That was my favorite Star Trek joke when I was a kid!
I tried not to give them a lot of treats today, but I couldn't bring myself to throw away the left over oatmeal and not give it to them, so I did, and it was so cold (about 20 with a nasty wind chill that must have brought it down to the low teens) that they had to have corn as well.
I also feel, like McGoo, that it is only one of them, Patches that has the poop problem, the other 4 have nice clean fluffy butts, so it isn't really fair to deprive all four of them of treats, nor can I give treats to the other 4 and not Patches, so there I am stuck giving them treats. I think I have rationalized my behavior.
I think I am resigned to do the Capt. Kirk thing, but I will do it with gloves. I'll try the leather glove thing first, if that doesn't work I'll go for the rubber gloves with water and make sure to really dry her feathers. I didn't want to cut them off, because I was afraid they won't grow back and in this weather they need all the feathers they can get.
Sorry for this extra long post.
Kay