Seriously thinking of Homeschooling my Daughter

[yoie]

Ok, just had to get this out. My daughter just started Kindergarden, this is her second week of school. First day of school went great, she was excited to go and teacher wrote in her agenda, had a great day with a big smilie face. She was fine for the first two or three days of school, then she comes home with a note saying she had an accident in class. Since it was the same day as parent teacher night, I figured I'd ask the teacher what was up. Go to parent teacher night, listen to the Principal for 20 mins talking about attendence was low last year, try not to miss any school. Also kept talking about test scores and they need to be improved on, and what got me the most was they wanted parents to adopt a classroom, for $200 to buy supplies for the classes.

What was all the stuff I sent with my daughter for school! She also talked that they wanted volunteers (parents) to help out in the classrooms, but we couldn't help in our childs class, parents aren't even allowed to observe their childs class anymore! The last point really got me, we are no longer allowed to bring cupcakes into the school for your childs birthday. They are considered an unhealthy and the school will get in trouble if they serve them to the students. BUT, they serve pudding and icecream in the lunchroom, and there is vending machines full of snacks.

Finally get to go talk to the teacher, but we are told that it is going to be a 20 min session and then we have to leave! Get to the classroom, wait to talk to the teacher and finally get to talk to her. And all she says is that my daughter is very quiet, needs to talk more and tell the teacher when she wants to use the restroom. Also complains that my daughter doesn't know what "criss cross applesauce" is, I didn't know what that was, just to find out it means to sit indian style. Then she just walks away to talk to another parent, apprently our 2 mins were up. At this point I'm a little upset, and really starting to doubt this school.
Then this week my daughter has two more accidents in school, teacher just writes ACCIDENTS

, nothing else. My daughter also forgot her homework book (I still can't believe that Kindergardeners have homework). We knew what the homework was so we did it on a seperate sheet of paper so that she had it done. Get a note the next day saying that her homework wasn't complete, since it wan't in the notebook! Getting more furious everyday!
Then yesterday took the cake. I get a phone call from the school, from her teacher saying that my daughter is just sitting in her chair not saying a word. She said she came in sat at her desk and now won't move or talk to anyone. And get this, the teacher then wants me to talk to my daughter over the phone and tell her to do her work! What am I suppose to do from home! My grandmother was a teacher for 40 years and NEVER did this. The teacher then stated that she would just send the days work with her home so I could work on it with her. At this point I went to go pick up my daughter, what was the point of just letting her sit in class so I could teach her at home later. I get to the school and asked to take my daughter home. They told me to sit and wait. I waited 20 mins before I see this little old lady in the hallway walking up with my daughter asking if anyone has seen her mommy! I jump up and go to my daughter, the lady said she found her wondering the hallways looking for me. Apprently they just told my daughter to go to the office, no one to walk with her to show her the way. This is only the second week of school and her classroom is on the other side of the building! At this point I am furious

I call my DH and tell him what had just happened. Plus to make matters worse my daughter will not talk to me, she looks scared to death! I have no idea what happened in school to make her this way. My DH then calls the school for a parent teacher conference, he gets a call at the end of the day from her teacher saying they can just talk over the phone. And all she tells him is that she came into class happy and then wouldn't talk to anyone once she got to her seat. That is it and no in person conference.
Am I wrong at this point wanting to homeschool my daughter? I feel that they are moving way to fast on teaching, each day they learn a new letter (already half way through the alphabet), she wants them to write rhyming words and she hasn't even learned the whole alphabet yet! They are teaching them how to write on college rule paper, what ever happened to the giant spaced paper with the two lines and the dotted line in the middle to get the idea of how each letter is spaced! I just feel they are just going to move forward, even if the students dont' get it! They don't even teach phonics anymore, how are they going to read? Sorry I just had to get this all out it is really bugging me! Especially my daughter is really willing to learn and loves to learn. Her and her daddy love sitting down and just writing letters together. She loves puzzles and things that really make her think and she wants to know how everything works. Since starting school she has become very shy and hesitant about learning anything new. I just miss my bold little girl.

 

[kareninthesun]

Parents have rights. First, if papers come home stating she's had an accident it has to be documented and what steps were established following this accident. Important more worried of those. Is she being bullied? You need to skip communicating with the teacher at this point and demand ( your right) a conference with the principle. Do not let them shorten times, or leave without concrete answers to your concerns. And parents can sit in and observe only children. Or you can demand a child psychologist sit in and observe over a set amount of days. You can also demand that she be transferred out and into another class. You need answers. Why has she shut down? Why are they even using college ruled paper? Parent nights and conferences are.tightly scheduled, but a conference planned later gives more time. Letting the teacher know in writing (make copies) that you felt rushed and have concrete issues you want to discuss face to face may help first. Have a list. Stick to each line item until she's aaddressed them. Take notes.

Are you comfortable with the responsibility of homeschooling? Have you checked into those resources? Have you checked alternatives such as private schools?

 

[KristyHall]

 

[mhwc56]

No you're not wrong to want to homeschool your child.
Homeschooling allows for a child to have 1 on 1 learning with a teacher whose greatest concern is that child's learning...You know what your child's weaknesses and strengths are and can focus on each accordingly. You will know the child is not being taught things that you are uncomfortable with them learning....and the list goes on and on.Homeschooled children generally test better and know more/retain more than classroom taught kids.
I would advise that you find a homeschoolers' support group of some type.They are everywhere in Maryland and of tremendous assistance !

oh and did i mention, we homeschooled our daughter from K- graduation ? She is just about finished with getting her associates degree now.
We belonged to a homeschool co op group locally which was a lot of fun, educational,and supportive.We met twice a month , shared teaching classes with other parents( such as cooking,sewing, music,creative writing ,among others) ,did yearbooks and had graduation ceremonies for students.

