Prokta's Relationship Advice Column

[Ec_Prokta]

Apparently, a lot of my friends think that I give out good advice for those in relationships, so I've decided to start a general thread so I may be able to help even more people with any problems they might have! And no, you don't have to pay me 5 cents.

 

[Tanichca]

Yay!!!! PK is the best advice giver I know of. She is wise, objective, and knows what she is talking about.

 

[Spookwriter]

Now, THIS is just what we need her....our own resident advice column.

Can I be first?

I have a problem, and I just don't know how to handle it. There's a
certain member-who-shall-remain-nameless who keeps tempting me
with promises of fresh brownies.

Oh, the things she's promised!

Shameless.

I really need your advice. I don't know what to do. I try to leave her.
She's mean to me. Slaps me around on screen, even. I try to ignore her.

And yet...I can't. I'm drawn to her every post, like a chicken to a bug.
I need help...serious help.

Tell me Doc, what can I do? These long-distance relatioships just aren't
working out for me. My wife won't let me be gone overnight.

So tell me...What should I do now?

signed,
Spook

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Quote:
You could always ask your wife to make you those brownies. I think you're drawn to said member's posts because she's funny and promises you brownies, not because of love or anything like that. So, have your wife make you brownies!

 

[BrattishTaz]

Quote:
Poor Spook.

Don't feel bad.

You are only one of the fish on her many brownie baited hooks.

 

[awesomefowl]

Great advice! Can I have some brownies too?

 

[Tanichca]

I have another one:
My best friends crush is flirting with me. He has expressed intrest in her, they are boyfriend/girlfriend in all but name. But still, he flirts with me. What do I do now?

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Quote:
1. Are you sure they're boyfriend and girlfriend in all but name? Because, for example, I have a guy friend who is incredibly happy to see me, and I him, and we talk a lot, but we definitely have no interest in each other.

2. It could be that he's only being playful. If it bothers you, tell him to stop because it may offend his girlfriend.

3. He could be trying to date two girls at the same time. If so, warn your friend about this.

 

[Tanichca]

Quote:
1. Are you sure they're boyfriend and girlfriend in all but name? Because, for example, I have a guy friend who is incredibly happy to see me, and I him, and we talk a lot, but we definitely have no interest in each other.

2. It could be that he's only being playful. If it bothers you, tell him to stop because it may offend his girlfriend.

3. He could be trying to date two girls at the same time. If so, warn your friend about this.

Well, she is all gaga over him, he flirts with her too, and talks about what wil happen after they get married, bla bla bla. Not that they ever will, but it's still disconcerting.

 

[Spookwriter]

I've tried asking my wife to make brownies. Didn't work well.
Let's be kind and say I didn't marry my wife for her cooking abilitys.
She forgot to mention she couldn't cook when we were getting all
married up. A few trips to the hospital, I quit asking her to cook. She's
been demoted to the official dancing girl, and I need a cook.
(Cooks are more valuable to fat men than dancing girls.)

I'm not much on sharing my brownies, awesome. Good brownies are
hard to come by for a fat guy like me. But ...yeah, I'll share with you.
Just this once.

And Taz, we're not allowed to name names here. Didn't you see where
that lady, Terri Lacy don't allow us to bad-talk the other members by name?
She ended my civil war all by herself. So...she-who-makes-the-brownies
shall remain nameless.

And yes, I've seen her-who-makes-the-brownies promise so much to her
other minions. But I can't stand the thought of my just being another poor
minion on her hook. And in all fairness, I don't think she's ever referred to
me as a "minion". Old gezzer, I think is what she called me.

Uncalled for. Just cause I'm 103...Mississippi is way older than me. He's 105,
and nobody calls him old.

Me, being the kind and wonderful Spook that I am have never called her the
slighest name. Well...this is Tuesday. At least this week I haven't called her no
bad names. I might'a called her a harlot and a cougar once or twice. But those
are old posts, and nobody knows where they went anymore. Just gone.

So Doc, you think maybe I'm drawn to her post because they're funny. You might
have something there. I really think the world of her-who-makes-the-brownies.
She never fails to make me happy.

Sounds like you might be a pretty good advice columnist after all. I'll tell my friends.
I know some of them have some problems here. That Imp, it's just clean out of control
sometimes.

It could take you a week or two to solve all our problems here. We're a strange bunch.

signed,
Spook