So....talk about.....CANCER SUPPORT THREAD !!

[debilorrah]

Ken once had to drink some stuff that would make his blood glow (heart issues, not cancer) and I wanted him to pee in the toilet with the lights off. He did, no go. Bummer there. That would have been cool.

 

[broodytood]

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[CoyoteMagic]

Hey ya'll glad to see everyone is doing pretty good. Glow in the dark pee Deb? LOL

What did you find out today Broody?

Looks like Miss Heaven is doing much better. I saw where she may get to go home tomorrow!! I know that would be so good for all of their spirits, which in turn ya'll know will be good for Heaven's battle with this. Plus no kid wants to be in the hospital for Christmas!

I'm sorry Luna, Christopher Hitchens? He was a friend of yours?

Has anyone heard from Sara?! It's been awhile since she's check in. Last I knew she was working on the new B@@bs.



I've never lied to ya'll, and I'm not going to start now. Cancer wise I'm fine (as far as I know, no reason to suspect any different either) Mentally and emotionally, I almost had a complete meltdown yesterday. With possibly loosing our house (we find out tomorrow), my S.A.D., the drugs for the neuropathy, the pain of the neuropathy, the stress of the holidays, having problems sleeping, I'm finding myself in a place I've never been before. I've been fighting a giving up attitude. Tired. Tired of fighting, tired of being sick, tired of always putting up the brave front, and just plain tired. I also have S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) these short days and long nights just screw with my psyche and body. I take Welbutrin to help with it and have a special light, but it just doesn't seem to be helping this year. On top of everything, the meds I take for neuropathy have a very depressing effect. Any less than I'm taking, I have constant burning sensations, pain and muscles spasms even with heavy doses of Oxycotin to help with the pain. My poor Lurchie, he doesn't know what to do. I even told him yesterday that he could leave if he wanted and that I wouldn't blame him if he did. I am constantly on the verge of tears or in tears for no reason at all.

I don't know what to do ya'll. You know this is not me, I know this is not me. My give-a-darn is busted and right now I don't give-a-darn if it gets fixed or not.

Help!

oh and I have chemo in the am!

 

[deerman]

Coyote........I know you try to be strong, but its good to let it out.......you know you can't give up....you have to many love ones to spend time with.


not like you to want to give up....yes its hard and your battle has been a hard one, just know you have so many here pulling for you, plus hey you keep alot of us from giving up.

I set there today for 5 hours getting chemo today.........lot of thing when thru my mind.....yes one was why fight this....then i remember your words. can't feel sorry for myself........i need to fight as long as i can.......lot of my love ones hoping i can beat this......my doc said mine is not cureable ,but treatable..yes i hate all the side affects......can't sleep at night ,plus i live alone.....I have lived 1 year now withthis cancer inside me.

PM me if you need to talk. . . I know you try to be there for lot of use..........but girl we can be there for you to.

 

[redhen]

Oh Coyote...

 

[debilorrah]

Cindi - update please!!!

 

[jjthink]

Cindi

JJ

 

[3goodeggs]

CM,
I get down, and get angry at myself for getting down. I know that feeling.

Come talk to us. You do not know how having you all to pray for and talk to helps me.

I know how finances can make it all so much worse. It is like: how much more can you take in the teeth? and why do you deserve it? and who's wearing those boots doing the kicking? And why can't I get up from here and kick the jerk back?

When I get like that I do two things that help. I go visit people. Real live flesh and blood people, and I take the time to write down my little blessings. We have the big list with the great people and pets in our lives, but I mean the minutia. The things we take for granted.
My washing machine is my greatest marvel. It is wonderful. I do not have to pump the water, heat the water, make the soap. Beat the clothes on a rock... and it rinses them too. I am not a laundry luddite. I embrace my machines.
You have to think, "I could be living in a mud hut." Plenty of people are.
I am grateful for shampoo that rinses out cleanly.
And bagged dog food. I do not have to go find horse meat or make them mashed corn meal.
I am grateful for socks. and new ones are a delight.
I am grateful for refrigeration, lights, electric stove...

Life is good we just have to hunt it down and shove it in our faces sometimes.
I wish I could help you. You have helped me so much. I just want this to be all better. Know that I have a mental hug for you going all the time.
Jan

 

[HeatherLynn]

Holy Crap Coyote, you really expect a ton of your self. We really do respect your strength but you would not be human if you did not feel a bit weak and tired from all you face. I have notfaced cancer but I do face depression and I live with a mom who has SAD also. Sometimes its good to just let it out and cry. I personally go into the barn and scream now and then. I give myself a hour to cry, be depressed, freak out, yell, scream. Then I take my herbal happy pills and force myself to get moving. Do what you gotta do. You are allowed a bit of a breakdown now and then. Even without dealing with all you do. Considering all that is heaped on your shoulders I think a breakdown or two is more than reasonable.

Just know everyone here is behind you, even us lurkers. I hope all goes well with the house and the chemo.

Hugs and Love
Heatherlynn

 

[Lunachick]

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I'm so sorry you have to go through this my friend.

Like the others said, it's OK to crack a little. You can only do so much with all that you have to go through!! You've been such a good cheerleader for us, I wish I could do something for you............

My daughter suffers with depression, ocd etc. There are days she can't seem to cope, it happens. I just rally her on and try to distract her from herself. I think you need to let it all out, like Jan says, scream out loud to the universe or something!! Let em have it!

Please let us know how you're doing

&

Oh, Christopher Hitchens was a writer, kind of on the salty side, says what he likes with his British wit. You'd probably like him Cindi.