Seriously thinking of Homeschooling my Daughter

[mom'sfolly]

Insist on a face to face with the teacher, counselor and principal. Ask what classroom procedures are for restroom breaks, and accidents. Ask about homework expectations, and other expectations from the school. Ask what the goals and expectations are for the kindergarten year. Ask how the teacher and staff intend to meet those goals. The school should have clear guidelines for these issues. Ask what the school policies are for volunteering and observing classrooms. I find it very difficult to believe that you are not allowed to observe the classroom. You have the right as a parent to talk to all of these people. Don't go in angry, listen and then state what you have seen and how you want things handled.

Talk to other parents who have children in the classroom and at the school. This will give you a better perspective on the teacher and school atmosphere. If volunteering is encouraged, get yourself up to the school, and participating. Being there will give you more information than anything else.

Here, there is a bathroom between every two kindergarten rooms. Kids have plenty of opportunities to use the rest rooms. Kids use wide pages for writing, and are expected to have a number of sight words by the end of kindergarten. We also have volunteers that do large amounts of activities for the school, children, teachers and classrooms.

It may be that you have a bad teacher or a bad school, but you may not. It might be bullying, it might be something else. You just don't know.

I feel you are working from a place of ignorance, not knowing exactly how everything works for the school, and classroom. Inform yourself, talk to the teacher, and the principal and don't make your schooling choices before you know what the situation is for both the school and homeschooling.

 

[Sword]

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I was homeschooled through high school, and for the reasons stated above, I think it's the best way to be schooled. The socialization thing is pretty much just a myth. The teachers at my local community college look forward to teaching homeschooled kids (around here, it's pretty common for high school homeschoolers to take some classes at community colleges. I took my first college level class when I was 15.) because they're polite, well behaved, and learn quickly. Their words, not mine.
Also, be sure to visit the Homeschool Legal Defense Association. Here's a link to their website http://www.hslda.org/ They're great to have on your side if someone tries to deny your right to homeschool.

 

[PotterWatch]

If you think you would like to work through things with the school, then try to get a conference with the principle to discuss your concerns. Has your daughter had anything more to say about it? Does she tell you things about her day that she liked? It does seem like there must be something odd going on to make her shut down like that in the classroom. Being a homeschooler, I of course think it is a great option with amazing flexibility. There are so many groups (most groups have a yahoo group message board), and so very many ways for your child to learn. I am a strong proponent of the better-late-than-early school of thought. I think that children are often made to learn things before their brains and bodies are ready. Both of my boys learned to read on their own (I read to them a ton and have since they were born but we never "taught" them how to read), around the age of 8 and are now great readers. My youngest still struggles with writing simply because his fine motor skills aren't as developed. We find alternative ways to do things that help boost his fine motor skills without causing him so much frustration and bad feelings. There is a great book on the subject: http://www.amazon.com/Better-Late-Than-Early-Education/dp/0883490498 . Whatever you decide to do, just remember it doesn't have to be permanent. If you leave her in school, you can always pull her out later if you choose. If you homeschool, public school will always be there if you feel homeschooling isn't working for you.

 

[Mattemma]

I pulled my K child after bullying was not addressed. I gave them 4 months to resolve the issue.Family told me my child had to deal with it.My child was getting sad,angry,and kept it all in.In the end I pulled my child(on my own) and did not regret it.My only regret was waiting so long.

If you or your child are unhappy try something else.Do not tolerate something there is absolutely no need to tolerate.There are so many options these days. I would not be happy with your childs school and would homeschool or use an online public school.

Why in the world would they send a K child to the office on her own?With everything you list I would say moving on looks good.

 

[jcatblum]

I didn't read all the replies, but I wanted to share that I have worked in public school, taught k & pre-k @ private school as well as homeschooled my own children.

I am asumig this is your first child to start school. Where I taught kindergarten the children began class able to write their letters & their own names. Plus where expected to be able to follow classroom routines within a few days of school beginning. It sounds as if your child has been @ home with you for several years. You have already had the opportunity to teach her. You as a parent are frustrated because the teacher expects your daughter to know the basics. The teacher can also be easily frustrated to have a child who isnt on the same level as the other students. When I taught we did a letter a day in prek. Out of a class of 18 all were reading by the end of prek, schools are working hard so the children can achieve better academic skills. I understand wanting to pull your baby back home to protect her & try to educate her on your own, but the classroom can also provide a great learning experience. Be patient get to know the school & the teachers. I loved teaching my girls at home & think homeschooling is an awesome choice, but I knew I wanted to Homeschool them since they were toddlers. It wasn't a decision I made over night & was something that was a good choice for my family at the time. My kids are now teens & go to public school in a very small school. There are days where I miss homeschooling, but they love being at school with other people everyday. (we had lots of social opportunities when we homeschooled, but still not the same as hanging out with people your own age everyday). Best of luck whatever you choose.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

As Mom's folly said, find out what is going on, and THEN make your decision. Your mil is wrong, just going with the flow and your daughter having to deal with it because "that is how things are" is not necessarily the right thing. Your job as a mother is to be an advocate for your daughter.

