Why does facebook bring out the inconsiderate side of some people?

[BigDaddy'sGurl]

To start off, I raised my kids (boy and girl now 9 & 10) for roughly their first 7 years of life as a single mom. Their biological dad chose to be uninvolved after our separation and subsequent divorce. Then 3 years ago I got remarried to a wonderful man who loves my kids as though they are his own. My ex-husband decided that he suddenly wanted to be involved...but 7 + years of no-shows and no support made me say no. (And please no advice about whether or not he should or shouldn't get to see the kids...I'm leaving out large portions of the story to spare some typing. That question is not what this post is about)

Fast forward to now and I discover that a cousin who I only see 2X a year has uploaded pics of myself, my various family members, and my CHILDREN to facebook without my permission. Guess what happened before I realized her pics were made PUBLIC? You got it: the ex husband who has been quoted as threatening to kidnap my children and "shoot" my husband stole several pics from her profile and now have them displayed on his own. The only reason I know this is because a relative told me at our get-together today that she saw my kids on my ex's profile.

I sent the relative a polite but firm email requesting that she remove the pics or at least make them private for family only and now she's mad AT ME! What kind of moron posts pictures of underage children online to be made PUBLIC without the permission of their parents? Is it just me or would you be angry as well?

Oh and to make it better, the ex husband mislabelled a nephew of mine as "his son" when the child is actually no relation. The child in question's mother just LOVED that.

 

[eenie114]

I wouldn't be mad at first- a lot of people have different policies about posting pictures online, so it may have just been an innocent oversight- but she needs to respect your wishes as their mother. Her getting upset was uncalled for.

 

[thekid]

My one friend posts pictures of kids that go to school, elementary. She goes to the parties and takes pictures and everything. I really like it, she is good at taking pictures. And not too long ago somebody said that they wanted them to stop posting pics of their children and she made a status saying "Like this status if you want me to keep posting pictures of your kids. She got a bunch of likes because everybody likes the pictures

 

[BigDaddy'sGurl]

Quote:
I think the reason I feel so strongly is because I work in the childcare field wherein we preach about confidentiality. The teachers at my workplace are required to get parents signatures stating approval before they can put any childrens' pics online. I guess the whole "confidentiality" thing has simply rubbed off on me to the point that I take for granted that one should get permission before doing things like this.

But I think that since this relative knows of my custody issues from the past, it should be common sense to not make public my kids' pictures... I wouldn't do that to anyone else.

Regardless, I agree that she is out of line for being upset at me.

 

[Dar]

you can report the photo to FB as being your property and they will remove it .. its not an instant thing but they will get it done

 

[pokey]

People are idiots.I am all for taking an I.Q. test and a passing score before you are allowed to reproduce.

 

[BigDaddy'sGurl]

Quote:
I see your point, but as a parent I feel it should be up to me if my children are appearing online. I shouldn't potentially stumble across their pictures that were published without my knowledge or consent, regardless of how "good" someone feels they are.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Publication of photographs of individuals require permission of the individual or the parent/guardian of minors. In most cases, posting photos is not a huge issue, but it obviously IS in the OP's case. OP, I'd suggest contacting facebook and identifying the photos as being those of your minor children, and that they have been grabbed by your ex who has no custody rights, and demand that they remove all the photos. List the name sof all who have posted them that you know of.

Your relative had absolutely NO right to get angry, and displayed very poor judgement in 1) having a profile that is open tot he world, not just family and friends, 2) posting your child's photo given hte circumstances and 3) getting upset at your anger over her behavior. I would suggest unfriending her.

 

[kstaven]

Quote:
I have to second this one. People all to often don't think of the consequences of what they do on the net. Post it on the net and you may as well shout it to the world. It's not a rocket science theory and one she should understand.

 

[speckledhen]

My SIL did this recently. I told her to remove my photo pronto. I hate FB anyway and it never occurred to me that she'd post it on there when they were taking pics at a recent family dinner. She was probably mad, but I frankly don't care. She should have asked permission and seems a bit clueless not to know that. There's a reason I avoid people. This is one of them.