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I tend to agree, but lets also look at the situation. We would like to think that all vets are in it to help animals and save the world one pet at a time. But for some of them, it is just a business. I worked as a vet tech for a little over a year before I was totally burnt out, by pet owners. I was a small animal tech and if I had a dollar for every young dumb couple who have been dating three months and get a puppy, but pass on Heartguard or other Heartworm medication because they can't afford it.. then are absolutely shocked when their dog has heartworms (no doubt from those romantic dates at the dog park), and then of course they can't afford the $700 treatment with a 50% success rate... for $30 a month you can insure against that with prevenative, and Heartguard will PAY for treatment if your dog comes up positive while being treated. Can't beat that. So, the point of this rant is that maybe the vet is burned out. Which is no excuse.. but also..
With all due respect to the original poster.. she mentioned a significant lack of funds/trailer etc.. the vet also has to consider whether or not he's going to be paid for his services, whether or not the owner can afford to sufficently treat the animal, etc. If the vet was under the impression that his services above and beyond the initial call couldn't be paid for, or that proper treatment for the horse couldn't be paid for, putting a horse down rather than letting it slowly suffer to the point of death is not a bad call. (Which is what may happen to the roommate's horse!). Fortunately for the horse, and all of us who are paying attention, the OP is intelligent enough to overcome her lack of funds and bust her butt to save her animal. 90% of horse/pet owners would not be/are not capable of doing the research and putting in the work she's done. If you don't have the money to properly take care of your animals with the best medical care available, you darn sure need to be able to work hard and do your best to provide the best personal care you can. I can't afford vet calls on 26 horses every time I get a shipping cold or suspect a colic, so I treat treat treat.
And finally, a good vet is going to worry about human safety first and foremost. No animal is worth one hair on a human head when it comes to safety, and the OP has mentioned that her horse won't stand for a needle, won't stand for water (They're making progress!). Both of these are due to a lack of respect for humans. If the horse doesn't respect a human, and needs to be twitched, roped, drugged for basic treatments.. the vet may have made a hasty (Albeit incorrect) call and presumed that treating this horse would be difficult and/or impossible, and that this would ultimately result in having to put it down. Sure, with enough funds, you can tranquilize a horse for treatments.. but again, the funds issue. No one knows the horse like the horses' owner, and clearly she has been able to work with him, handle the situation and make strides of improvement.. but the vet has to base his decision on what he sees. We don't know the temperment of the horse. Some of the most loved pets are crazy as a loon with everyone else, but can be handled by their owners. I have a cat that would take your hand off, but she's my cuddle bug. And she stays far away from anyone but me. The vet has recommended I put her down umpteenth times, as she suffers from severe allergies. But I can treat her, and we do just fine. (If she'd just stop scratching the sofa!).
Yes, the vet made some bad judgement calls. But based on the picture of the roommate, I can assume the OP is young also.. add that to the known temperment of the horse, the financial struggles.. the vet may have been making what he felt was the best call for both the horse owner and the horse in the long run. Maybe he shouldn't mix medicine with personal opinion. But we ALL need to keep in mind that he went through a HECK of a lot of schooling, a HECK of a lot of studying and a HECK of a lot of struggle to become a Vet. Whereas we.. have not. In this case, he made the wrong call. But in this case, the OP went above and beyond the call of duty to save her animal, and she's willing to put in the work. Most people would not have, and the animal WOULD have ended up dead, and the vet would have been correct to end it swiftly and in an affordable manner.
Let's cut him some slack and pray he had the right intentions, even if he was wrong medically. There are a million different opinions on treatment, and how something should be treated, and a lot of them will pan out and end up successful if the owner is dedicated to the cure. The OP is a great and caring pet owner. If she can use this experience to teach her horse some respect, and come out of it with him healed up and happy.. maybe she herself should consider going to vet school! We need more people like her in the field.