The Riddle Thread!!

[orpington13]

My stem's planted firmly where I am allotted.
My tail is wavy and my face is quite blotted.
I relay much emotion though flatly I'm spotted,
And I grow half my size whenever I'm dotted.
I can speak any language, yet utter no words.
I'm no seed, yet I am well known among birds.

I live on a highway that's structurally sound,
Where you might see my friends accidentally bound.
It has many lanes, and also long lines.
There are lots of sharp turns, but plenty of signs.

I am played but not won, made but not spun.
The key is to measure before you've begun.

What am I?

 

[TheLukeMeister]

This one I know so watch out
Musical Note

 

[orpington13]

Well then here's one for you.

A man walks into a seafood bar and orders seagull sandwich. He then takes a bite, pays the waitress and says in a strange tone "Goodbye and Thank-you" he walks out and shoots himself in the jaw and falls off the pier into the sea.
Why?

 

[TheLukeMeister]

cause he was allergic to seagull???

 

[orpington13]

Why would he shoot himself in the JAW???????!!!!!!!!

 

[TheLukeMeister]

Just guessing.

 

[orpington13]

But why would he shoot himself in the jaw with an EpiPen!

 

[TheLukeMeister]

Cause I'm a bad guesser.

 

[TheLukeMeister]

hint?

 

[Book Em Danno25]

a hint would be nice