes unpunished" - it bears thinking about.

I trust in myself and my integrity - and my wife - no-one else.

Take a look at yourself and ask what do others see that shows that you might be
exploited? Then take the action that will make you happier, if not happy.

Rant away, it's good for the soul. ;-)

 

[Fierlin1182]

Thanks, guys.

 

[lockedhearts]

ray's two cents :

I'm just ranting a bit.

There are a lot of people in my life who are those, "Just there when the sun is shining".
I try to be there from them, and then when I'm having my own issues, whoop! They fade away like they were never there in the first place.

As soon as something bad happens, I'm one of those people that my friends leave.
And then I have to move on and find new friends.
It works for a while, until something bad happens, and then we start all over again...

It must be whatever way I have with dealing with problems.

I have I think two people I can really call my friends. Lot to show for so many years on this earth.

Trust me on this, been there done that. Recently too. These people are not really your friends........
I "fired" a person from my life, stood by them for a couple of years as a family memeber of theirs went through a horrible health issue
went to the funeral of that family member.

The day after the funeral, my own husband had a massive heart attack. This person only came to see us once, when he was still in ICU , never came by or really even called (texted a couple of times) even though we had foals being born that they knew meant a lot to us.

People like that are only "friends" when it is convienent for them.​

 

[terrilhb]