The issue: My grandmother wants my mom, dad and I to attend a Christmas dinner with my uncle. We do not want to go.
The background story: My uncle has always had a jealous, hatred type relationship with my mother (who is 2 yrs younger) and has threatened and tried to kill her several times throughout their childhood together. He is my grandmother's favorite, I mean the sun rises and sets upon his face for her, so anything he does is totally written off, forgiven and forgotten.
He has been to jail several times for DWIs and admitted to the Psych Ward for causing neighborhood disturbances. He has a drinking problem which leads to a lot issues (like burning down his house) and he will hide the fact he's drinking, become paranoid and make outrageous claims like we are stalking him. He cut his neighbor's cable line because their kids were playing in their own lawn and "screaming". He is a truly creepy fellow as well. He is very smart and clever however, and can manipulate my grandmother and play her like a violin, to the point that he caused a MAJOR falling out with my grandmother where we did not even speak for several years. Now he is playing the martyr, and whining how he is sad that we don't want to spend Christmas with him. He has no job. He is basically "kept" by my grandma.
Luckily, people do not judge us by his actions as we are law abiding, volunteer, rescue type people (who also have jobs). I don't want that to sound pretentious, I just want it known that we try to be the best citizens we can be by helping others and doing what we can and we feel his ridiculousness is downright embarassing. When my uncle goes off on a rampage, the neighborhood calls us and we make it right (my grandmother prefers to let him run amok and terrorize the community).
I personally do not want to be around him because of how he is with my mother, constantly saying how she is the favorite...
Last year my grandma's boyfriend got me a red dot for my rifle and everyone took a turn looking through it, and even though it wasn't attached to a gun, no one pointed it at another person's head, except for my uncle, who pointed it at my mother's head. That really unnerved me. I mean it wasn't attached to a gun, but I myself would never do that!
So, my mom has said several times this year that she isn't doing any holiday get togethers with him, but my grandmother keeps pushing and I am starting to get more and more offended. She has no respect for our wishes, only what makes my uncle happy. Do you think it is unreasonable to not want to hang out with someone like this regardless that they are family?
The background story: My uncle has always had a jealous, hatred type relationship with my mother (who is 2 yrs younger) and has threatened and tried to kill her several times throughout their childhood together. He is my grandmother's favorite, I mean the sun rises and sets upon his face for her, so anything he does is totally written off, forgiven and forgotten.
He has been to jail several times for DWIs and admitted to the Psych Ward for causing neighborhood disturbances. He has a drinking problem which leads to a lot issues (like burning down his house) and he will hide the fact he's drinking, become paranoid and make outrageous claims like we are stalking him. He cut his neighbor's cable line because their kids were playing in their own lawn and "screaming". He is a truly creepy fellow as well. He is very smart and clever however, and can manipulate my grandmother and play her like a violin, to the point that he caused a MAJOR falling out with my grandmother where we did not even speak for several years. Now he is playing the martyr, and whining how he is sad that we don't want to spend Christmas with him. He has no job. He is basically "kept" by my grandma.
Luckily, people do not judge us by his actions as we are law abiding, volunteer, rescue type people (who also have jobs). I don't want that to sound pretentious, I just want it known that we try to be the best citizens we can be by helping others and doing what we can and we feel his ridiculousness is downright embarassing. When my uncle goes off on a rampage, the neighborhood calls us and we make it right (my grandmother prefers to let him run amok and terrorize the community).
I personally do not want to be around him because of how he is with my mother, constantly saying how she is the favorite...
So, my mom has said several times this year that she isn't doing any holiday get togethers with him, but my grandmother keeps pushing and I am starting to get more and more offended. She has no respect for our wishes, only what makes my uncle happy. Do you think it is unreasonable to not want to hang out with someone like this regardless that they are family?
