Want a good, clean laugh?

- If 75% of all accidents occur within 5 miles of home then why not move 10 miles away?

- In a country with freedom of speech why are there phone bills?

- If a penny costs 2.3 cents to make why is it still only worth a penny?

- Why is it when you tell a person that there are 400 billion stars in the sky he'll belive you tell him a bench is wet he has to touch it?

- Why are they called apartments when they are stuck together?

- Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread.

- Why does the minute hand on school clocks always click backwards before advancing?

- Is there another word for synonym?

- If a vampire can't see himself in a mirror why is his hair always so neat?

- Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?

- Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?

- Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

- What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?

- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

And lot mor but got tired of typing.
tongue.png
 
Here are some stupid lables...
lol.png



-"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information book"--In the information book

-"Caution: the contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." --On a bottle of shampoo for dogs

-"For external use only!" --On a curling iron

-"Do not use while sleeping" --On a hair dryer

-"Do not use while sleeping or unconsience." --On a hand-held messaging device

-"This product is not intended for use as a dental drill." --On an electric rotary tool

-"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." --On a container of underarm deoderant

-"Do not use near flame, fire, or sparks." --On a fireplace lighter

-"May irritate eyes." --On a can of self defence pepper-spray

-"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" --On a coffee cup

-"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." --On a rubber band shooter

-"Warning: May contain small parts" --On a frisbee

-"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush

-"Do not use for drying pets" --On a microwave oven

-"Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." --On a muffin package

-"Do not look into laser with remaining eye" --On a laser pointer

-"Do not use as ear plugs" --On a package of silly putty

-"Fragile. Do not drop" --Poster on a Boeing 757

-"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." --On a portable stroller

-"Do not turn upside down." --On the bottom of a dessert box

-"Not for human consumption." --On a package of dice

-"May be harmfull if swallowed." --On a shipment of hammers

-"Do not attemps to stop blade with your hand" -- In the manual for a chainsaw

-"100% pure yarn." --On a sweater
 

New posts New threads Active threads

Back
Top Bottom