Erma Bombeck ...
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
"At some point in your life, if you're lucky, you throw practicality to the wind and start living."
"Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed."
"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else." "There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there."
"I've decided life is too fragile to finish a book I dislike just because it cost $16.95 and everyone else loved it. Or eat a fried egg with a broken yolk (which I hate) when the dog would leap over the St. Louis Arch for it."
"As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am"