Sour Crop death :(

[JsalasOceanside]

We lost a lovely, sweet, adorable Black Australorp to egg binding and prolapsed vent that happened within a two hour window. She had been roaming the yard, ranging, pecking, scratching, sun and sand bathing and having a good time to 3 hours later, near death in the run. I tried to save her but could not. She died in my arms. It was a traumatic loss and the self doubting was over whelming. I understand what you're saying. It took me weeks to get over the sudden loss and shock of losing her. It just flippin happens is all I can say, despite our best efforts. Her best bud cried and moaned and sulked for weeks. It tore me up and broke my heart, which is what motivated me to get newbies.

Your description of the way things unfolded is so clear and takes anergy to think of how you got through that..All my respect to you and the clarity you have..I might have to consider that I'm not built for this..I helped a neighbor with her 8 hens and she was elderly and just could not manage,,,,it became my way of helping her and before you know it I was attached..from then to now has been a journey I never saw coming..I know loss is part of this whole life experience, but I find I'm internally compromised when it happens..I feel that I will move this final little lady into my house,,hold her as often as I can and see her through,,to get another would possibly lead to more of this and at my age, it just might not be fair to the innocent bird that would join..I knew this was coming,,it's just now thatit's right on me,,just trying to breathe it out..

my name is John,,I thank you so much for this exchange..I won't expect of you to continue this, but if you ever need to reach out or express anything about your birds, I'll be here..I reached out to be able to get this off my chest..you were right on time..I send you and your beautiful birds a brain hug..thankful..

John - Oceanside, San Diego

 

[Bawkbok]

I might have to consider that I'm not built for this.

Trust me, John, when I say I've had that same sentiment on every occasion that we've lost a bird. Our first year was riddled with sicknesses from respiratory to Marek's to heart disease to the egg binding / prolapse to egg yolk peritonitis. Every loss takes something away. After the loss of 6 birds over the first 8 months I wanted to quit and walk away from chickens all together because I couldn't take the heart ache. Not being a quitter by nature, my husband would not "let" me quit. His encouragement - and the financial investment - pushed me to continue and learn and learn and with every loss we learn. As you indicated, one quickly becomes attached. I don't know what the magnetism is (aside from yummy eggs) but there definitely is one. We are entering our second year so still newbies here. I rely on this site for knowledge, experience, inspiration and support. There are many fine folks here willing to sincerely help in crisis.
I can tell you that on days when I'm not feeling well, or I'm distracted by something in life, I sit in the run with the birds or watch them roam the yard and just watching them do their thing is relaxing and cathartic. I would encourage you to not make any final decisions right now on what to do or not to do relative additional birds. Doubting is normal, feeling guilty is normal - but you did nothing wrong. You care -- which is why your heart is aching. Sit with your grief for a time but don't wallow in it.

Best of luck and thank you for your kind words.

 

[JsalasOceanside]

Trust me, John, when I say I've had that same sentiment on every occasion that we've lost a bird. Our first year was riddled with sicknesses from respiratory to Marek's to heart disease to the egg binding / prolapse to egg yolk peritonitis. Every loss takes something away. After the loss of 6 birds over the first 8 months I wanted to quit and walk away from chickens all together because I couldn't take the heart ache. Not being a quitter by nature, my husband would not "let" me quit. His encouragement - and the financial investment - pushed me to continue and learn and learn and with every loss we learn. As you indicated, one quickly becomes attached. I don't know what the magnetism is (aside from yummy eggs) but there definitely is one. We are entering our second year so still newbies here. I rely on this site for knowledge, experience, inspiration and support. There are many fine folks here willing to sincerely help in crisis.
I can tell you that on days when I'm not feeling well, or I'm distracted by something in life, I sit in the run with the birds or watch them roam the yard and just watching them do their thing is relaxing and cathartic. I would encourage you to not make any final decisions right now on what to do or not to do relative additional birds. Doubting is normal, feeling guilty is normal - but you did nothing wrong. You care -- which is why your heart is aching. Sit with your grief for a time but don't wallow in it.

Best of luck and thank you for your kind words.

Thankful and 100% best to you and your Husband - and of course the magical curiosity of these birds,,,their walk, their talk,,pure therapy.