Two days ago, it was pretty nasty....regarding to a good friend of ours, about online relationships and they need to meet together after being online/phone tags over four years, never personally met each other, blah blah blah. I suggested to her to call her "BF" to meet together, he can fly in from Boston to IL for the weekend "getting to know you" kind of thing. It never happened. Then the breaking point was she "is engaged to be engaged". He was going to give her a "promise" ring, not an engagement ring. And all the excited riff raff going on. Mother radar in me went off and I thought is she off her rocker???? I never heard of a term "is engaged to be engaged" and a promise ring but no real communication in person to see if they can see the "REAL" person face to face. She turned 21 a few months ago and know this guy over four years ago online dating website.
I expressed my opinions on that matter which I didn't think she is actually engaged, not letting her parents know the real going ons, etc. and a promise ring can be a promise of friendship, promise to be faithful but that is something you give to a dear friend, not a person whom you want to marry.
I digress........more stories, up and downs, etc. Marriage is HARD work but it has its rewards.
Now I am getting emails either they are harassing or threats from her friends.....
"You better back off girl! She is my friend, not yours! Call yourself a friend??!! If I see you again, I will throw s*** at you and s*** will fly!" That one does not bother me, I quoted to her, make sure it hits the garden, because I need some!
She didn't think it was funny.
The other two.......
"When I see you again, I am coming after you!"
"You don't know her, and if I see you, I am going to really "b****-slap you! I mean it!"
I forward these emails to a cop friend of ours, and he said he is not liking it at all. The first one, he would not get worked up about it....just do make sure it does go into the garden. If she did throw crap on me, then it would be considered assault and battery and having those emails in his computer, he can print it out for evidence.
The other two, he said, he would take it very seriously.....told me to watch my back at this town at this event. He is not telling me a whole lot except he is bringing it to the attention of his supervisor next week. "They are not playing with a full deck with these threats and what's worse, killing or seriously injuring a mother, who would want your daughter to be motherless or a mother that can not help her at the time of her need????" Internet threats are taken very seriously and sometimes it may not be anything than being so angry or they will carry out the acts. He also suggested if I ever get any more threatening emails, no matter how trivial it looks or sounds, they want it. Plus with the BF's record, I also know that he is heavily tattooed and piercings all over and a very questional past that he did commit crimes. Cop friend is looking into that as well to make sure he is not an internet predator or on the "wanted" list.
Hubby is not happy about this at all but level head prevails.
Okay folks, "engaged to be engaged", I may be old but the simple "I am engaged" would simply things easily. I may be an old fart that needs to learn "teenager" word lingo so can one be "engaged to be engaged??? or something similar to that??? What does it mean??? Are they actually engaged? He didn't ask her parent's permission to marry nor her parents know.
What is a promise ring, really? To me, back in my days, it was given to high school or very good close friends, male or female or both, to promise each other the friendship, the bond, and stand by your partner but it does not mean "marriage" or to be bethrothed.
Engagement rings are the promise of marriage, the expectation of marriage, planning of marriage with the wedding plans taken in place, finding date of marriage and all the good stuff in there. Mapping out their future as well.
Your opinions, educational suggestions or lectures would be welcome for this old fart!
I want to know what teenagers or early 20's people do for marriages, online dating rules, etc.
I did block her from my FB......man, she was very upset, kept IM, emails and FB messages into me saying she does not control what her friends are saying. And still wants my friendship and she knows that it is just merely an opinion. Ten minutes later, she went back to tell her friends that she is engaged and making plans of weddings and so forth.
I expressed my opinions on that matter which I didn't think she is actually engaged, not letting her parents know the real going ons, etc. and a promise ring can be a promise of friendship, promise to be faithful but that is something you give to a dear friend, not a person whom you want to marry.
I digress........more stories, up and downs, etc. Marriage is HARD work but it has its rewards.
Now I am getting emails either they are harassing or threats from her friends.....
"You better back off girl! She is my friend, not yours! Call yourself a friend??!! If I see you again, I will throw s*** at you and s*** will fly!" That one does not bother me, I quoted to her, make sure it hits the garden, because I need some!
The other two.......
"When I see you again, I am coming after you!"
"You don't know her, and if I see you, I am going to really "b****-slap you! I mean it!"
I forward these emails to a cop friend of ours, and he said he is not liking it at all. The first one, he would not get worked up about it....just do make sure it does go into the garden. If she did throw crap on me, then it would be considered assault and battery and having those emails in his computer, he can print it out for evidence.
The other two, he said, he would take it very seriously.....told me to watch my back at this town at this event. He is not telling me a whole lot except he is bringing it to the attention of his supervisor next week. "They are not playing with a full deck with these threats and what's worse, killing or seriously injuring a mother, who would want your daughter to be motherless or a mother that can not help her at the time of her need????" Internet threats are taken very seriously and sometimes it may not be anything than being so angry or they will carry out the acts. He also suggested if I ever get any more threatening emails, no matter how trivial it looks or sounds, they want it. Plus with the BF's record, I also know that he is heavily tattooed and piercings all over and a very questional past that he did commit crimes. Cop friend is looking into that as well to make sure he is not an internet predator or on the "wanted" list.
Hubby is not happy about this at all but level head prevails.
Okay folks, "engaged to be engaged", I may be old but the simple "I am engaged" would simply things easily. I may be an old fart that needs to learn "teenager" word lingo so can one be "engaged to be engaged??? or something similar to that??? What does it mean??? Are they actually engaged? He didn't ask her parent's permission to marry nor her parents know.
What is a promise ring, really? To me, back in my days, it was given to high school or very good close friends, male or female or both, to promise each other the friendship, the bond, and stand by your partner but it does not mean "marriage" or to be bethrothed.
Engagement rings are the promise of marriage, the expectation of marriage, planning of marriage with the wedding plans taken in place, finding date of marriage and all the good stuff in there. Mapping out their future as well.
Your opinions, educational suggestions or lectures would be welcome for this old fart!
I did block her from my FB......man, she was very upset, kept IM, emails and FB messages into me saying she does not control what her friends are saying. And still wants my friendship and she knows that it is just merely an opinion. Ten minutes later, she went back to tell her friends that she is engaged and making plans of weddings and so forth.
