The NFC B-Day Chat Thread

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rjohns39 said:
He's 13. I have such a range of emotions going on right now... We were assured he was dna tested at birth, but in reality, he wasn't tested until he couldn't walk. Mom couldn't deal with the potential results... When he was finally tested and diagnosed, all that could be provided was supportive care. I think I have to let mom know what we're dealing with. How is the question, but I'm thinking have my best friend visit her so he can provide support when I tell her. I'm thinking I can't call her one day and tell her her great grandkid passed without advance notice.
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Your heart already knows the right answer. Do into others... you would want to know if you were her...right? If your friend is up for it and she is comfortable with that person I think it's a great plan. I'm sorry that you and your family are going through such a heart wrenching ordeal. No one should have to go through this. :hugs
 
Bamabexchicks said:
Your heart already knows the right answer. Do into others... you would want to know if you were her...right? If your friend is up for it and she is comfortable with that person I think it's a great plan. I'm sorry that you and your family are going through such a heart wrenching ordeal. No one should have to go through this. :hugs
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A little background: when I was in my Jr. year of college my step grandpa passed from cancer. No one told me, because I was in the middle of final exams. They were worried it would effect grades. It broke my heart that I did not get to at least say goodbye on the phone. I learned during spring break; a week and a half later. Too late to even send flowers. I felt cheated of the opportunity to mourn him with the rest of the family.
 
I wish I had a magic answer. All I can tell you is how much I wish that I would have been able to hug my grandson Austin one more time and to tell him how very much I loved him. One minute he was an active part of my life, the next minute he was gone, and that’s pretty hard to wrap your head around. Tam was here picking up Evan as I read your post, and I hope you don’t mind that I shared it with her. (She works exclusively with the elderly in the Care Center and I thought she might have some insight).

She said as contrary to common sense as it seems, and as much as we want to protect our older people as they grow more fragile, one of the feelings they often have to deal with is the feeling of being isolated and no longer needed because they were excluded from a family celebration - or crisis, as in your family’s situation. Now obviously you know your mom’s physical health and state of mind far better than we do so I won’t even pretend to know exactly how you should handle this news. But I thought I’d pass on Tam’s experience consoling her beloved residents when the unthinkable happens and they felt like they were left totally out of what was happening. I guess everyone needs to feel needed in some way.

I am so terribly sorry for what you are all going through. Sending hugs and prayers.....
 
Blooie said:
I wish I had a magic answer. All I can tell you is how much I wish that I would have been able to hug my grandson Austin one more time and to tell him how very much I loved him. One minute he was an active part of my life, the next minute he was gone, and that’s pretty hard to wrap your head around. Tam was here picking up Evan as I read your post, and I hope you don’t mind that I shared it with her. (She works exclusively with the elderly in the Care Center and I thought she might have some insight).

She said as contrary to common sense as it seems, and as much as we want to protect our older people as they grow more fragile, one of the feelings they often have to deal with is the feeling of being isolated and no longer needed because they were excluded from a family celebration - or crisis, as in your family’s situation. Now obviously you know your mom’s physical health and state of mind far better than we do so I won’t even pretend to know exactly how you should handle this news. But I thought I’d pass on Tam’s experience consoling her beloved residents when the unthinkable happens and they felt like they were left totally out of what was happening. I guess everyone needs to feel needed in some way.

I am so terribly sorry for what you are all going through. Sending hugs and prayers.....
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Well said, as always.
 
rjohns39 said:
He's 13. I have such a range of emotions going on right now... We were assured he was dna tested at birth, but in reality, he wasn't tested until he couldn't walk. Mom couldn't deal with the potential results... When he was finally tested and diagnosed, all that could be provided was supportive care. I think I have to let mom know what we're dealing with. How is the question, but I'm thinking have my best friend visit her so he can provide support when I tell her. I'm thinking I can't call her one day and tell her her great grandkid passed without advance notice.
Click to expand...
:hugs:hugs
 

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