You can't pick your relatives......RANT

[lockedhearts]

I have one sibling, a sister. She and I have never been close, we never will be, but I thought in the last few years things had gotten better.
Yesterday, while on FaceBook, I see her online and needed to talk about a few things regarding my parents upcoming 50th anniversary.
I asked her about a gift from us, I understand things are tight with them, my BIL is out of work, but I am as well. Her answers to me were short and then I asked about my idea of us all getting a family photo taken for my parents, she just ignored me.

I have made mistakes in my life, but I really am tired of being treated like dirt by my sister. I really can't talk to my mom, it stresses her out and she has a lot going on trying to get things done for this party.

It is so weird when we are together, I almost dread going to the anniversary. My sister comes across with this "holier than though" attitude. Yes, we were both raised in the church and yes I am a christian but because I do not regularly go to church I guess I am the spawn of satan in her eyes. She hugs my hubby normally when she sees him, me it is a strained quick hug. For the record her and my hubby were in the same class at school.
Funny thing is, I always thought my BIL was a jerk, he is actually nice to me, in fact I talked to him a couple days ago about some anniversary stuff.
I try hard not to let it get to me, but right now this really hurts!

 

[Dar]

i know what you are feeling...i have an older sister and to say we have a strained relationship would be a stretch cause we hate one another... she is lil miss goody 2 shoes and you know i am dirt...in her eyes at least

 

[FlashPointFarm]

The way I see it, you made an effort to include her and she brushed you off. Get the best gift you can and leave her out of it. You can't control how others behave. If she wants to carry baggage around with her, than it is her problem.

Think positive, treat her positively. I know it hurts, I've been in your shoes. Now I haven't spoken to my sister in years. In my situation, my life is better without her.

I agree not to involve your parents. They can't control how she behaves either. As far as her treating you like she's better than you, you know better.

 

[chixie]

i grew up with two sisters and a brother... i am the third child ... i am close to one of my sisters and my baby brother(until he died) my oldest sister not so much... she is uppidy we can get along but sometimes she hurts peoples feelings... like she doesn't tell my mom thet she loves her if my mom tells love you she says me too..(my sister was molested by my moms brother and my dads nephew) ... i don't think she means to hurt peoples feelings... we only see here every once in awhile unless a close member of the family dies... I really have no advice for you... I just wanted you to know you are not alone

 

[Feathered Wings]

Quote:
This is my situation only worse my sister turned on me in one of the worst ways possible.
She has told so many lies about me and hurt me time and again until I hate her.
She has hated me from my birth and slapped me repeatedly as a child i have always been passive and forgave her.
But as I became and adult i saw how she really was and that she abused me as a child and how much she really hated me.
She is unmarried and jealous of me and my husband and children when my daughter became a teen and rebelled my sister told everyone i was and abusive mother and i didn't deserve my children.
Told everyone my daughter kept running away because of abuse i almost lost my mind over this.
She even once made the remark as she left the room on a holiday "I don't See how her husband could stay married to "That"
My sister is one of the evilest people on this earth and i have not seen her in 5 years since our mother died and i hope i never lay eyes on her again.

Drop her and go on with your life you will be much happier i tried for years to get along for the sake of my family.
The problem was i was the only one trying

 

[horsejody]

Well, it's nice to know that I am not the only black sheep out there. I have a sister that is a real wing dinger too, and she is the favorite. My brother, my other sister and I all have jobs and have managed to have normal lives. This sister couldn't take care of herself or make a good decision to save her life. If she were drowning in the ocean and somebody threw her a life jacket, she wouldn't grab it. She would just drown while complaining that nobody jumped in the water and put the life jacket on for her. Yes, she was always our parents' favorite. Now she won't work and is raising her kids to be just as bad as she is.

 

[lurky]

HI

Can i join this club? I have a sister that drains the life out of me too

I refuse to let it bother me anymore. My advice is to set yourself free mentally and you just RISE ABOVE the drama. You are an individual, and you dont need to work to be friends if she is not making the same effort. Try to not let her ruin your day. There is a very good chance that there is something that she is jealous about and you are being punished for that. Rise above and look down on the situation and it might be a more comfortable angle to things. I'm living my own version of your story and i found this to work well. Good Luck

Dont let them bring you down. You have the control of this <eg>

 

[mmtillman]

Quote:
Yeah....what Lurky said! Take the high road... You are the better person. So just avoid family members who effect you in a negative way.
Life is TOO short to waste on strife and hurt feelings.
I took this advice years ago and now I am FREE of the burden of guilt and the pain these people put me thru. I wish the best for you and hope you can take this advice to heart. You will be so much happier! God Bless you !

 

[Steve_of_sandspoultry]

It's not easy and it sure hurts at times but.... scrape them off and keep going. They aren't worth the time.

Steve in NC

 

[lockedhearts]

I try to not let it get to me, but sometimes it does. She has always been the "good" one. She got straight A's in school while I struggled. She has kids, she seems to have it all. I will get through this anniversary party and enjoy it . THe thing that gets me is she claims to be a Christian and alot of times she certainly does not act very christian like.