Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by TheOLDNewChick, Mar 8, 2008.

  1. TheOLDNewChick

    TheOLDNewChick I'm an original

    Jun 12, 2007
    Tioga, Louisiana
    We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us
    that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on
    the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one
    Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."

    We haven't used Sears repair since.

    My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
    gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a
    quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but
    this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get
    the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed m e back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of
    thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

    Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

    I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
    local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER
    CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing

    From Kingman , KS

    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

    From Kansas City

    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
    employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
    knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
    know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

    Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
    street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
    She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
    blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth
    are blind people doing driving?!"

    She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving
    the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
    itself and for the sake of h er lif e, couldn't understand why her system
    would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
    our car, we were told the keys had been locked i n it. We went to the service
    department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side
    door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
    handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
    technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

    This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi


    They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE
  2. seminolewind

    seminolewind Flock Mistress

    Sep 6, 2007
    spring hill, florida
    Not all people born have completely functional brains. Or common sense. good stories
  3. chickflick

    chickflick Crowing

    Mar 10, 2007
    lol [​IMG]
  4. [​IMG]
  5. Telamon

    Telamon Songster

    May 31, 2010
    I have no idea.
  6. Chickapooh23

    Chickapooh23 Songster

    Jan 31, 2009
    Corning OH
    A friend of my daughters was over for their graduation party. She was talking to my son about college (he is two years older then my daughter) and asked him what he was majoring in.... He replied "I am going to be an engineer". She said "Oh that nice your going to drive trains."
  7. Telamon

    Telamon Songster

    May 31, 2010
    I have no idea.

    a kid named billy told his friend mark what his dad's job was

    billy: what is your dad's job?

    mark: my dad is a lawyer

    billy: honest?

    mark: nope, just the one that lies alot... [​IMG]
  8. halo

    halo Got The Blues

    Nov 22, 2007
    My Coop
    How in the world do people find threads that are over 2 years old?????
  9. Telamon

    Telamon Songster

    May 31, 2010
    I have no idea.
    i just find them and see if they're interesting, then post something to bring it to the top of the list so everyone can be entertained

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