Postmortem regrets ...

[cate1124]

It's me again. Like Mrs K, I keep a flock. I usually keep them in their very large run until at least noon, sometimes about 2 pm, before letting them out to free range on our couple of acres, which are very secluded. But like you, I have this one hen, a free spirit (ironically named Blue, one of the few that are named) who jumps over the gate every morning and free ranges by herself all day. By snack time, about 4 pm, she is frantic to rejoin the flock. We don't have many predators so she's gotten away with it so far, but I do realize that she is at risk out there by herself. As many of the people posting have said, I think it's best to give her her freedom since she works so hard at it and enjoys it so much. (My Shelties do a good job of guarding the premises, so she's pretty safe.)

I get what you're saying; with any animal, more freedom (which they love) entails more risk but, like many here, I've struck the balance in favor of trying to give them a life they enjoy. My fenced yard is pretty large (it's essentially one town lot), but of course when the girls are on it all the time, it's largely packed dirt. So Anabel naturally liked to fly over the fence to fresher earth; the others would if they could. If the dog had not surprised her, she might have been able to fly back into the yard or otherwise escape.

I had acreage at one point, too, and let my small flock free-range quite often. A raptor of some sort got my golden Polish one dusk, but then dropped her; I was so lucky to find her in the pasture after dark. Though she had a deep quarter-sized hole in her neck, she recovered. That turned out to be more survivable than the internal injuries Anabel apparently suffered from being pounced on by a large dog.

Thanks again for sharing; it helps to "talk" with other flock-keepers. This part is just unavoidably painful.

 

[cate1124]

Please don't beat yourself up over what might have been what you could have done differently.

I'm a mother and a grandma. I did the best I could with my children, but they got hurt, sick, anyway. My daughter takes wonderful care of her children, but like me, I believe she's come to realize that we can't use bubble wrap on our children, nor our animals. We do what we can, and hope for the best.

Thank you; that is true, of course. I appreciate your gentle reminder. I kept thinking I would get a thicker skin in time, but with each loss, it seems to get thinner. I need to work a little on regaining perspective, as I still have 8 hens -- and an old cat, and an old mother. I'm needed to support them to the finish line.

 

[cate1124]

The way I see it, you let her do what made her happy. She knew what gave her pleasure, and you respected that, which is far more than most chickens get to experience. Chickens don’t have the longest lifespan, and the life she was blessed to lead, was full of love and easy living. You’re not in control here. You can think of what you’d do in every single scenario, but eventually, everything dies. The worry of loss cannot overshadow the joy of the moment, because what’s the point of it all if it does. Thinking you could have done more is a weight you shouldn’t expect yourself to carry. The Lord gives me tremendous peace in these moments, so I’ll pray He provides the same for you.

But for what it’s worth, I believe you did a beautiful thing by letting her make her own choices about happiness. If you try to prevent every bad thing, you sometimes have take away the good…when the bad may never come.

My chickens free range, and I know they’re happier out there taking their chances than when they’re fenced in. I know this by the fact that they try so hard to escape when I’ve closed them in for a time. They try to find a way out and squawk at me relentlessly. So no matter what happens when they’re out…I believe it’s the chance they’d like to take with their lives, and I do my best to respect that because I love them and have their happiness in mind.

Hugs friend

Thank you so much for this. I do try to observe what makes my girls happy and provide it as often as possible. Mine, too, obviously prefer as much freedom as they can get.

And you describe striking the balance in such a wise and accurate way -- diminishing good because you are anticipating harm that may never occur. (This brings to mind the most extreme wildfire mitigation strategies here in the West, in which all nearby vegetation -- and wildlife habitat, and beauty -- is removed in order to protect your house in case a wildfire should approach.)

Thank you, too, for your prayers. Might I ask you what sense you make of God in light of what seems to be needless suffering? Anabel had a good life for three years, but those last three hours -- the terror of being attacked and carted off, as much as whatever physical pain she was in -- haunt me. This was essentially a sport kill -- senseless - which is harder than wild predators who take a hen to feed their young at this time of year.

What do you think God is doing with this? It's hard to find any meaning, any lesson, any redeeming value in a young, innocent animal being killed in such a way. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts; they are, indeed, a consolation.

 

[KRack]

Thank you so much for this. I do try to observe what makes my girls happy and provide it as often as possible. Mine, too, obviously prefer as much freedom as they can get.

And you describe striking the balance in such a wise and accurate way -- diminishing good because you are anticipating harm that may never occur. (This brings to mind the most extreme wildfire mitigation strategies here in the West, in which all nearby vegetation -- and wildlife habitat, and beauty -- is removed in order to protect your house in case a wildfire should approach.)

