What to do when your child just won't eat?

[6chickens in St. Charles]

Quote:
Maybe the children don't seek power, so much as seeking their parents' approval. Perhaps they're just doing what they're expected to do.

Then they behave AS EXPECTED with the relatives, doing as the relatives do, when seperated from their usual environment, ie, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"

If they're taught to approach food in a particular way, if that's what is expected in their family, they will try their best to fulfill their household's mealtime itinerary. See? The kids are just trying to grow up, doing what they need to do, to survive, because we humans are just like any other animal in that way: we learn how to be, who we are, what we do from our home environment. Your story of two families illustrates that very well!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
It really sounds like your "small amounts" are actually huge for a not yet 4 year old. Try cutting those portions by half, and perhaps try either alternating between the acceptable choices (your selection, not hers) or asking whether she wants carrots or apples one time, cheese or yogurt another. If she says both, give her tiny amounts of each: 1/4 an apple and 2 carrot sticks, or a tablespoon of yogurt and one slice of cheese with a cracker. Having a snack tray is okay, but she should not be eating directly of it, but rather taking the snack from the tray, which then goes back into the refrigerator. If she wants more later, that is okay.

Any time that others are eating with her, no toys at the table, no TV or videos, no books. If she is eating by herself, a book might be okay. However, unless the snack is messy, there is no reason she needs to sit at the table while eating.

edited to add: freeze the turkey and have it in a a couple of weeks when she (and probably the rest of y'all) are not so tired of monotony.

 

[vfem]

Quote:
It really sounds like your "small amounts" are actually huge for a not yet 4 year old. Try cutting those portions by half, and perhaps try either alternating between the acceptable choices (your selection, not hers) or asking whether she wants carrots or apples one time, cheese or yogurt another. If she says both, give her tiny amounts of each: 1/4 an apple and 2 carrot sticks, or a tablespoon of yogurt and one slice of cheese with a cracker. Having a snack tray is okay, but she should not be eating directly of it, but rather taking the snack from the tray, which then goes back into the refrigerator. If she wants more later, that is okay.

Any time that others are eating with her, no toys at the table, no TV or videos, no books. If she is eating by herself, a book might be okay. However, unless the snack is messy, there is no reason she needs to sit at the table while eating.

edited to add: freeze the turkey and have it in a a couple of weeks when she (and probably the rest of y'all) are not so tired of monotony.

Thanks...

I would freeze the left over turkey, but as I can't afford to goto the grocery store until Monday next week. We're struggling. I have bread I baked in the oven now so we have stuff for sandwiches. Good thing I got lots of PB & J! LOL

But seriously... I never expect her to finish anything and everything I give her. The problem is she may only eat one carrot stick, and start playing with #2 and nothing else happens! I think if she ate 1/2 of something, that's a success. We had an issue at luck today. She was whining she was sooooooooo hungry (the drama act is quite funny actually). So I have her some carrot sticks and some turkey... she asked for ranch dip as her choice and so she was thrilled to sit and eat. 4 carrot sticks and she just sat until the beeper went off. Told me she wasn't hungry anymore.... "save this for dinner mom...I'm fine." WOW? Seriously?

If you listened to her 'talk' you wouldn't think she was 4... but she can throw a 3 1/2 year old tantrum with the BEST of 'em! LOL

 

[vfem]

6chickens in St. Charles :

Quote:
Maybe the children don't seek power, so much as seeking their parents' approval. Perhaps they're just doing what they're expected to do.

Then they behave AS EXPECTED with the relatives, doing as the relatives do, when seperated from their usual environment, ie, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"

If they're taught to approach food in a particular way, if that's what is expected in their family, they will try their best to fulfill their household's mealtime itinerary. See? The kids are just trying to grow up, doing what they need to do, to survive, because we humans are just like any other animal in that way: we learn how to be, who we are, what we do from our home environment. Your story of two families illustrates that very well!

I think its a little of everything at this age.

Breaking it down simply... I think young kids are just learning ALL the different responses to all their actions. You know? Like in their heads they are thinking "Yesterday I threw this fork and mama spanked me. Today, I will throw this spoon and see what she does?"

So simple... but its a fun experiment I guess!

P.s. - My daughter LOVES sushi! ...and if you ask her fav veggies are broccoli & mushrooms!​

 

[arabianequine]

Quote:
At this point in her life, any regular snack should be nutritious. Only rarely should junk food with little to no nutritional value be given or available. This would include candy, or super-sugery cookies or things like twinkies or ding dongs (yeech!). Chips should not be frequent, either.

Snacks should be things like fruit or veggies, oatmeal cookies (or other healthy ones), yogurt, peanut butter or cheese and crackers, etc.

I meant whatever is sweet....rasins, applesauce, oatmeal cookies etc. or whatever she likes better. Maybe she is not fond of sweeter tasting things anyways. My husbands younger daughter was not a sweets person still not at 18. If she has cake or brownie no frosting.

