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OK, just got done reading and it seems my post about judgement sparked a lively conversation. I apologize if it was controversial. I does seem that a few missed my point and perhaps Rustler has looked at it through a new light and I see Ogress sees my point. Thanks for that.

I don't think Rustler or anyone else who understands what I am saying is suggesting they think what he did was not wrong. No one is saying he had a reason to do what he did. No one is saying it's ok because he was depressed or had a bad child hood. There is no excuse for what he did to those kids. It was a very sick thing to do. Yes, we have a justice system that judges and usually convicts the guilty but he hadn't gone through that yet. Yes, it is obvious he is guilty of this recent horrible act.

As far as the media staying out of it until this recent tragedy I don't believe they have. Just because we haven't heard anything on the news doesn't mean the media wasn't camped outside his house with their cameras and microphones waiting for some new take on the story, something new to report. I'm sure he couldn't go anywhere without being followed and because of all the publicity was ostracized from society. So ya, the media makes a bad situation worse. The media and society judged him before he was tried for his suspected crime of killing his wife.

I said what I did because I wanted to suggest to people that maybe we need to stop for a minute and instead of going with the flow, maybe get out of the feeding frenzy and think a little differently if even for a minute. What he did to those kids was wrong, horrible and unforgivable. Taking another life is the ultimate sin. Thinking about trying to understand how someone can take the life of their own child is uncomprehensible.

In my years of working with animals, in breaking and training horses and especially in my years working with wild animals there is something called the 'fight or flight response'. It's where you know when to stop pushing an animal into a corner to prevent them from making the choice of whether they turn and fight or they run. You need to learn where that line is and you cross or do not cross it depending on the outcome you want. The point I was trying to make was I believe the media and society crossed that line. That does not make Josh innocent. Josh made the choice. He made the wrong choice. He knew what he was doing but since no one knows everything about a person, no one knows where that line is. Why take a chance with a man who obviously was unstable. The more the media pushed him the more unstable he became. I'm just saying the media really screws things up just to have a story. Now they have created this feeding frenzy which I for one am not going to join. We need to put our energy into looking at how this could have been prevented. If it makes you feel better and helps heal you then go ahead and focus on beating him up, but remember, he is dead. He has met his Maker and paying the price. I for one am at peace that God will make it right and good will come of this and I have better things to do than bash and judge a dead person. God is the ultimate judge He will take care of it and He will take care of the innocent babes too. They are at peace. And the way this world is today, they really are in a better place.
 
Well, I am pages behind. Dont know if I will ever get caught up. Did some talking with T HI tonight. I am excited.

Blessings have truly been showered on me. I have been praying Nightly on how I should handle our financial situation. And there was the whole thing of my 2 sons playing at the Tacoma Dome. I would not be going as I did not have the $$$$$.

Well, the Good Lord provided.
I won $100 in free gas, from a drawing the local businesses were doing.
Then my dad calls me up to tell me that he has the $200 he owes me for his cell phone for the year (I had forgotten about this).
this was all great. Can you believe it, but wait.....

Some of my bills this month have decreased in their ammount..my insurance is down $100 why? not sure. But it is less...still gonna follow through on this.
Went to the clinic to pay on my medical bill...oh, they tell me, you need to either pay us in full or get this medical financial help. I qualify for the medical help...payment is now $20 a month lower.
Okay, great.

But wait....
I was in a contest at work...won $15. oh and.....
The cell phone company has been over-charging us for the past 5 years by approximately $5 a month...they will go back and refund.

And for the "Grand Finale"....
The place where we ALWAYS BUY OUR VEHICLES...called us.
We traded DH's truck in last year and got a Dodge Cumins as the Ford 350 kept breaking down (I have a F150 and love it).
We had a refund from the warranty we purchased when we originally bought the F350. I went and picked up the check. Almost $700.

Okay....I was almost in tears......
hit.gif
The Lord has provided me the ability to go to watch my boys at Regionals and at State (in Tacoma - this is why I have been talking with T HI). Plus has made our monthly financial situation much more doable.

