Update: Pet hen needs to be put down humanely. I need to know how.

The only 'humane' method would be taking her to a vet and having her euthanized. Even then it may be difficult to find someone who will euthanize a chicken and personally I would try to find a bird specialist.
Why?
Euthanasia solution is very very painful if it gets out of the veins. It can cause a long, painful, drawn out death. (keep in mind when administered perfectly it works wonderfully there really is absolutely no suffering). That is something to keep in mind before you call just any dog and cat vet. A specialist will have experience hitting those tiny chicken (bird) veins.

If this isn't an option then the best thing to do would probably be to have her neck broken. Maybe your husband or an understanding neighbor could do it?
A broken neck is quick and pain free and bloodless.
I'm sorry about your poor little chicken.
 
An avian vet euthanizes by injecting directly into the heart...pushing the needle through the body cavity, into the heart. They do not do it via a vein.
 
the link said it wasn't recomended for animals over two pounds. i only bring this up becuae a failed experience where you had to resort to something else would be quite distressing.
 
I think the reason for that is because imagine someone trying to euthanize a dog or cat like that at home-yikes. I don't think a thin chicken would be a problem as long as you made sure that she was contained.
 
I AGREE w/PICKLE..... This is something you don't want to prolong, or have to "do over."
 
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Cutting the throat seems to be the most painless, as any animal falls asleep from blood loss, but then it is messy. I have not had a cut on the throat but have suffered once when younger from a stab wound to the artery and yes you do fall asleep very quickly. I was lucky that someone was there to stop the bleeding until a ambulance arrived. I also suffer from allergic reactions, one of the forms of this is a rapid drop in blood pressure. The last time this happened was 3 years ago and I was in the doctors office, and after recovery told I was dead by the doctor momentarily. I passed out but could here the voices of the people working on me. Though they were very frantic I on the other hand was never so peaceful in my life. So blood loss to the brain seems like the most peaceful way to go.

When I process my chickens I will cut the throat. It is said that until the blood loss takes over that when people have been beheaded that they gasp for air. Same thing happens to chickens, I remember being gassed as a child for a operation and I felt shear terror all though it was only a second it seemed forever.
 
I just went to check on her. She's about the same, except now she has her head drawn in and her eyes closed. This is all my fault for getting attached, and I know I'm not helping by postponing things. If the CO2 would put her to sleep while I did the rest I think that would be okay. I just need to get everything ready.... Did I mention that she's my favorite chicken?
 
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I assume you are not going to cook her as she is ill. Benadryl will put her to sleep if you can get her to eat it crumpled up. I had to use it for a dog that was bitten by a snake a couple years back. And she did fall asleep even though her face was swollen. I was lucky and she survived the attack.
 

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