~Run With The Pack~ A Wolf Roleplay

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Originally Posted by OwlLover


April, I'm serious now. It's not funny.
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There seems to be such a stereotype for the elderly to produce boring and unneccesarily long stories that have no apparent subject and ramble alot. Hah! I remember, when my wife and I were on our honeymoon, I woke up, and decided to have a pb and j sandwich for breakfast. Back then, we called peanut butter peanut based vegetable spread. Back then, all peanut butter had chunks. Nobody was allergic back then. That's cause big multi-heartless corporate-inter-global companies didn't spray rat-poison all over watermelon rinds. You can eat watermelon rinds that you don't get from the store these days. Have you ever noticed how grocery stores never sell ammunition or spare cockerels anymore? Back in the day, I used to walk into McMurphy's General Store and I'd say, 'Murphy?' and he'd say 'Yeah?' and I'd say 'Hows about a game of checkers?' and he'd say "okay.' and we'd sit down by the cheese barrel and play a game or 12. He'd always move his left-most guy first. I don't know how many left-handed people there are, but I know everyone has at least 1. Murphy always had a limp. Got that in the war. Not the world war, the McMurphy/Bonnison war. Still rages on today, it does. They'd aim in a random direction, fire, and hope that a member of the other family was in the way. That's the reason the Cumberland Curly pig went extinct. Last one got shot by a Bonnison firing at a McMurphy. They had such good back bacon come offen em. Tasted real good cooked in salt. Real lean. These day, Econopig side bacon is so flavourless and people look funny at ya when you douse a piece in salt. Salt used to come at a shilling a pound, it did. Don't know when that was, but I'm sure it did at some point. There was a time when people were respectative! Nowadays kids don't speak english, and you got 11 year olds having babies and you got yer 12 year old robbin banks and everybody telling you how old you look and swearin for no apparent reason, Why I had a fellow come up to me the other day, a blond fellow, just like my wife used to be, but now she's white. She used to have such peachy blonde hair when everybody was kids. You still readin this, Lidy? Any-a-ways, I knew a lad once that used to go down by the crick where the eels spawn, and used to take a mug full of milt and drink it all down. Said it had lots of nutrients. I tried it. Threw up 9 times, and had nightmares for a week. They got throw-up and anti-throw-up medicines now. I had to take alot of medicine during my last tapeworm. I named him Mr. Wormy. My 2nd tapeworm I got from kissing a duck on the mouth. That duck was named Agnes. She never liked my wife, Mary. She was 8 years old whenn we got married, and she'd always follow her around, hop up on her feet, and drop the most unpleasant bag of extra-processed corn you ever seen! She only had to put up with Mary for another 2 years, when she caught cold and flew up to that lilypond in the great by and by. You ever noticed how bullfrogs like lilies? They're too big to sit on em like thother frogs do, but they still like them. It taint legally no more to eat a bullfrog. Tisn't leglly to eat a fisher any more niether. I hope they lift that fisher prohibition soon. Han't tasted fisher in many a year. I remember the day my daddy bemembered me to the Sppa. It was the 4th greatested day in my life. And about Hospital Food! Oy! Did I already tell you that Miss Emily had black hair? I hated her. Nelly was brown haired. When she was 4 years old, she tried canning a big ol' pumpkin by mashing it down an old gas funnel into the can. They don't make funnels like they used to. They don't make potatoes like they used to, either. Tomatoes aren't good anymore. I remember Bobby McLarson's homemade Tomato Moonshine. That stuff could Tar a Wether. I lost my memory and became incontinent for 12 weeks after takin a lick o' that stuff. Nobody uses good horse leavin's as fertilizer anymore. All they uses is ribo-flavin enhanced mulit-benzine-etle-metle-ketony on their flowers. That's why all the roses you get from yer florist smell like pee. It's alot more convenient these days to get the flu. You don't have to run outside in the middle of the night in the middle of winter throwing up all over your union suit. Nowadays you just sit back, and read, and savour the black nausea. I think I already told you about how when my wife and I were on our honeymoon, I woke up, and decided to have a pb and j sandwich for breakfast. Back then, we called peanut butter peanut based vegetable spread. Back then, all peanut butter had chunks. Nobody was allergic back then. That's cause big multi-heartless corporate-inter-global companies didn't spray rat-poison all over watermelon rinds. You can eat watermelon rinds that you don't get from the store these days. Have you ever noticed how grocery stores never sell ammunition or spare cockerels anymore? Back in the day, I used to walk into McMurphy's General Store and I'd say, 'Murphy?' and he'd say 'Yeah?' and I'd say 'Hows about a game of checkers?' and he'd say "okay.' and we'd sit down by the cheese barrel and play a game or 12. He'd always move his left-most guy first. I don't know how many left-handed people there are, but I know everyone has at least 1. Murphy always had a limp. Got that in the war. Not the world war, the McMurphy/Bonnison war. Still rages on today, it does. They'd aim in a random direction, fire, and hope that a member of the other family was in the way. Any-a-ways, I noticed that they got throw-up and anti-throw-up medicines now. I had to take alot of medicine during my last tapeworm. I