Seriously...this has all happened within the last 30 days.
Awesome so happy for ya.
 
hugs.gif
*hugs* to you. Although I haven't been on here long I think everyone will agree with me that you are NOT in any way a failure as a parent. If you were you wouldn't care about your children, their schooling or more importantly their feelings. You care enough to doing all you can and in my book that makes you a wonderful parent. Deep breaths and hang in there.
 
Quote:

Please don't! I only know part of your situation, but, your story was like mine in another life! Although my kids did go to Catholic school for a few years and did VERY WELL it does cost money. Bullying isn't a new thing, I was bullied when I was a kid, had to be sent home, cause, I repeated something I heard someone say in the hall way!! This was in 7th grade, my whole school found out and went around pushing me and kicking me down the hall ways, they had to have an assembly and tell everyone to knock the crap off!! It was terrifying!! I know what it's like to dread going to school! I don't know the phsyc of why those things happen, but, there has to be a way to protect them, and yea, I had to ignore a lot, we ended up moving cause my dad was a construction electrician and the economy forced us to leave. Don't know what would have happened if we had stayed!!!
 
God truly answers prayer! You are blessed.

Well, I am pages behind. Dont know if I will ever get caught up. Did some talking with T HI tonight. I am excited.

Blessings have truly been showered on me. I have been praying Nightly on how I should handle our financial situation. And there was the whole thing of my 2 sons playing at the Tacoma Dome. I would not be going as I did not have the $$$$$.

Well, the Good Lord provided.
I won $100 in free gas, from a drawing the local businesses were doing.
Then my dad calls me up to tell me that he has the $200 he owes me for his cell phone for the year (I had forgotten about this).
this was all great. Can you believe it, but wait.....

Some of my bills this month have decreased in their ammount..my insurance is down $100 why? not sure. But it is less...still gonna follow through on this.
Went to the clinic to pay on my medical bill...oh, they tell me, you need to either pay us in full or get this medical financial help. I qualify for the medical help...payment is now $20 a month lower.
Okay, great.

But wait....
I was in a contest at work...won $15. oh and.....
The cell phone company has been over-charging us for the past 5 years by approximately $5 a month...they will go back and refund.

And for the "Grand Finale"....
The place where we ALWAYS BUY OUR VEHICLES...called us.
We traded DH's truck in last year and got a Dodge Cumins as the Ford 350 kept breaking down (I have a F150 and love it).
We had a refund from the warranty we purchased when we originally bought the F350. I went and picked up the check. Almost $700.

Okay....I was almost in tears......
hit.gif
The Lord has provided me the ability to go to watch my boys at Regionals and at State (in Tacoma - this is why I have been talking with T HI). Plus has made our monthly financial situation much more doable.

Seriously...this has all happened within the last 30 days.
 
OK, just got done reading and it seems my post about judgement sparked a lively conversation. I apologize if it was controversial. I does seem that a few missed my point and perhaps Rustler has looked at it through a new light and I see Ogress sees my point. Thanks for that.

I don't think Rustler or anyone else who understands what I am saying is suggesting they think what he did was not wrong. No one is saying he had a reason to do what he did. No one is saying it's ok because he was depressed or had a bad child hood. There is no excuse for what he did to those kids. It was a very sick thing to do. Yes, we have a justice system that judges and usually convicts the guilty but he hadn't gone through that yet. Yes, it is obvious he is guilty of this recent horrible act.

As far as the media staying out of it until this recent tragedy I don't believe they have. Just because we haven't heard anything on the news doesn't mean the media wasn't camped outside his house with their cameras and microphones waiting for some new take on the story, something new to report. I'm sure he couldn't go anywhere without being followed and because of all the publicity was ostracized from society. So ya, the media makes a bad situation worse. The media and society judged him before he was tried for his suspected crime of killing his wife.

I said what I did because I wanted to suggest to people that maybe we need to stop for a minute and instead of going with the flow, maybe get out of the feeding frenzy and think a little differently if even for a minute. What he did to those kids was wrong, horrible and unforgivable. Taking another life is the ultimate sin. Thinking about trying to understand how someone can take the life of their own child is uncomprehensible.

