I have to object to the no grabbing recommendation. Of course, with new or obviously agitated birds, don't grab them, and by grab I mean gently hold them, no actual grabbing. However, if you never make the first move, it's very likely that they won't either, and there will be no cuddling happening ever. They need to see that cuddling doesn't hurt. Get accustomed to it and learn to tolerate it, if not enjoy it. Like anything else new or scary - once they've had enough exposure to it, they'll get used to it.
I've handled my chickens extensively since they hatched. They vary in the degree to which they tolerate or enjoy handling or being in my lap. The DSL Barnevelders are friendly and will come up to me and hang out near me, one even jumps up on my shoulder, but they definitely don't like being touched, especially the females. All the work that I've done to tame them is very temporary unless I keep picking them up regularly, forever. If several days go by that I don't, they start to noticeably regress and even run away from me.
I also have Orpingtons (not Buff, a few other colors - Silver Laced, Lemon Cuckoo and Red Partridge). Compared to the Barnevelders, the Orps are like puppies! They seek my attention and want to be next to me or on me. With much less training and taming, too! They are just naturally WAY more people-oriented than the Barnevelders. I can pick any of them up anytime and cuddle them and they're totally fine with it. My young kids pick them up and carry them around. If they don't get handled for a few days, I can see them start to regress a bit, too, but nowhere near as much as the Barnevelders. You can get back on track quickly, but you have to take the first step and grab one. They may give a half-hearted protest squawk, more for appearances than anything else, but then when I put them down in my lap and let go, they stay, and even sit down and get comfy. If I don't "grab" them, they may not jump up at all, but when I do, they end up glad I did, and stay for quite a while, preening or taking a nap.
I have this one chicken in particular, a cockerel Orp, who LOVES it when I pet him and snuggle him, but he never ever jumps up in my lap on his own. He'll come stand next to me and put his head in my lap like a dog and wait to be petted, but that's it. I have to pick him up and put him in my lap. He then stays there for quite a while, as I pet him and talk to him. Here he is:
I'd say that the majority of the lap cuddles I get have been initiated by me grabbing a chicken. Both of us end up happy in the end. But if I just wait around and never grab them, lap cuddles will probably not happen.