Please be nice, I am not trying to offend anyone... Okay, this young boy was visiting us one day and I guess he has ADD. He has all kinds of trouble in school with the teachers and with his mom. He was talking about how hard it was to multiply by 9. So I started showing him the easy way that I learned and before I can get to 9x3 he is chasing the dog! So I tell him if he isn't interested in learning, then I am not interested in teaching him. Then he gets all obsessed with getting me to teach him. Why can't he learn at school? I am just a SAHM, not a teacher. It just seems like a lot of these kids just want or need attention. And maybe self-discipline? It is almost like he uses it as an excuse. I told him I didn't care what he had, and he didn't need to act like that. He tried a couple more times, then stopped. The next day my husband finds out that he stole something from him and sold it to someone else we know for $100. We fixed that and he hasn't been here since. My youngest brother (not the same boy) has ADD pretty bad, but my mother is different to him. She was strict with me. But I have always been pretty mellow and so is my other brother.
I think it's a bit of both. OK, if your kiddo is diagnosed ADD, fine. But that shouldn't be a free pass to cause trouble, steal, etc. There should be consequences and rules for them just like everyone else. The difference comes in the level of patience and understanding of the actions. There are certain battles you pick with kids in order to win the war (so to speak). So you need to clean your room in 30 minutes while your brother gets an hour. It's not that he doesn't have to clean it, but he has to clean it with the understanding that it will take him longer because he's more apt to be distracted and need redirection towards cleaning. This is not an easy task for a parent... but there are worse things.
I know so many people that make excuses.. one of my good friends has a son that has ADHD.. apparently it is something different.. he yells at her all the time wont do what he is asked and is spoiled rotten.. and her excuse is he has ADHD.. I dont know but everyone no matter what cards they have been delt has to learn to deal with life.. and treating people badly isnt the way.. and using ADD or ADHD as a crutch isnt the right way either..
My best friends' son has ADHD. He is 27 years old now and knows how to deal with himself. She always had to deal with him differently than the other kids, but deal with him she did!!!!
I think a diet high in refined carbohydrates and sugars (and low in essential fatty acids) causes and or exacerbates add and adhd. The brains of these sugar-hyped kids are on rapid fire and they couldn't pay attention if their life depended on it. That being said, there are people who use that condition as an excuse not to parent.
Every family has difficult things to deal with at one time or another. I really hesitate to judge situations that I have not had to deal with myself. Adhd is a very real disability and many times is associated with other learning disibilities as well. My daughter has her masters in special education and she say's that most of these kids are misunderstood by most people who have not had to deal with something like this. These kids do not intentionally upset others it is just a part of their disibility and it takes good teachers and parents to help them through growing up. They need alot of structure in their lives. I would hope that instead of judging the parents we would extend love and grace to them. The job they have been called to do with these children is not an easy one.
I don't eat anything with artificial colors, artificial flavors or preservatives nor do I give any of these to my children. If they accidently eat any of these things it causes severe add symptoms. I homeschool and if they eat any of these things I see a big difference in their ability to learn. I usually end up re- teaching what ever we covered at that time. It is more difficult to discipline them also. Things just don't sink in. I still hold them accountable for their actions.
Quote:Very Well Said! ADHD is actually a form of mild mental retardation...in the REAL cases, that is...and there are often symptoms of other diabilites involved. Yes, there are kids out there that are dx'd ADHD and it is more psychological than organic in it's origions...but people who are not VERY familiar with it cannot judge what the origions of it are in an individual child. Parents of ADHD children have a very difficult time understanding it and reacting properly to it...after all parents are not psychologists so each finds a way of dealing with it the best way they know how in thier own family...what works for them. Some never find anything that works at all...but they do thier best, and that is all we can expect.
Well said. I have raised 5 children and still have an 11 year old at home. Every child is a challenge for us as no 2 are the same. The things our children need most from us is love, acceptance, and very clear boundries. Those boundries and expectations may be different for each child, based on their God given abilities. 4 of my children had no trouble in school 2 of them did (auditory prcessing, visual problems with tracking ). Some of my children came home with straight A's and some with C's and D's. They were all rewarded according to their individual abilities. Comparing one child to another is not fair nor is it loving. The child that one of you mentioned that would scream and get out of control may have something else going on with him that hasn't been diagnosed yet. IM sure it is a real challenge for his parents. But please remember that they love that child no less because he has some struggles. Unconditional love is what we are to give our children. As for a child that steals, they don't have to have ADHD to steal from other people. I taught my children right from wrong never the less one of my son's was caught shoplifting at 14. There was alot of peer pressure and he clearly made a bad choice and he paid the price for it. Our children in this society have a very tough go of it sometimes. I think it is much worse than when I was a young person. They will make mistakes along the way but the most important thing is that they learn from them. If I see a troubled child I try my best to come along side of them and give them attention and love. i would hope that , that's what someone would do for my child if he or she was in a bad spot.
