I simply have no words. Just hugs.Today I had to say goodbye to Eris.
I did everything I could, but today she couldn't even leave the coop. She couldn't stand up or even open her eyes. She breathed with her beak open and I could see this thick drool in her mouth... I knew what was happening and I wanted it to be as quick as possible, but I couldn't find a vet to accelerate the process on a Sunday and I could never do it myself.
So I took her out of the coop and held her in my arms. I petted her and kept her warm against my chest. After a few minutes, she made a noise, a little cry that I read as "put me down, I'm ready to go". (Or perhaps it meant "I'm in pain", but I don't like to think about that).
I let her rest in the sun one last time, and with her last strength, she tried to grab my finger as she passed away.
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I'm devastated. I wish I hadn't witnessed this. Death is a terrible process, even when it happens relatively quickly. I wish she would've died in her sleep, like Bianca and Mabelo did. But Eris "waited" for me instead, and I couldn't leave her alone.
Well, she was not actually alone.
Her sister, Callia, was there for her all the time. Even after she passed, Callia sat next to her body, and when we finally buried Eris, she spent a long while around her grave.
I need her to be strong, as she will live alone now. I can't get more birds, or rehome her, as she's suspected to be an IBV and/or MDV carrier. (There's definitely something wrong here, I've lost 6 chickens in 3 years, two of them in the last week. The vets advised me against letting her be around new birds).
I need to be strong, too. Callia is my last hen and I'm terrified of becoming "chickenless". It feels like losing a part of yourself...
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