Thank you, too, for your prayers. Might I ask you what sense you make of God in light of what seems to be needless suffering? Anabel had a good life for three years, but those last three hours -- the terror of being attacked and carted off, as much as whatever physical pain she was in -- haunt me. This was essentially a sport kill -- senseless - which is harder than wild predators who take a hen to feed their young at this time of year.

What do you think God is doing with this? It's hard to find any meaning, any lesson, any redeeming value in a young, innocent animal being killed in such a way. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts; they are, indeed, a consolation.

When senseless things like this happen, our first reaction is often, if there is a God, why does He let these things happen?!

The truth is, God never wanted any of this to happen. But for God to prevent every bad thing, He would have to take away free will. Which He will never do. He never wanted a sinful world for Adam and Eve, and He tried to correct course with Noah again as well. But there’s always been a mix, those who want to follow Him and those who don’t. And He wants our love and relationship of our own free will, just as we do with relationships we have with others.

I don’t believe God is behind planning bad things that happens, but sometimes He does allow them (again, for the sake of free will). Ultimately, while He doesn’t want us to suffer, His hope is that we turn to Him to find comfort when trials and hard times do come. Trials He truly never wanted us to have to endure. He wants us to know that our time here on earth is short, and that He has a plan for us to never experience those bad things ever again, and find comfort in that.

I believe God is mourning with you. I believe animals make it to heaven because there are animals listed in the Bible as grazing together in that place. So I would cling to believing that Anabel is likely knowing peace, joy and love that we can’t even understand right now, and that you will see her again one day.

If I can encourage you in anything, it’s to trust Him even if you can’t make sense of everything. As Job said “shall we accept good things from God, and not the bad”? After all, the punishment of sin is death. The fact that we get day after day of chances and choices, after sinning (we all do!), is proof enough of His mercy, love and faithfulness. We put ourselves first, our worldly wants first…and still He loves us and desires a relationship with us.

He provided Anabel (and all of us) with a secure and amazing eternity. He saw earth went to crap because of peoples free will, so He sent His Son to make a way for us, and now He’s waiting on us to realize all He’s already done for us.

These are my beliefs, anyway. I hope this was all ok to share.

 

[cate1124]

When senseless things like this happen, our first reaction is often, if there is a God, why does He let these things happen?!

The truth is, God never wanted any of this to happen. But for God to prevent every bad thing, He would have to take away free will. Which He will never do. He never wanted a sinful world for Adam and Eve, and He tried to correct course with Noah again as well. But there’s always been a mix, those who want to follow Him and those who don’t. And He wants our love and relationship of our own free will, just as we do with relationships we have with others.

I don’t believe God is behind planning bad things that happens, but sometimes He does allow them (again, for the sake of free will). Ultimately, while He doesn’t want us to suffer, His hope is that we turn to Him to find comfort when trials and hard times do come. Trials He truly never wanted us to have to endure. He wants us to know that our time here on earth is short, and that He has a plan for us to never experience those bad things ever again, and find comfort in that.

I believe God is mourning with you. I believe animals make it to heaven because there are animals listed in the Bible as grazing together in that place. So I would cling to believing that Anabel is likely knowing peace, joy and love that we can’t even understand right now, and that you will see her again one day.

If I can encourage you in anything, it’s to trust Him even if you can’t make sense of everything. As Job said “shall we accept good things from God, and not the bad”? After all, the punishment of sin is death. The fact that we get day after day of chances and choices, after sinning (we all do!), is proof enough of His mercy, love and faithfulness. We put ourselves first, our worldly wants first…and still He loves us and desires a relationship with us.

He provided Anabel (and all of us) with a secure and amazing eternity. He saw earth went to crap because of peoples free will, so He sent His Son to make a way for us, and now He’s waiting on us to realize all He’s already done for us.

These are my beliefs, anyway. I hope this was all ok to share.

Of course it was OK: I appreciate that you did. I am more inclined toward Buddhism, but open to understanding all manner of beliefs when it comes to meaning, suffering, grace, salvation, redemption. We encounter so many trials in this life -- loss first among them -- and how we navigate those hardships is key to whatever serenity and happiness we are able to find here. And -- if there is something after (whether Heaven, or reincarnation or something else we cannot imagine), also important in orienting us toward that experience.

You have truly been a friend to a stranger in your responses to me. Thank you so much. I wish you and your flock many moments of happiness and satisfaction -- love and joy -- and the support of your obvious wisdom and resilience through the hard times. Blessings to you, Friend.

 

[KRack]

Of course it was OK: I appreciate that you did. I am more inclined toward Buddhism, but open to understanding all manner of beliefs when it comes to meaning, suffering, grace, salvation, redemption. We encounter so many trials in this life -- loss first among them -- and how we navigate those hardships is key to whatever serenity and happiness we are able to find here. And -- if there is something after (whether Heaven, or reincarnation or something else we cannot imagine), also important in orienting us toward that experience.

