social phobia/extremely introverted

[canada-goose]

Hi princess and welcome,I also find socializing extremely tiring again sometimes to the point in so overwhelmed and over tired I dont sleep,sometimes ill be washing the dishes and suddenly think of a better reply I could have gave to someone in a conversation I had days ago! I also hate loud noises they feel like someones drilling my brain I sometimes wonder if I have autistic tendencys...my son has been diagnosed autistic...

Oh yes, I've come up with responses days-or even years-late before. It's very frustrating. And then, if the topic comes up again, I usually forget all the intelligent things I wanted to say.
I have no real idea why I'm so bad at dealing with noise; I just know it really doesn't help my ability to interact with people in real life, and it gets a bit embarrassing when I'm the only one covering my ears in the theater! I guess I spend so much time on the computer because I can control the volume and take the time to think over what I want to say.

 

[chooketychook]

Oh yes, I've come up with responses days-or even years-late before. It's very frustrating. And then, if the topic comes up again, I usually forget all the intelligent things I wanted to say.


I have no real idea why I'm so bad at dealing with noise; I just know it really doesn't help my ability to interact with people in real life, and it gets a bit embarrassing when I'm the only one covering my ears in the theater! I guess I spend so much time on the computer because I can control the volume and take the time to think over what I want to say.

Wouldnt life be so much easier if we could just type to people instead of talk lol,I would be able to socialise perfectly if I could avoid eyecontact,the person stood with there back to me while I type the answer to there question on a computer that came up on a screen infront of them,if when Ive had enough of talking I could just click my fingers and they dissappeared lol,I would also make the perfect party animal if once I got into the party I could click my fingers and a tinted windows,soundproof dome with a chair,ciggerettes,cup of tea and a interesting book about breeding chickens appeared and at the end of the party I could just casually walk alone to my car and go home h...
Anyone want to come partying with me haha??

 

[canada-goose]

Wouldnt life be so much easier if we could just type to people instead of talk lol,I would be able to socialise perfectly if I could avoid eyecontact,the person stood with there back to me while I type the answer to there question on a computer that came up on a screen infront of them,if when Ive had enough of talking I could just click my fingers and they dissappeared lol,I would also make the perfect party animal if once I got into the party I could click my fingers and a tinted windows,soundproof dome with a chair,ciggerettes,cup of tea and a interesting book about breeding chickens appeared and at the end of the party I could just casually walk alone to my car and go home h...
Anyone want to come partying with me haha??

Sounds pretty good to me. No more awkward conversations!

 

[Kaitie09]

Hi. I also am an introvert with some social anxiety and some OCD tendencies, although I have never been officially diagnosed. Being around people gives me headaches, I am also sensitive to noise and some lights trigger migraines for me. I'm horrible when it comes to answering questions, unless I know a lot about something. If I don't, I'll replay the scene over in my head and think of different things I could have said and what they would have replied back to me. Growing up, people thought I was a snob because I wouldn't talk or look at them.

I have grown up in the country, so I was lucky to have all the animals I wanted. I find it much more relaxing to lay out on hammock and read a book. What is strange is that the social anxiety seems to have skipped a generation. My grandmother is introverted and Bi-Polar, but mom and her 5 siblings are all extroverts. However, of my cousins (total of 12) 5 of us have anxiety issues and would be considered introverts.

 

[chooketychook]

Hi. I also am an introvert with some social anxiety and some OCD tendencies, although I have never been officially diagnosed. Being around people gives me headaches, I am also sensitive to noise and some lights trigger migraines for me. I'm horrible when it comes to answering questions, unless I know a lot about something. If I don't, I'll replay the scene over in my head and think of different things I could have said and what they would have replied back to me. Growing up, people thought I was a snob because I wouldn't talk or look at them.

I have grown up in the country, so I was lucky to have all the animals I wanted. I find it much more relaxing to lay out on hammock and read a book. What is strange is that the social anxiety seems to have skipped a generation. My grandmother is introverted and Bi-Polar, but mom and her 5 siblings are all extroverts. However, of my cousins (total of 12) 5 of us have anxiety issues and would be considered introverts.

