This has been a bad, bad day

[cassie]

Today is a very, very bad day. My SO was killed in an auto accident the 15th. Someone, who has obviously never been through this, told me that the packing up of his clothes would be the worst part. It isn't. Not even close. It is waking up in the morning and he's not here. It is learning something on the internet or hearing something on the radio that he might be interested in and he's not here to tell it to. It is the prospect of winter storms and bad weather, and knowing he won't be here with me to share it and to ease my nervousness. It is seeing the jigsaw puzzles we were going to do together this winter and knowing I will be doing them alone. It is unexpectedly coming across some little item he had bought for me just because he thought I would like it. It is watching his dog endlessly search and watch for him. It is knowing he is never, ever, going to walk through that door again.

 

[sumi]

I'm so sorry you're going through this

 

[mom'sfolly]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Everyone grieves differently, and no one can truly understand what another is going through. Sending kind thoughts in your direction....

 

[animallover505]

SO? I'm so sorry. I lost my grandfather when I was little, and my uncle, too.

 

[welasharon]

I am so sorry too. You need to make sure you have a real live person to talk to. Don't try to do it all on your own. Eventually you can get to the point where you can smile when you think about him or see something that he would have enjoyed. Praying for you to get to that spot as soon as you can.

 

[Mtn Laurel]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

You're probably at that point where all the bustle of funeral, family, etc. is over with and everyone else is back to their daily norm but there's no way for you to get back to that point. This is a really difficult time after losing someone as you're reminded of them at every turn. The worst part is that you'll forget they're gone for a split second and then remember and it's like learning they're gone all over again. I did that for months after my father died.

Dad died in October some years ago and - when I could finally bring myself to go Christmas shopping - I kept seeing things I knew he'd like and - for that split second - think about buying it for him. Then I'd remember. =( And I can't tell you how many times I've tried to pick up the phone to call him.

I can tell you that it won't be easy. None of it will be easy. BUT, it will get better. Over time. Slowly. There will be a day when you'll be able to remember and smile instead of remember and cry. I can't tell you when but that day will eventually arrive.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Absolutely heartbreaking just to think about, let alone live it. Please don't hesitate to lean on the around you while dealing with such a heavy change and loss.

 

[cupman]

I'm sorry. n

 

[liz9910]

I am so sorry I know exactly how you feel, my husband was killed while riding his bike in Santa Rosa on July 31st of this year.

 

[Sjisty]

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you feel like, although I lost my 19-year-old son a while back. Once things calm down from the funeral and everybody goes back to wherever they live, the house gets mighty big and quiet. That's when it begins to sink in and you realize what "forever" means.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you have other family around so you won't be totally alone.