What's the funniest thing you've ever seen or heard?

[eggcited2]

I found this to be really cute when I was watching it:

I had let the chicks out into a pen in our back yard. The pen is 4x4 and 4' tall. The spacing between the wire was about an inch to inch & a half. One of my chicks found out she could get between the wire. She would run out from one side of the pen (square in shape), run around the corner of the pen, and back in on the other side. She ran this circle over and over. No other chicks following her, and never deviating from the path/circle she was doing. Looked like a little kid on a play ground that runs around and around in the same circle. over and over and over and over....................................................................


Now here is something else:

A teenage son comes to his mom and tells her he wants a car. His mom tells him he can have one *if* he does three things; cut his hair, go to church and read his bible. A few months later he comes to his mom and asks her about the car. She says, "Well, you have been going to church and you did start reading your bible. However, you have not got your hair cut". The son tells her, "Jesus and His disciples had long hair". His mother replies, "Yes, and they walked every where."

 

[sianara]

Years ago my sisters family had chickens and it was her 4 year old sons job to gather eggs. The problem was they had a banty rooster that was very mean and son was afraid to go in the coop to gather eggs. So in the ingenuity of a 4 year old he brought a stick with him one time and was ready when the rooster attacked.

Fast forward to him bringing the eggs into the house and he tells my sister "I kilt the wooster Mom." She said "WHAT??? YOU KILLED THE ROOSTER??!!! What happened?" She runs to the window and sees the rooster struggling to a sitting position slowly and dazedly but eventually he gets up, shakes himself off and goes about his business (son doesn't see this).

Later on dad comes home and asks him (with a hidden smile) "How many times did you hit the rooster son?" and son says "I hit him till him not move no more!".

(That son is now 20 and that's still one of my favorite chicken stories

)

eta: Please no comments about a four year old being sent to gather eggs with a mean rooster in residence. It's definitely not what I would have done myself EVER and thankfully it had a safe ending. Shortly after they got rid of the rooster.

 

[shellz131]

 

[DragonEggs]

I was eating dinner with my BF's family (Me, him, his 2 brothers, sister, mom and dad) I don't remember what we were talking about but my BF sitting beside me commented on the conversations saying

"You can put diamonds on doo doo, it's still doo doo"


................


I had never heard this before in my life (chuckling and tearing a bit as I type this) and was sipping a Mt. Dew. Ever have Mountain Dew come out your nose? It hurts. Which of course made everyone laugh harder. I couldn't look anyone in the eye for the rest of the meal for fear of spitting something out.

 

[CalicoFarm]

All the post are funny, keep them coming.

My brother is a mechanic and this truck came into the shop a few months back to be worked on. He took the picture and sent it to me, I thought it was very original, lol. A true horseman no doubt.

 

[PineappleMama]

Quote:
Or an obstetrician.

Hope this one isn't too adult for BYC... if so please delete O' Modly Ones with my apologies...
It's another Dad sent me that just had me ROLLING... as I can see myself perpetrating such a whammy. Mwahaha.


John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:

"Dear Mother,

I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:

"Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love,

Mom



Lesson of the Day - Don't lie to your Mother.

 

[debilorrah]

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

 

[PineappleMama]

^Oh I love those Confucius ones...

Umpire Wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.

 

[mommyofthree]

When my oldest daughter was 4 we were having carrots with dinner one night. My daughter hates carrots, but my hubby was trying to convince her to eat them. He was telling her how they're "good for her eyes" and if she eats them they'll "help her to see really good" etc. Well of course she didn't really care, she doesn't LIKE carrots. And obviously, even after hubby's attempts to get her to eat them she didn't.
Well the next day I was out running errands with the kids, we were driving in the car and when I turned onto a different road the sun was shining really bright, right in the kids' faces. MY 4 year old yelled out "MOM!! My eyes hurt and I can't see because I don't eat carrots!!"

 

[dedicateddourly]

My favorite lolcat...