I'm looking for objective opinions on an issue my mom is having with my grandmother (her mom). My mom wants to know what you think of these following scenarios: Scenario 1: My mom and grandmother are in a car riding home and my grandmother starts talking about a subject that my mom has, on several occasions, told my grandma she does NOT want to discuss because it upsets my mom greatly.(My mom had to sell some horses due to her health and it has broken her heart). Several times my mom tried to shut the conversation down since she didn't want to become upset and my grandma said that she had every right to talk about it. At this point my mom is beginning to have a full fledged panic attack with difficulty breathing, chest pain and shaking very badly. After my grandmother realized she had my mom is such a state of distress, she tried to soothe my mother by bringing up about how her dogs killed her cat in the back lawn (one of the most traumatic and distressing events she has experienced)!!!! After this event my mother refuses to get into a car with my grandmother and has tried to craftily avoid her to avoid a big dramatic, dysfunctional family blowout. Well, my grandmother keeps stopping by to "visit".... Scenario 2: Today my grandmother comes over to our house unannounced for a "visit" which is irritating because my mom is busy working and my grandmother expects her to drop everything to entertain her. During the visit my grandmother brought up subjects that my mom has asked her not to speak about. She brushed them off and ignored them until this conversation.... Grandma: "Today's the anniversary of the Titanic". Mom: "Yup" Grandma: "And how about all those people that died in that tragic Italian Cruise ship accident?" Mom: "I don't want to talk about death and dying." Grandma: "Your grandmother died three years ago." Mom: "Okay, it's time for you to go, I've got things to do." What do you make of somebody that once you say "Please don't talk about horrifying things" comes up with even more tragic and traumatic subject matter??? What do you do and how do you respond?? My mom is a very sensitive person that becomes easily stressed so she avoids drama and depressing and unnecessary subject matter. My grandmother however, thrives off a misfortune and chaos (she actually enjoys funerals because she likes seeing people upset and crying). My question is what motive does she have to upset my mom because she comes over to our house and talks to my mom, she won't talk to me because I set her straight and I'm not an easy opponent (she does like to fight). There's a lot more but I don't know how to write it all down so that it makes sense. Please help BYC!