The "get to 1,000 pages before 12/31/12" thread

[Scooter&Suzie]

There was a Famous Doctor, an Old Man and a Boyscout on an airplane with engine failure. Unfortunately, there were only two parachutes. The quick thinking Doctor stated "I am the smartest man here and also in the world .. so he jumped out! The Old Man said "My time has been good and the end is near go on kid". The Boyscout replied "No that is okay, the smartest man in the world was in such a hurry, he just jumped out with my knapsack.

(http://www.cleanjokes4u.com/clean-joke.php?id=10262)

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Scooter&Suzie :

Quote:
The "get to 1,000 pages before 12/31/12" thread - Notice the date. It is 12/31/12, not 12/31/11.

Typo or a legitimate number, though?​

 

[imachickenprincess]

Quote:
The "get to 1,000 pages before 12/31/12" thread - Notice the date. It is 12/31/12, not 12/31/11.

Typo or a legitimate number, though?

good question.

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

Jonathan and Randy were hiking buddies and on this one day in the woods Randy is bitten on the rear end by a huge rattlesnake. Ok, Jonathan says "I'll run to town for a doctor." Jonathan runs as fast as he can for 10 miles to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is busy delivering a baby. Jonathan says “My buddy’s been bit by a rattle snake in the woods and needs urgent help right away!” Doc says "I can't leave now, I’m busy!" "But here's what you can do. Take a pocket knife, cut a little 'x' where the bite is, suck out all the poison and then spit it on the ground." Jonathan runs all the way back to his friend, who is in agony. In extreme pain, Randy screams "Well what did the doctor say?" "He says you're gonna die."

(http://www.cleanjokes4u.com/clean-joke.php?id=10219)

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

Quote:
Typo or a legitimate number, though?

good question.

True.

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Quote:
Typo or a legitimate number, though?

good question.

Let's just shoot for 1K by the end o' this year.

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

A pilot is flying a twin engine jet charter plane with a couple of very important executives on board. The pilot was coming into the Delhi airport through very thick fog with less than a few minutes to go when his instruments went out. He began circling around looking for a landmark. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with a guy working alone on the fifty eighth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?" The man replies, "You`re in an airplane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to perform a perfect blind landing on the airport runway 8 miles away. Just as the plane comes to a stop, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did he do it. "Quite easy," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless! Therefore, that must be Microsoft's Customer Support Offices and from there the airport is just 8 miles due East."

(http://www.cleanjokes4u.com/clean-joke.php?id=10153)

 

[imachickenprincess]

Quote:
good question.

Let's just shoot for 1K by the end o' this year.

we better really start posting then!

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

One sunny day Jake and John were driving down the road in Jakes car when he suddenly just drove through a red traffic light. John thought this was a bit odd. When Jake drove through the second red light, John decided to pipe up and ask him why he kept driving through lights when they are red. Jake answered by saying "It was something that his Dad had taught him". Then all of a sudden Jake came up to a green traffic light and started slowing down. John asked him why he was slowing down for a green green. Jake answered by saying that "My Dad might be coming across the road".

(http://www.cleanjokes4u.com/clean-joke.php?id=10148)

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."

(http://www.cleanjokes4u.com/clean-joke.php?id=161)