Why??? *rant warning*

[PotterWatch]

I know there have been a few of these ranting threads today so I apologize for adding to it but...

Why can't things be done the way I ask for them to be done? I don't feel like it's that hard...

I am a contract employee for a local company and I only work for them a few afternoons a week every few months. It just so happens that I worked three afternoons last week, three this week and one next week. This has put a crimp in my Passover plans since I haven't had the time to get ready that I really would have liked (I need the money though, so there is no way I would have refused these days). I am hosting a seder tomorrow at my house for some friends and their kids. I need the house to be clean and unfortunately it has been a mess since I have been working.

Before I left today, I asked my kids to do their chores which are cleaning the bathrooms and folding the laundry. I reminded them several times that they needed to have those chores done before I got home. I asked my husband to remind them to do those chores (which are posted on the fridge btw) and help them get the cleaning stuff they needed to do them.

So of course when I come home, those chores hadn't been touched. He had cleaned the computer room up and I guess the kids helped pick up some stuff, but nothing that I had asked to be done had been done. Why??? I feel like I completely wasted my breath asking for those chores to be finished. I feel ignored. Of course my husband is just ticked at me for not being deliriously happy he cleaned the computer room and picked up some stuff in the kitchen. To me it's like if he asked me to go get the oil changed on the car, but I come back with the brakes done instead. Helpful yes, but not what he needed and asked for.

 

[mangled]

I'm there with ya, hon. It's like beating your head up against a brick wall.

No one pitched in to help when I went back to work. After two weeks of frustration, I took all the TV remotes, the mouse for the computer and the remotes for the Wii with me when I left for work at 6 AM. I left a polite note on the table stating that they would all be technology deprived until I got more help around the house.

Took 3 days, believe it or not, but the chores are done now. I've only had to do it once more since those first three days.

Good luck. Hope things work out.

Em

 

[lil'chickies]

That is a great idea to deprive them of technology to get it done!!! I'll have to remember that one for my boys and hubby!!

 

[thewarriorchild]

That would work here, I need to remember to take the items away not just say don't use them. I have two sayings that my daughter hates

Delayed obediance is disobediance (I tell myself this one alot also)
and
The right thing done at the wrong time is the wrong thing

She always seems amazed that although she did some wonderful task it is not appreciated while I stare at what I needed done

 

[PotterWatch]

Quote:
That is what is getting me right now. I mean... I appreciate that you cleaned off your computer desk, but I would rather my guests have a clean place to pee and wash hands.

 

[new-roo]

As A guy I have to defend your husband, we(males in general) are hearing deficient, (and lazy). I will be he lost something in the computer room and cleaned up as he looked, probably didnt find what he was looking for, but it did make it look like he did something to help. And 15 minutes before you arrived home he probably relized there wasnt enough time to do what you asked so he told the kids to do something so it wouldnt look like they did nothing all day. We try, and figure its better to do something so it looks like we at least tried to help.

 

[PotterWatch]

I wish I could say that was true. It really was just a case of him not listening since when I got home and asked about it, he said he couldn't remember what chores I had said they needed to do. If I had only mentioned it in passing as I was going out the door, I could understand that; after all, I have been known to forget things myself. However, I spent several minutes letting him know what I had told the kids and making sure that he knew they might need help finding the supplies they needed or getting some direction from him. Not to mention that we have a chore chart that is posted on the fridge that would have told him at a glance which chores they needed to do.

 

[new-roo]

Quote:
Hey now that you mention it, we have a chore thing too, I mounted a White board(after about 2 months of "can you put this up") so chores could be written down, and every since then all I hear is "I wrote it in great big letters how could you miss it?" For some reason she doenst like to here,"because I would have had to look in order to see it." I dont know why she keeps trying to get me to read, I have been reading the same book for almost a year now, you would think she could catch on that I dont like reading.

 

[MandyH]

Males may be hearing deficient and lazy ( you will not hear an argument from me on that one), but the way I see it is this: You poop in the same toilet I do, you wear the same amount of clothes that I do (if not more), you eat the meals that I cook, so why am I expected to clean up everything. I am not, that's why. My husband learned a LONG time ago, that to do what is asked of you will not only save you time, it will save you LOTS of hearing me rant until what I asked to be done, is done. And not done like you did it just to be doing it, but done right. I wash, dry and fold: he puts away. I load and wash the dishwasher, he puts away, you leave streaks in the toilet, you clean them, you don't wear diapers anymore so I am not responsible, you drop something, you pick it up. You spill something, you mop it. Even my 3 year old understands these rules and she picks up behind herself better than he does. My DH left a cup in the livingroom the other night and the 3 year old DD told him "Mama's gonna make us a headache if you don't put that in the sink". Smart girl! By the way, that's what she says when I go on a tear, "You makin me a headache". LOL

 

[unionwirewoman]

I won't go into what I had happen to me today with my DH........BUT I HEAR YA !!!!!!! I think men and teenagers are the same .....too concerned about what they're doing at the moment to listen . If they do listen , they remember until they get side tracked onto something else . My remedy for step daghter is no computer ( I'd say no cell phone , but her mother pays the bill ) . She's gotten MUCH better after not being allowed online . YOU HAVE TO STICK TO YOUR THREATS OF PUNISHMENT ! Otherwise ...it won't work . What a surprise she had when I stuck to the " NO CUSSING " rule . I gave her three strikes...... then a bar of soap in her mouth for 5 minutes . Over the last year I've had to do it 3 times...but got smart the last time by rubbing a wet wash cloth with soap , then wrapping it in soap . 5 months of no cussing !! Just be firm and stick to your rules and punishments !


Sorry this is so long ! If you happen to find a way that gets men on track....PLEASE...let me know !