Hi kaitie,thanks for sharing your story,at what age did you realise or become introverted do you know what may have triggered it or do you believe you were genitically pre disposed to anxiety?
In my family my mom had severe depression and suffered panic attacks throughout my young life,as shes got older its somewhat under control.
she would also class herself as extremely introverted to some degree I would agree but she craves human attention and regularly calls me and complains if I havent seen her for a week, where as I am introverted to the point that I would be fine seeing my family once a month and just a text every other day to know they are ok.
one of my sisters also claims to be introverted but she also craves human attention.
I do not crave or seek human attention at all im very happy with just my kids and husband and I even then require a couple minutes out the day to sit alone and hear silence (or chickens).
Its strange that many people with social anxiety seem to also have some form of sensory disorder/difficultys and find it hard filtering sounds,light ect..it makes me wonder if we could be somewhere on the autistic spectrum?
Even now my husband is watching Tv and its not too loud but it causing discomfort in my ears and head and making me feel quite panicky to be honest...
Are you happy being introverted?

 

[Kaitie09]

I can't remember a trigger for the anxiety, it seems like I have always been this way. My mother is extremely protective of my and my brother. I belie that may have played a part in it all. I think I really noticed I was more introverted when I started college. While everyone was doing the typical college thing, I spent more time in my dorm. Eventually I started commuting instead of living on campus.

 

[canada-goose]

I would be happy being introverted if I wasn't under so much pressure to interact with people. Feeling like you should be trying harder to talk to people is no fun when you honestly can't figure out what to say. I mean, I've figured out some of the basics, but I'm no good at asking or answering conversational questions. *Shudders*

I can talk about about concrete subjects such as TV shows or chickens though, and I genuinely enjoy conversations of that type.

 

[chooketychook]

Hi kaitie and princess,
Kait at that age I was very sociable always on my phone going collage and acting the life and soul,but I always had the pressure where everyone would come to confide in me eventually it felt like I knew half the collages problems and secrets it was like a burden I had to carry,each member of my family would also confide in me things about each other that upsets them and I couldnt tell no one so it was like a burden eventually I startes avoiding people because I simply didnt want to carry no one elses problems on my shoulders,I guess I just have a face people trust or maybe my reactions made me seem more interested than I was,I dont know...but I did know I couldnt take knowing things about people O shouldnt,so I guess that could have contributed to my withdrawel from people.
Princess its strange you say that,my sister called me today and after avoiding her phonecalls for 2 days I knew I had to answer,I gave her the im not feeling to well speech but it didnt work and she came over,I was like why oh why ive had to speak to people for 3 days in row,im tired! Anywho when she came we started to talk about chickens and my plans And that was so easy to talk about then we spoke about her hobby (she enjoys crafts) and her plans for the future,that lasted a couple hours we also spoke abouy the kids and other concrete subjects THEN we ran out of subject the dreaded chit chat starts,I start getting hot,uncomfortable,tired,unfocused and generally un interested (I know selfish) its like my ears block off what shes saying and I start to enter my own little world I dont mean it It just drains me to the point I think my brain unlocks the safety mechanism which is switch off mode it horrible but I have to still try and seem interested even though im struggling to follow the conversation and trying to keep my face looking interested! Well I have her daughter for the night so I have more chit chat to face tommorrow...wish me luck =\

 

[canada-goose]

Oh wow, that sounds frustrating. Good luck with tomorrow!
I don't think your being unable to handle chitchat is selfish though; maybe it would be selfish if you found everything she said about herself boring, but it doesn't sound like that's the case. You just can't deal with less focused conversation too well, which really isn't your fault.
I may be biased though, seeing as I have much the same problem.

 

[hilareee]

i also suffer from social anxiety. i've been shy my whole life. my mom has told me that my reticence as a child actually embarrassed her! add to that life long depression and teenaged onset PTSD...
i've largely become reclusive, interacting mostly with my live-in BF. he's an extrovert, so i get a little practice being social. it's difficult, and i'm afraid i come across as rude or even weird to other people. i'd much rather stay in over going out, but i try to push myself to get out and interact a little bit. i have a few friends, none of whom live in my town. a couple of them will come and take me out for lunch or something, and it's good practice for me.
being out in public itself is hard for me because of my hypervigilance (loud noises make me jump, i'm always having to be aware of any people around me).
it's certainly not an easy way to live, but i cope as well as i can.