named him Mr. Wormy. My 2nd tapeworm I got from kissing a duck on the mouth. That duck was named Agnes. She never liked my wife, Mary. She was 8 years old whenn we got married, and she'd always follow her around, hop up on her feet, and drop the most unpleasant bag of extra-processed corn you ever seen! She only had to put up with Mary for another 2 years. Agnes died, but her daughters hated Mary just as much as she did. Mary got the flu 12 times in her life, and I got it 7. That's a com-bined total of 19 cases. The doctor took his share of the pullet-money, I dare say! When Mary had her first baby, she was out pickin blueberries and had him out in the woods. The second baby was delivered out in the hospital. $12 for the delivery! $12! I hope the inflation's ended by now at least a little... You still readin this, Lidy? Any-a-ways, I knew a lad once that used to go down by the crick where the eels spawn, and used to take a mug full of milt and drink it all down. Said it had lots of nutrients. I tried it. Threw up 9 times, and had nightmares for a week. They got throw-up and anti-throw-up medicines now. I had to take alot of medicine during my last tapeworm. I named him Mr. Wormy. My 2nd tapeworm I got from kissing a duck on the mouth. That duck was named Agnes. She never liked my wife, Mary. She was 8 years old whenn we got married, and she'd always follow her around, hop up on her feet, and drop the most unpleasant bag of extra-processed corn you ever seen! She only had to put up with Mary for another 2 years, when she caught cold and flew up to that lilypond in the great by and by. You ever noticed how bullfrogs like lilies? They're too big to sit on em like thother frogs do, but they still like them. It taint legally no more to eat a bullfrog. Tisn't leglly to eat a fisher any more niether. I hope they lift that fisher prohibition soon. Han't tasted fisher in many a year. I remember the day my daddy bemembered me to the Sppa. It was the 4th greatested day in my life. And about Hospital Food! Oy! Did I already tell you that Miss Emily had black hair? I hated her. Nelly was brown haired. When she was 4 years old, she tried canning a big ol' pumpkin by mashing it down an old gas funnel into the can. They don't make funnels like they used to. They don't make potatoes like they used to, either. Tomatoes aren't good anymore. I remember Bobby McLarson's homemade Tomato Moonshine. That stuff could Tar a Wether. I lost my memory and became incontinent for 12 weeks after takin a lick o' that stuff. Did I already tell you about when my wife and I were on our honeymoon, I woke up, and decided to have a pb and j sandwich for breakfast. Back then, we called peanut butter peanut based vegetable spread. Back then, all peanut butter had chunks. Nobody was allergic back then. That's cause big multi-heartless corporate-inter-global companies didn't spray rat-poison all over watermelon rinds. You can eat watermelon rinds that you don't get from the store these days. Have you ever noticed how grocery stores never sell ammunition or spare cockerels anymore? Back in the day, I used to walk into McMurphy's General Store and I'd say, 'Murphy?' and he'd say 'Yeah?' and I'd say 'Hows about a game of checkers?' and he'd say "okay.' and we'd sit down by the cheese barrel and play a game or 12. He'd always move his left-most guy first. I don't know how many left-handed people there are, but I know everyone has at least 1. Murphy always had a limp. Got that in the war. Not the world war, the McMurphy/Bonnison war. Still rages on today, it does. They'd aim in a random direction, fire, and hope that a member of the other family was in the way. That's the reason the Cumberland Curly pig went extinct. Last one got shot by a Bonnison firing at a McMurphy. They had such good back bacon come offen em. Tasted real good cooked in salt. Real lean. These day, Econopig side bacon is so flavourless and people look funny at ya when you douse a piece in salt. Salt used to come at a shilling a pound, it did. Don't know when that was, but I'm sure it did at some point. There was a time when people were respectative! Nowadays kids don't speak english, and you got 11 year olds having babies and you got yer 12 year old robbin banks and everybody telling you how old you look and swearin for no apparent reason, Why I had a fellow come up to me the other day, a blond fellow, just like my wife used to be, but now she's white. She used to have such peachy blonde hair when everybody was kids. You still readin this, Lidy? Any-a-ways, I knew a lad once that used to go down by the crick where the eels spawn, and used to take a mug full of milt and drink it all down. Said it had lots of nutrients. I tried it. Threw up 9 times, and had nightmares for a week. They got throw-up and anti-throw-up medicines now. I had to take alot of medicine during my last tapeworm. I named him Mr. Wormy. My 2nd tapeworm I got from kissing a duck on the mouth. That duck was named Agnes. She never liked my wife, Mary. She was 8 years old whenn we got married, and she'd always follow her around, hop up on her feet, and drop the most unpleasant bag of extra-processed corn you ever seen! She only had to put up with Mary for another 2 years, when she caught cold and flew up to that lilypond in the great by and by. You ever noticed how bullfrogs like lilies? They're too big to sit on em like thother frogs do, but they still like them. It taint legally no more to eat a bullfrog. Tisn't leglly to eat a fisher any more niether. I hope they lift that fisher prohibition soon. Han't tasted fisher in many a year. I remember the day my daddy bemembered me to the Sppa. It was the 4th greatested day in my life. And about Hospital Food! Oy!
 
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