Wedding Shower Rant!!!

[Baymule]

I just got an email from our church about a wedding shower. Great! I love to support the young people in our church, graduating high school, wedding showers, baby showers-to help with getting them started in life with a gift. This is a young lady that was raised here in our church. So I am more than a little peeved that the shower will not be held here at the church at all, but she wants presents!

Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this? Futhermore, today is the 3rd and the email says to make sure to bring gifts to the church by the 6th. Three days to rush out, get a present, wrap it and take it to the church so her doting parents can scoop up the loot and take it all to the shower 70 miles away. Really. The wedding shower that WE are not invited to. Really. The email was not an invitation, just a self-indulgent-you-owe-me-send-presents-and-money. Really.

And the bride is registered at a store that there isn't even one here in our town. The closest one is 48 miles away. So, leave town, drive an hour, fight Christmas crowds, buy the present, fill up car for the drive back home, waste half a day, wrap present and rush it to church to send to the ungrateful bride who will not even grace us with her presence.

I don't think so.

I looked at what they registered for. The usual towels and dishes, a doorway chin up bar, lunch box with thermos, doormat, then it gets a little greedy..........Amazon gift cards (3) $25.......(3) $50.........(3) 100... tagged with LOVE TO HAVE!! Yeah, I bet.......

I scrolled further......Wal Mart gift cards.....$$cha-ching!$$$ followed by--are you ready for this??? Taco Bell gift cards!! Gheesh. Then back to Wal Mart gift cards in this blatant dig for money under the auspices of a wedding shower. How crass. Kept scrolling......ending with gift cards from Chili's, Applebees and Subway. Are we supposed to "gift" them with an evening out? I sure would like to have an evening out.........

I am stunned that we are expected to spend our time and money on this girl, but we are not worth her precious time to actually have the shower here, here in the church she was raised in, surrounded by people who watched her grow up. Nope. Just send presents. And don't forget the gift cards.

Selfishness is ugly and should not be rewarded.

 

[Granny Hatchet]

i agree, for church sake buy her a congrats card tell her you hope she had a nice wedding wish you could of been there.

 

[Cluky]

i vote for a nice congrats card. and done!!! that does sound extremely greedy

 

[enola]

WOW! All I can say........... is WOW!

It is no wonder though, young folks are not raised to use manners any more.

 

[newfoundland]

One thing springs to mind. If this girl was raised in the Church, what brand of Christianity is it that has not succeeded in teaching her that it is better to give than to receive??

 

[Granny Hatchet]

One thing springs to mind. If this girl was raised in the Church, what brand of Christianity is it that has not succeeded in teaching her that it is better to give than to receive??

cant win them all

 

[punk-a-doodle]

No invitation offered? That is a first. That said, the tone of the actual email might alter my personal feelings on the matter. Announcing a life event and saying "for those interested in sending congrats/gifts" is much different to me than something like "church members should bring gifts".

I personally see any of the below options as acceptable, though favor the third option:
-provide no gift or card in silent protest
-provide a happy congrats card and then let the matter drop entirely (I'm not big on public congrats accompanied by private gossip, etc)
-address the issue head-on by saying something to the parents or girl such as, "I feel that the church members should have been invited to an event they were asked to buy presents for. I will not be providing a gift for this reason, but do wish your daughter the best"

 

[IttyBiddyRedHen]

Wow. Just a 2nd WOW. If it was a general email sent to all of the church members.......I would just ignore it. It is definitely greedy, and tacky. All "Gimme, gimme, gimme....!!" If they can't personally invite church members to a shower, it is just plain rude to send an email begging for gifts. You are in no way obligated to send them anything. I wouldn't.

 

[cassie]

The answer to this "invitation" is very simple. Just ignore it. At the most, the very most, send a card. Period.

 

[Baymule]

I am going to totally ignore this. I will not say anything to either her or her parents, if they don't have any more manners or class than this, it is not my place to teach them.

Newfoundland, it is not related to any brand of Christianity, for we are all sinners and fall short of the Glory of God. There is no one group of people who will agree and get along all the time 100%, no matter who they are, Christian or not. Church is not a warehouse for the perfect, it is a hospital for the sinner. I just thought this was extremely tacky and not wanting to offend the bride and family, I came here to let off steam. I am far from perfect myself, but at least people were invited to my shower.