When do female humans stop nesting?

[toochicky]

So..I am at that age that most of my friends are married and starting to have children. It used to be this celebratory thing, where when you found it..it was like "yay". Now its just plain annoying.

I am losing all my friends to the "nesting syndrome"..or at least that is what I call it. I am not sure why female humans do this but I have noticed it now in 3 different friends over different years. When they get pregnant, they just go completely off the grid. They don't want to hang out, they don't update or call, (Ok with exception to the random Facebook post about having swollen feet or some other pregnancy discomfort).

I have lost one friend completely..because she never seemed to recover from the "nesting syndrome", and others become slightly more distant.

I mean, sure, I am going to have kids in about 1 to 2 years here..once we get more settled in, but I don't imagine just cutting my friends off. In fact, One would think you would want your friends over more to chat about it and eat ice cream.

Is it a temporary thing that once you have a child or your first child, you just want your privacy? Or does your whole mentality change, that you don't feel like friends are that important anymore? I don't get it. Can someone explain it to me?

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Erm, I have kids and I spend my day hanging out here. What, it's my one connection to sane and normal adults

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

Not temporary an not only a female thing.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

I try to make time for friends...but honestly when you have a 2 year old bouncing off the walls getting into everything...you don't have that much time. I'll also admit that the partying and shopping and such things just aren't important and don't interest me nearly as much. My days are full of children's books, tea parties, and coloring nowadays, and I'm not so self centered as to think my childless friends would be the least bit interested in any of it.

 

[Duramaxgirl]

Quote:
Yea my DH gets baby fever... although he's awful cute carrying around a newborn

My mom said she still would take a kid if she had the chance and she's 54...so it can last a long time I guess.

 

[silkiechicken]

Coming from a non parent but watching my friends/acquaintances/coworkers get married (or not), have kids, have more kids, and their kids start going to school... while I'm about the same age as they are and have at least 2 years of studies left... I swear they are just so dang tired and drawn out from raising kids, they barely have time for themselves short their friends.

 

[Katy]

I wouldn't say it has anything to do with wanting your privacy. It's that your priorities in your life change. That child becomes number one.

A person is going to have friends who understand that and realize you're suddenly very busy raising a child or they're not going to understand and they will fall by the wayside.

It has nothing to do with friends not being important anymore. Just the fact that you say "it's" becoming annoying says a lot about why you're losing contact with them.

 

[Duramaxgirl]

Quote:
Yes this sounds about right... dang tired all the time! But so worth it!

 

[toochicky]

Well, its not that I am acting put off when they say their pregnant. In fact, I think its great.. but I guess I feel like I am starting to lose my gang of friends. I actually really like kids, even more so because I am constantly in a "I want a baby" mood. So, I do try hard to be more welcoming to my friends with kids

Its just kinda sad when you finally get a really good set of friends,..and then seeing your friends downgrades a bunch, to barely seeing anyone at all.

 

[loanwizard]

Quote:
Excellent post.When you are single, what do you talk about? The opposite sex, vacations, parties, the opposite sex, how to meet, keep, break up with the opposite sex.

When the kids come along, vacations triple in cost, Talking about the opposite sex leads to meeting different people of the opposite sex, and ultimately could lead to divorce.