Venting - Cousin Passed Away


9 Years
Jan 19, 2011
Escanaba, MI
I was never particularly close to my older cousin. For most of our lives we lived half a world apart, since I was in a military family. But you know, it would have been nice to know she wasn't doing well.

I just learned, two days ago, that she was dying. And then she died, yesterday. The cause was a mitochondrial disorder, she'd been going downhill since January. JANUARY. But her ultra controlling mother told NOBODY, and my cousin was likely in no shape to contact anyone. so my family learned that SURPRISE! she is about to die!

What really ticks me off, is the fact my grandmother had no chance to say goodbye to her granddaughter. Why is this so important? My grandmother RAISED my cousin. While my Aunt wasn't unable to manage her own life (or even function) after a rough divorce (that happens when you marry a loser), my grandparents took care of my cousin. They drained their retirement savings to send her to an expensive private school, cared for her, loved her dearly. When she got ill the first time, as a teen, they busted their butts to do everything they could. My cousin recovered, but it was slow going. So you get the idea that my grandmother and my cousin were close, yes?

My grandmother got the news at the same time I did. By then, my cousin was no no shape to even talk on the phone, and is half a country away. She passed with no chance for my grandmother to get to see her. My Aunt and Grandmother DID have a falling out, but that doesn't mean she should manipulate her relationship with my cousin to get back at my grandmother. Now it is too late. Now my grandmother can never hear my cousin's voice again, have a chance to tell her that she loves her, to say goodbye. Seriously, what a cruel thing to do to the 88 year old woman.

The kicker? It wasn't even my Aunt that told us! It was a friend of my Aunt, that took the time to drive all the way to see my grandmother and break the news. My Aunt couldn't even manage a god darned PHONE CALL to let my grandmother know what was happening.

I'm angry. Angry instead of sad because I know my grandmother's sorrow has been compounded by her manipulating daughter. I feel more sorry for my grandmother than my aunt loosing her only child, because she went out of her way to cause distress. What an awful family situation, I am just glad I have other relatives that aren't so caustic.
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Fallout or not, that was super lousy of your aunt! Your poor grandmother did not deserve this. Poor woman.

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