@DobieLover You are right 'that's not him', but one thing for sure he has left/created good memories with you. What a horrible situation - perhaps harder on the loved ones than on the ill person.
This is much harder on the family than the patient.
If they think he is about to die get yourself to the nursing home to be with him during his transition.
If the family is there be damned, as he is your husband and you need to be there.