You have truly been a friend to a stranger in your responses to me. Thank you so much. I wish you and your flock many moments of happiness and satisfaction -- love and joy -- and the support of your obvious wisdom and resilience through the hard times. Blessings to you, Friend.

My pleasure. Thank you for your kind words. I was in a similar place of struggle recently, so I understand trying to make sense of it all.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

When senseless things like this happen, our first reaction is often, if there is a God, why does He let these things happen?!

The truth is, God never wanted any of this to happen. But for God to prevent every bad thing, He would have to take away free will. Which He will never do. He never wanted a sinful world for Adam and Eve, and He tried to correct course with Noah again as well. But there’s always been a mix, those who want to follow Him and those who don’t. And He wants our love and relationship of our own free will, just as we do with relationships we have with others.

I don’t believe God is behind planning bad things that happens, but sometimes He does allow them (again, for the sake of free will). Ultimately, while He doesn’t want us to suffer, His hope is that we turn to Him to find comfort when trials and hard times do come. Trials He truly never wanted us to have to endure. He wants us to know that our time here on earth is short, and that He has a plan for us to never experience those bad things ever again, and find comfort in that.

I believe God is mourning with you. I believe animals make it to heaven because there are animals listed in the Bible as grazing together in that place. So I would cling to believing that Anabel is likely knowing peace, joy and love that we can’t even understand right now, and that you will see her again one day.

If I can encourage you in anything, it’s to trust Him even if you can’t make sense of everything. As Job said “shall we accept good things from God, and not the bad”? After all, the punishment of sin is death. The fact that we get day after day of chances and choices, after sinning (we all do!), is proof enough of His mercy, love and faithfulness. We put ourselves first, our worldly wants first…and still He loves us and desires a relationship with us.

He provided Anabel (and all of us) with a secure and amazing eternity. He saw earth went to crap because of peoples free will, so He sent His Son to make a way for us, and now He’s waiting on us to realize all He’s already done for us.

These are my beliefs, anyway. I hope this was all ok to share.

So beautifully put.

 

[Ponypoor]

I've been keeping hens for more than 20 years, and losing them just seems to get harder, especially when I feel I could have prevented it. I am looking for consolation, I guess, or at least company.

I lost my beautiful 3-year-old cream legbar Anabel -- happy, healthy, sweet-natured, hard-working -- to a roaming neighbor dog yesterday. Loose dogs are uncommon but not unheard of on my street. Anabel loved to fly over the fence to scratch and peck nearby; she never went far, and lately had favored a protected area beneath a maple tree right outside the fence. She seemed to enjoy it so much; I would eventually check on the girls, find her out and return her to the fenced yard.

I was inside and didn't witness the attack, but neighbors saw the dog running off with her and alerted me. From the feather pile, it appears he cornered and pounced on her as she was trying to get back into the yard; unfortunately, the fence blocked her return. My guess is that the dog saw the rest of the flock in the fenced side yard and discovered her out when he came down my driveway to see if he could get at them. Though I found her down the road a bit after getting everyone else in the coop (they were freaked, obviously) and she had no visible wounds, she was breathing very heavily and could not really get up. I gave her some electrolytes for shock, but I think she had internal injuries from being pounced on. She died a couple hours later.

If I had weighted her risk more accurately against her pleasure, I might have trimmed her flight feathers to keep her from flying out. Or, having decided to let her enjoy her little escapes, I should have checked on her more frequently to return her to the fenced yard. I did neither, and thus put her in harm's way. "You did your best," people say, but I really didn't. I had grown complacent about her safety and did not consider carefully enough that what did happen could happen.

How do you work with postmortem regret, the knowledge that something you did, or did not do, contributed to a hen's death? That something you could have, should have, have done differently might have prevented the loss? I've had this experience before, missing a sign of illness I thought after I should have spotted, not adequately weighing predator risk. (A bobcat jumped the fence about five years ago and made off with a hen; dusk was approaching, and if I had gotten them in a little earlier, they might have been safe.) It's so painful to lose an animal you love. To think you could have prevented the loss is of course that much harder.

I'd really appreciate hearing others' experience and would gladly accept whatever consolation you can offer. I know this is part of chicken-keeping, but I sometimes just feel like I can't face one more death. Thank you.

Woulda
Coulda
Shoulda

Hindsight is always 20/20. Hard lessons to learn.

After having horses for 40 years I have been down that road way too much, talk about animals trying to kill themselves all the time.

What I learnt from horses I have applied to the chickens: make sure they have safe appropriate housing, lock them is a safe secure place if not watching them and if something does happen do not dwell upon it.

You cannot turn back the pages of time, learn from you problem and move on.