 

[EweSheep]

I had to laugh but I dont have that much power struggle with my dd not eating. She will eat when she is hungry enough.

Hubby on the other hand, is not consisent and rather keep telling to eat, dont waste food. Then I tell him to knock it off and let her eat if she wants to. Once we are done, whether dd is not done, we get up from the table. Sometimes she would protest us to sit back down which we did at first and she rather talk and not eat or finish her supper. Once I got the gist of what she was doing, I put a stop to it. I enforce good table manners too!

lately she has not eaten much so I am assuming that she is going thru a growth spurt that their legs or body hurts. No use in forcing in feeding them if they feel that way.

Once in a while, when she has a bad day, and being in a power mood, if she does not eat, fine, the chickens will eat it and I will pull her plate. She would yell NO, I'm not having them eating MY food!

 

[mom'sfolly]

I have one that is a grazer by preference. At four he would eat pretty much all day long, very small quantities of healthy food. A single PB & J would be at least two meals/snacks and an apple would be two meals/snacks. He just had a small stomach, small appetite, fast metabolism and far too much to do to sit and eat. It was sometimes annoying, but it worked. He ate what everyone else did, just over a longer period of time. The food was eaten at the table, and at pretty regular times as well.

The other thing that would happen with this child is he would drink his milk, then be too full to eat. Limiting milk to half a cup until he ate helped. Even now, if he drinks too much, even water, he can't eat.

I agree that this shouldn't become a contest of wills. The timer method may work, but smaller quantities of food make work as well. Limiting liquids might help too. When they are hungry they will eat.

The other issue I had when my children were that age is that when they would go through a growth spurt they would eat huge amounts of food. When the growth spurt was over they would eat next to nothing. It was hard to not make them eat like they had when they were growing.

I don't think allowing your child to play at the table for four hours is good; but I really disagree with the folks who said "time the food, if they don't eat it, serve it to them again until they do". My parents followed this method, I could out stubborn them every time. I also still threw up the foods that bothered me. If I didn't eat, it was usually a texture issue, that didn't go away simply because the meal was reserved. As an adult, my parents clean plate policy has helped me become overweight. I never learned to listen to what my body was saying about food.

 

[Moabite]

My son used to be just like the daughter mentioned in the beginning post. He has finally begun to eat, and GROW. He went to bed many nights without eating a bite. I finally started giving him very small portions and I will count him if he wasn't eating. God forbid what might happen if I get to three! It is very difficult, but hang in there.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
It really sounds like your "small amounts" are actually huge for a not yet 4 year old. Try cutting those portions by half, and perhaps try either alternating between the acceptable choices (your selection, not hers) or asking whether she wants carrots or apples one time, cheese or yogurt another. If she says both, give her tiny amounts of each: 1/4 an apple and 2 carrot sticks, or a tablespoon of yogurt and one slice of cheese with a cracker. Having a snack tray is okay, but she should not be eating directly of it, but rather taking the snack from the tray, which then goes back into the refrigerator. If she wants more later, that is okay.

Any time that others are eating with her, no toys at the table, no TV or videos, no books. If she is eating by herself, a book might be okay. However, unless the snack is messy, there is no reason she needs to sit at the table while eating.

edited to add: freeze the turkey and have it in a a couple of weeks when she (and probably the rest of y'all) are not so tired of monotony.

Thanks...

I would freeze the left over turkey, but as I can't afford to goto the grocery store until Monday next week. We're struggling. I have bread I baked in the oven now so we have stuff for sandwiches. Good thing I got lots of PB & J! LOL

But seriously... I never expect her to finish anything and everything I give her. The problem is she may only eat one carrot stick, and start playing with #2 and nothing else happens! I think if she ate 1/2 of something, that's a success. We had an issue at luck today. She was whining she was sooooooooo hungry (the drama act is quite funny actually). So I have her some carrot sticks and some turkey... she asked for ranch dip as her choice and so she was thrilled to sit and eat. 4 carrot sticks and she just sat until the beeper went off. Told me she wasn't hungry anymore.... "save this for dinner mom...I'm fine." WOW? Seriously?

If you listened to her 'talk' you wouldn't think she was 4... but she can throw a 3 1/2 year old tantrum with the BEST of 'em! LOL

At this point I would think it is more important to have her finish and maybe ask for 2nds than to have an excess left on her plate. For one thing, it shows her that she CAN finish, and for another, that there is more if she is still hungry. Maybe try fixing turkey enchiladas or making some into turkey salad; basically mix up the ways it is prepared.

 

[arabianequine]

Do you have a mini chopper or food processor would work? We grind up turkey, chicken, mix w/ a bit of mayo to make a salad salt and pepper everyone likes it here. You can put cheese on it and have cold or grill it like a grilled cheese.