-The Mythics RP-

Speaking of the good ol prose- so, since last December, I stripped down my writing to its bare bones. I began mimicking other authors prose, compiling and compiling- ever since then, it's been a painful process building up to how I desire to sound. I think smooth, clear-cut, simple, and profound are all things I strive for. Not too much character feedback, I like it to run like a movie, more show, less tell.
I know I need to work on incorporating description more. I know my strung together 'and' sentences truly damage a slow-paced moment, and I must use them wisely. And I know I need to depend more on body language. I do not believe my dialogue to be awful, but correct me if I'm wrong. Dialogue I have written has always seemed to be natural, curious, plainly awkward, and real.
But I'd appreciate hearing from you all- in what ways could you see my writing mature? It would be wildly helpful to hear your opinions. I must grow my collection of writing knowledge. You all are trusted resources of encouragement and input. Thank you in advance!
Thisfeelsweirdbecauseyou’reanexcellentwriterandI
adoreyourwritingbutheregoes 😶

Your pacing is ✨🤌✨ and 100% reads just like a movie.
Your dialogue has an excellent flow to it (I love it lol) but I do think it’s natural almost to a fault—it would make for a kick-butt script where you can interpret meaning with the help of actors’ body language and facial expression. So I second Shade and your own note of adding more body language and introspection.
🤷🏼‍♀️
 
Lyra nodded, eyes on the floor as she stood. "Many thanks, sir." Her nose ran, but she dare not counter it.
Ember's temperament was equivalent to a pot of coals, and Tay did not anticipate decent sleep for either of them.
Cyrus left.

With her weight in it, the bed was a loud thing. She lay stiff, silent to the absolute.
Her mind ran. There was no sleep on nights like these. She stared into the shadows, and tried to keep up.
(I feel like we could end the scene with that. What next guys?)

@_-Captain BRM-_
@RDchicken99
@Lacy Duckwing
@Isabella6Storm4
@Amer
 
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