I'm an original
12 Years
Jun 12, 2007
Tioga, Louisiana
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us
that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on
the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one
Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a
quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but
this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get
the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed m e back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of
thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER
CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing

From Kingman , KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth
are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving
the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the sake of h er lif e, couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked i n it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side
door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi


They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE
A friend of my daughters was over for their graduation party. She was talking to my son about college (he is two years older then my daughter) and asked him what he was majoring in.... He replied "I am going to be an engineer". She said "Oh that nice your going to drive trains."

a kid named billy told his friend mark what his dad's job was

billy: what is your dad's job?

mark: my dad is a lawyer

billy: honest?

mark: nope, just the one that lies alot...

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