Daughter broke up with boyfriend and I'm the one depressed!

[connie1966]

I have no choice to ask a friend he blocked me lol i know sane here this page helped me so much!

 

[connie1966]

I keep drraming of him today in my dream he said he was coning home and came to my house

i didnt want to wake up

 

[Am I mad 66]

It will still get better despite the dream. So so hard though x

 

[connie1966]

Its been 1 year 8 months and i still miss my boy

 

[Tectopcat]

We've experienced a similar thing with a twist that has left us devastated. My daughter dated a wonderful supportive young man, 2 years older. They dated for 3 and a half years from when she was 17. They broke up over a year ago. He would write how much he loved her. We don't know what happened as she wouldn't tell us, my guess is she holds part of her emotions back so she doesn't experience loss and hurt and of course that only leads to more loss and hurt. She said we wouldn't understand when they broke up, my guess is she may have initiated it. My wife spoke briefly to him and he said it was some whate mutual. He really loved her, we thought he was great. A year later he has now found another girl friend and I think he is engaged. What could have been really hurts. to make matters worse my daughter has been influenced or hanging out with a strict or near cult like or traditionalist Catholic church (we are Catholic too but not traditionlist) and she told us she is considering being a nun! The orders she checks out only let you see family for 5 days a year. So this very tough. Now here is the bizarre thing, she and her old boyfriend are in daily contact through texting-almost by the hour like when they were dating-just friends though now and ocassionally they go out to lunch together or see a movie. Not on Friday or Sat nights though- new girlfriend knows. Anyone figure this out? Other than old boyfriend she seems to have no real friends.

 

[connie1966]

Wow! Im speachless! All i know is that its sad that she doesnt have friends to confide in and wont confide in you , who knows what happened can be anything,mayby sexual since shes religious .. Or maybe shes confused about her sexuality i dont know , their on good terms so thats a good sign .. I feel so bad for her, i hope she doesnt become a nun for the wrong reasons , must be so hard for you and your wife

 

[Tectopcat]

Yes, it is extremely hard, I think what happened is that she wasn't ready to get married and has trouble expressing affection, some
girl friends stopped being in touch when she started dating this young man. She was never this religious until after the break up but this traditionilst group she had met before and they discourage dating-say it should be dating fast? The pain of the losing the young man is bad enough but the idea of losing contact with our daughter is even more so-before this she was a straight A college student in science,and athlete and had a bright future and a very pretty girl. I think the pain of the breakup and isolation,even though I think she brought it on, has pushed her deeper into seeking something,Jesus. It just seems out of balance and too much guilt and detachment all for wrong reasons. We showed a couple of priest the printed material she was being given and they both said cult like try and love her but don't argue. I wish we knew a way to get her out of it. The contact with the ex boyfriend is daily-like 20-30 messages an day. When they were together-well those were the good ole days and we just had no clue it would end up like this. He is such a good guy-to throw it all away is painful as you all know.

 

[connie1966]

Wow its so sad

maybe tell her do what you want but maybe go see a therapist first make sure this is what you really wantt and that your not doing it for the wrong reasons

 

[connie1966]

How is everybody?

 

[Am I mad 66]

I'm better thanks, and daughter very happy, seeing someone else and so cheerful and lovely to be around. Still very sad, and sometimes things happen which make you wish she was still with her ex. Time does help. What about everyone else? X