In my years of working with animals, in breaking and training horses and especially in my years working with wild animals there is something called the 'fight or flight response'. It's where you know when to stop pushing an animal into a corner to prevent them from making the choice of whether they turn and fight or they run. You need to learn where that line is and you cross or do not cross it depending on the outcome you want. The point I was trying to make was I believe the media and society crossed that line. That does not make Josh innocent. Josh made the choice. He made the wrong choice. He knew what he was doing but since no one knows everything about a person, no one knows where that line is. Why take a chance with a man who obviously was unstable. The more the media pushed him the more unstable he became. I'm just saying the media really screws things up just to have a story. Now they have created this feeding frenzy which I for one am not going to join. We need to put our energy into looking at how this could have been prevented. If it makes you feel better and helps heal you then go ahead and focus on beating him up, but remember, he is dead. He has met his Maker and paying the price. I for one am at peace that God will make it right and good will come of this and I have better things to do than bash and judge a dead person. God is the ultimate judge He will take care of it and He will take care of the innocent babes too. They are at peace. And the way this world is today, they really are in a better place.


And as I have said many time before about your posts CGG WELL said!!! x2!!!
hugs.gif
 
I'm sorry I don't know what to say to you as I feel like a failure with my kids as well. Just know you are not alone. Hugs to you.
He said that they were punished as well. I am not certain that they were suspended, but he implied that they were. The principal did admit that there are two groups of students that torment Alex intentionally on a near daily basis; the two involved yesterday, and a group of popular kids that know Alex gets really irritated by certain songs, so they hum them when they walk by. The teasing really bothers me, but I don't know what the school can do to stop it. They have awareness programs and talks with the students, and yet it goes on. They now seem to try and deal with it by having the teased students go to one of the counselors when it starts. I can't see that do a lot of good, seems to me it will lead to more teasing.

Olivia is doing no better. I think I posted in November that Olivia had good grades because of her test scores, even though she turns in little homework. Well, today she brought home another progress report, this one only for homework, and she has turned almost NOTHING in. Many if not most of these assignments I know she did, I even worked with her on them and signed them with notes to the teacher. She turned NONE of it in. Last time I threatened her with Catholic School. Today she said that is her goal because 2 girls at the school torment her every day, and she dreads going there.

Why is it that my kids have such issues with being teased? What can I do to teach them that there will be difficult people no matter where they go, and they need to move on and ignore these people?

I'm frustrated. I feel like a failure as a parent right now
 
He said that they were punished as well. I am not certain that they were suspended, but he implied that they were. The principal did admit that there are two groups of students that torment Alex intentionally on a near daily basis; the two involved yesterday, and a group of popular kids that know Alex gets really irritated by certain songs, so they hum them when they walk by. The teasing really bothers me, but I don't know what the school can do to stop it. They have awareness programs and talks with the students, and yet it goes on. They now seem to try and deal with it by having the teased students go to one of the counselors when it starts. I can't see that do a lot of good, seems to me it will lead to more teasing.

Olivia is doing no better. I think I posted in November that Olivia had good grades because of her test scores, even though she turns in little homework. Well, today she brought home another progress report, this one only for homework, and she has turned almost NOTHING in. Many if not most of these assignments I know she did, I even worked with her on them and signed them with notes to the teacher. She turned NONE of it in. Last time I threatened her with Catholic School. Today she said that is her goal because 2 girls at the school torment her every day, and she dreads going there.

Why is it that my kids have such issues with being teased? What can I do to teach them that there will be difficult people no matter where they go, and they need to move on and ignore these people?

I'm frustrated. I feel like a failure as a parent right now


Sending you compassion. You're an awesome mother. Hang in there. Get some sleep. What to do will come to you.
hugs.gif
 
I'm here all day, pretty much everyday. Need a bit of notice though - I'll need to paint the walls, shampoo the rugs, mow the lawn, trim the bushes, make some GF treats, clean the chimney, frou-frou the dog, wash chickens, manicure the goats. . .

Did I miss anything?

Yeah, the part where you come over to my place and repeat that group of projects.
 
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