Something is NOT right. For one thing, it sounds like the teacher is not familiar with the wide range of knowledges and background experiences of kindergarteners, and expects them to all know a great deal more than many of them do. SOME kindergarteners enter the classroom already reading; some have no letter experience at all. And everything in between. Some kids are more shy than others in unfamiliar situations, and that may be at least a part of the problem, but it certainly does not sounds like the teacher makes any leeway for that. To refuse an in-person conferance, to expect a parent to follow instructions to make her child "do her work" are pretty outrageous.

Quite frankly, I think a talk with the district administration on district policies on classroom observation and parent requested conferences is in order. The no "home made treats" rule is becoming more and more common. Reasoning being that there is no health department certification of the cleanliness of your kitchen and cooking. Personally, I think the rule is stupid. I do have to say I tend to agree with preferring that parents volunteer in classrooms OTHER than the ones their child is in. All too often when a child's parent volunteers in their classroom, either the child clings to or shows off for the parent, and disrupts the classroom or at the very least their own work; occasionally they develop an arogant, bratty teacher's pet behavior.

Like it or not, some teachers play favorites, and it sounds like your daugter may have made it onto her teacher's "don't like" list.

I too was angry when my son's public 1st grade school asked parents to kick in about $500 per family to "save staff jobs" that had been cut. It was the PTO who were making the drive, but the letter went out on school stationary. I made the mistake of keeping him in that school through the whole year. Changed schools for 2nd grade, which was a MUCH better experience. Went from a class of 18 with a teacher who said that she couldn't group the kids or assign work at an individual level because there were so many students, who never knew where a kid was without having to look at her records to a class of 43 with 2 teachers who had about 8 group levels for each subject, and each teacher knew EXACTLY where each child was performing and what tasks they were struggling with.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
It may be frustrating to have kids with different knowledge levels, but not all children are ready to read when in pre-K, and until schools provide free and required pre-K, expecting that all children should know their letters and already be reading at the beginning of kindergarten is ridiculous.

Mind you, I chose academic preschools and kindergartens for my kids rather than developmental ones, and would still do the same, but I think expecting that all kids will operate with the same readiness for learning at the same age is unrealistic.

 

[MetalSmitten]

you know, i also wonder where the bathrooms are located. it could be something as simple as they're expecting her to go by herself to a location that she's unsure of (such as when they sent her to the office) and she just is afraid of going by herself or getting lost. and then she might shut down because she knows she's either going to have an accident, or be uncomfortable all day trying to hold it. it's hard to pay attention and be participatory if you're trying not to pee yourself all day. (side note: does she only do this in school? no chance that she's got a urinary infection or something embarrassing that she's not telling you?)

or it could be a completely inappropriate school for her. ultimately you know your kid best. good luck with whatever you do.

 

[JulieNKC]

I would call and request a meeting with the principal. Also, if things with this teacher don't improve is there another class she could switch to? My daughter is in first grade and very shy. She had quite a few problems in kindergarten, mostly just with not speaking up. She wouldn't talk to the teacher or the other kids. She made it to the bathroom (one in each class) but they didn't have to ask to use it or she would have had problems. She also can't button her pants for some reason and wouldn't ask for help so she still comes home with her pants falling off, lol. They had tons of homework too for some reason(at least an hours worth every night, plus reading!), and with having a preemie and a toddler and recent kidney surgery I didn't have time for it. I wrote the teacher a note, stating why and told her we would complete it, but it would be when WE had time, not when she sent it. After a few months she finally made some friends, and adored school so much she went to summer school. Sadly they moved and she is back to square one. I feel it's important for her to attend school though, because I think she needs the socialization. When she's older I've considered homeschooling her, but for now I think it's important for her to learn the whole school routine, and to be around other kids her age.

 

[mhwc56]

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I was homeschooled through high school, and for the reasons stated above, I think it's the best way to be schooled. The socialization thing is pretty much just a myth. The teachers at my local community college look forward to teaching homeschooled kids (around here, it's pretty common for high school homeschoolers to take some classes at community colleges. I took my first college level class when I was 15.) because they're polite, well behaved, and learn quickly. Their words, not mine.
Also, be sure to visit the Homeschool Legal Defense Association. Here's a link to their website http://www.hslda.org/ They're great to have on your side if someone tries to deny your right to homeschool.

Yep . My daughter started taking classes at the community college when she was 12...