Do be prepared for opposition ,especially from people close to you,if you decide to do this . Many people believe that a child will be deprived of socialization if schooled at home. WE believe schooling is FOR LEARNING though,NOT for socializing.
PlUS there are all sorts of after school sports,etc. activities available these days for kids outside of schools.
EVERYTHING a family that homeschools does is a learning experience...bake a cake:it's a math and science project. Feed the pets it's a science project.Read a story it's language arts ,social studies,etc...you get the idea.
Homeschooling is SO REWARDING! It's as AWESOME as being there for their first steps walking or when they say "Mommy" or "Daddy" for the first time ...all new experiences and YOU get to share them...NOT some person who you are on a last name only basis relationship. WHY should people have to allow near strangers to raise their children and teach them things they don't believe in or agree with? The answer to that is ...WE DON'T !

 

[Orchid]

I really feel for you and your daughter; both of my boys had excellent kindergarten teachers who were very empathetic and sympathetic with the kids. I am guessing this is your first child in school? I just want to assure you that not all teachers are this way, and not all schools are this way! You absolutely have the right to demand a conference with the teacher AND the principal present, and to request a switch in classrooms if the teacher is just not willing to work with your child.

Best of luck to you.

 

[silkiechicken]

The first we weeks are always going to be the hardest! Doesn't matter what it is.

You could do both perhaps? Homeschool after dinner, school during the day?

I was essentially half home schooled and thing it went well. Before I went to kindergarten my parents taught me the alphabet, how to write simple words, basic reading, simple math and "stupid facts" like boiling/freezing points. All my years of grade school up till college were esentially "play time" and "socialization time" which I think was very important to me "fitting in" and "dealing with" the people I see day to day. Granted, I went to a VERY diverse school and was exposed to many cultures. I had a few home schooled friends who had trouble when they wanted to do public school for a few yeras. I would say of book based learning, I did 75% of that at home with my dad after dinner.

Good luck with what ever you choose.

 

[SourRoses]

Wow! I would be pretty darn mad in your place.

I would go with the homeschooling, but if you decide not to... definitely follow Karens advice, because what is happening is just not acceptable. And you really need to find out why your daughter is shutting down before it becomes a bigger issue.
It could simply be the teacher is too assertive for her, not patient or understanding.

In any case.... 2 weeks into school is a pretty fast shut down... so something somewhere is not a minor problem for your daughter.

Its probably not related... but I had been reading on a website about gifted children and some of the behaviours that can come with it.. what you wrote sort of reminded me of what the site was saying... http://www3.bc.sympatico.ca/giftedcanada/develop.html

Edited to add - I was homeschooled from 6th grade on... before that it was public school... and the homework in the schools only gets worse and more rediculous. Even so... homework for a kid in kidergarten???????!!!! I'm in my early 20's.. and when I was in kindergarten I only remember learning to write my name, the alphabet and numbers. That year is supposed to be about learning to LEARN... not doing real work.

 

[featherfinder]

Im only 20 and i remember my year of kindergarden. It was called indian style then and We took almost a week for each letter. Doing a coloring project with the letter and having to use the letter so many times before we moved onto the next. Also "accidents" were delt with alot differently to when i was there. The child was not scolded or emarassed because they had an accident.

I think that teacher did something that made her so shy and cut off that she is not telling you about. Im sorry to hear about this. So many things have changed and i would consider home school at this point. I hope things turn around for your family!

 

[Runt Of The Litter]

home schooling is definitely worth looking into,if its anything like here/in the UK it isnt actually difficult to bring a child out of mainstream school into homeschooling,but for some kids they do need the whole school routine around them every day so its best getting some educational profesionals involved who can suggest the best route.

there are socialisation groups available for homeschooled children-woud probably be able to find them via the homeschooled support groups that have been mentioned,can remember one homeschooling group at an old riding school,the one thing that had always noted about the kids in the group was how well they behaved and were neither loud or nasty towards us either,public school certainly does seem to have a strong sense of student hierarchy to it,very territorial.

private schools are good in one sense because they have smaller classes,but they are also heavily reliant on results-many only allow kids a place if they score a certain amount on an entrance test,so they can weed out weaker students and keep up exam results.


its crazy that a child of kindergarten age is expected to keep up with tests,what are schools thinking? thats the sort of attitude that makes kids be phobic about exams later in life and end up failing them because of stress,they shoud let them be kids,the teachers can read over their work to see how much progress they have made without testing.


-am not a parent but speaking as a twenty seven year old who was special schooled up to fifteen,was expelled and never replaced.

 

[yoie]

Thank you all for your kind words. I was homeschooled myself in 6th grade, since the middle school in our area was known as one of the worst in the area. Afterwards I finished 7-12 in the school I am sending my daughter to. My grandmother also taught Kindergarden in the same school, I have talked to her about the changes since she has left there and she was shocked. She wants me to homeschool my daughter and this is coming from a former Public school teacher! My sister was also homeschooled 7-12 grade, so our family is very familiar with it and have lots of family friends that homeschool as well. Now my husbands family has no experience with homeschooling, and when my DH talked to his mother about it, she just said that is the way school is and she needs to deal with it! I have been looking into curriculums and I have support from my family. My DH wants to see how the next few weeks go, but I am preparing myself for homeschooling her. I have another daughter that is 2 1/2 and I feel she could benefit from this too.