What to do with an unsupportive husband... chicken tractor plans

[chickbea]

As I said above, if someone loves you, they want to see you happy. My husband would never have any animals if it weren't for me (his attitude is that they don't live long enough - you fall in love with them and then they die - ?), but he knows I can't live without fur and feathers in my life, so he indulges my obsessions with good humor.
I'm lucky and I know I am (although I do complain about my hubby from time to time...

).

 

[Arklady]

These are the champions of my life!

My best friend my eldest son Phil:
http://www.pix8.net/pro/pic.php?u=21417bKEsK&i=1046685

Super supporter I couldn't do this with out her Etta:
http://www.pix8.net/pro/pic.php?u=21417bKEsK&i=1046701

Moral Officer Stuart: *old pic*
http://www.pix8.net/pro/pic.php?u=21417bKEsK&i=1046697

These guys keep me sane. I do not know what I would do without them. I would have a sad life to say the least.

I can't talk about this anymore cause I can't hold it together. Just thought to show ya all, the loves of my life.

Arklady

 

[schmoo]

Arklady you need not reply, but I just had to tell you about my mom. My mom was in basically the same situation you described (not with my dad, but stepfather) everything was about HIM. Anything she said or did he just waited for her to fail. If he wanted to do something the world revovled around it. ALL him him him.

It ruined her self confidence and she pondered divorce for years. Last September she finally had enough. They owned a huge house on a lake and had some land, but my mom just said, "let him have it" as long as I'm away from him I'll feel better.
My sister and I helped her move into a cute little house and she is happier than I've seen her be in years. It was rough at first, she hasn't been alone in years, but she says no matter how lonley it seems sometimes, its alot better than feeling ALONE while someone is actually there.

I keep telling my mom to get a pet, but now she said it feels pretty good only having to worry about HER for once

 

[Chirpy]

I've been very busy so I'm just seeing this post and wanted to add my two cents worth.

We moved to the country (40 acres) almost six years ago. I wanted chickens from the first spring being here but I knew that we needed a chicken house and run built like Fort Knox with the wildlife we have around here. We don't have extra cash laying around so I knew it would be awhile before we could build the proper enclosure. Each year I would sigh and say, "maybe next year..." and hope.

My husband is absolutely wonderful ... God has truly blessed me with him and our very special children. But ... he has never wanted chickens so he hasn't had them on our "wants" list which means they weren't likely to happen.

Well, this spring I had a girlfriend who was selling her house and offered me her chicken house for FREE!! We just had to move it here. I asked my hubby about it and he said, "Ok, I'll take a look." He went and said we could move it here so I could go ahead and get my chicks! Only you here can understand the extreme excitement I felt going to get my chicks the next day.

Well, a few days later my girlfriend said that they made a mistake. We couldn't have the chicken coop ... it was just one of those things in life, they needed to keep it to sell with their house. Ok ... so here I am with little chicks in the living room in a box and no future chicken house.

To make a very long story longer, oh wait that's not right; to make a very long story shorter... My husband jumped in and started to build me a chicken house and run. After putting a couple of weeks into it we both decided that it was just to much money to be putting into chickens so we decided to turn that building into a much needed storage shed. During the entire time he was building it he would have a day now and then where he would come in and say, "That's it ... I don't care what you do with them but the chickens have to go. This is costing us to much money." I would "love" him, let him know that I would do what he wanted and listen and agree and by the next morning he would always agree to let them stay a while longer.

Well, we started a new chicken coop (which still isn't finished but the chickens are in it) and my husband continued to occasionally gripe about this whole thing.

Well, about two weeks ago I found him standing looking out the window in deep thought. I asked him what he was thinking about and he said, "If we turn the roof on the chicken house one turn we can add onto it and more than double the size for more chickens next year!"

Completely floored me ... he's getting attached!!!!!

He's since then mentioned a couple of things he wants to do to make it better for them.

I just wanted to share what a quiet love and "honoring" my husband has done for me. I get to keep my chickens!

 

[Queen of the Lilliputians]

I also have to say that the chickens themselves have been their own biggest advocate here. Yesterday dh (who, if you remember, had to be convinced to agree to 3) and I were sitting outside talking after his workday. We were talking about our girls, and some of the funny stuff they do. Well, somehow we happened to get on the subject of the local fair, and I said I couldn't wait.. but that he would be upset. He asked why, and I told him it was because they have chickens there and lots of CHICKS FOR SALE, all different kinds. Not only did he NOT get upset, he said he was thinking that a couple of more would be ok, but he was thinking no more than 18. I said actually.. I was thinking 15! LOL! The entire conversation was pretty funny. He also told me he feels guilty visiting them in the early morning (5:30) because he can't let them outside yet, so he just talks to them through their window.

They've done most of their work just by being their adorable, funny selves. I get to just sit back and watch the transformation

. He actually helped his boss do some haying today and LIKED IT.

-Meghan

 

[ChickaChickaBoomBoom]

Well, as the DH in our house, I didn't realize I had a say! LOL!

Actually, though, it is I who has gotten on the chicken bandwagon, kind of backing into it over the past several months. I've found with my DW that if she says something is a good idea - or at least acceptable - it changes the dynamic completely (I think this is the reverse of many couples, but I digress).

At this point, the coop/run are essentially complete, and I am ready to get my two hens (that's code for "three"). I've always liked the idea of letting them run around our yard loose at times with the bunnies, but figured she'd have a concern about it. Well, last night we were out looking at the coop/run and she asked if I was going to let them be free at all. I said that I wasn't planning on it, at least initially, but she said she wanted them to be able to interact with the rabbits. Go figure.

Even funnier, she commented that she always thought I was planning on getting "a bunch" of chickens, not two (remember, that means "three"). She might as well have flashed a big green light in my face.

In the end, patience, pleasant attitude, realistic expectations, and a small dash of truth-stretching will usually get you what you want.

Now we'll see how the neighbors feel about it.

-Dave

 

[Kerr]

LOL!

The comment made by chickbea about "hubby v.s his tools"
IS MY HUSBAND!!!!!
He is a contractor and a perfectionist..........
If I ever need something done around the house all I have
to do is act really serious , ask him where his hammer is and......

like a miracle.....voila.....poof - there it is.....project complete w/o me even picking up a tool

More like he'd be mortified if I attempted to build anything cuz he knows what it would look like

He came home to a Hen and 6 chicks and said
"oh , (big pause)..... where did u get those from?"
He saw the big smile on my face and that was good enough I guess..... he never asked me to take them back

and now....for his getaway space - he goes into the back field - the chickens follow him - he naps in the grass
and they walk all over him. He'd never admit that there are his buddies but he sure hangs out with them an awful lot

 

[JillsChicks]

It is interesting to read the replies that my initial post brought about. One certainly sees telling dynamics in human relationships through owning and caring for animals. I wonder what it was like for Adam and Eve?

"Oh, Adam, I'd love to corral a few of those love birds, peacocks and chickens so I could enjoy them more and have some eggs."

"Eve, this is a free-ranging Garden. I'm charged with their care, so let's let them alone as they are."

"Do you mean you won't build me a coop? Not even a little pen or tractor?"

"I didn't say that, Eve. I just think God's set-up is pretty perfect..."

"What about the round pen and riding arena and barn and pastures you built for the horses, Adam? That got done pretty quickly..."

"Well, I have to teach them to respect me and listen to my aides and to partner with me well."

"Oh, I see... "

"Plus I'm really seeing a need for a lookout tower, maybe ziggurat style, lotsa bricks, really collosal something really big - it'll take me some time, Eve."

What will convince him to build me that coop? Maybe a little feminine persuasion...

Hmmm, honey, you know what? I've noticed that the fruit of that tree really attracts the hens and it gives me a special thrill too - I suppose I can just visit with them there; no need to expend energy building that little coop for me... Let's just snuggle a bit in its shade. See, chickens are so sweet. And so are you, Adam. Oh, how strong and virile you look lying there among the birds, honey. Let's try a little of this fruit for ourselves. I think it'll really enhance our "relationship..."

If only I had written Genesis, the truth about the chickens would have been in there!

Ann

 

[Jimagination]

Oh, I know exactly how you feel. My husband was never behind me on this one, but has dealt with it and he gets a kick out of watching the chickens. He is also quite proud of his coop he built. I hear about how I got "YOUR" chickens on a regular basis when it ever there is any disagreement, but I know he likes them secretly! Now if I can just get him to agree to a guinea or atleast ignore it when I get a couple.!

 

[DuckLady]

All I can say is that I respect my husband and he respects me. We both have our hobbies and we also have things we like to do together.
And most important, my name is on the title to the house as much as his is. As far as I am concerned I am entitled to his support when something is important to me and he is entitled to mine in same situation. We don't have a "leader" in our house, we work together. I refuse to "obey" someone. I prefer to discuss and decide.
Our blessing is that we are a good team, we enjoy each other and we help each other acheive goals.

But, if my husband didn't support my love for animals, then fine. I would have them anyway. I can use a saw and hammer and nails to build a coop or whatever. The animals are important to me. And it goes both ways, by the way.