It's been awhile...
This week has been interested. Last 2wks really. If I already posted, sorry for the repeat. Dewey walked out of his job with no other job to go to 11 days ago. I have been scrambling to make sure we keep our house and all utilities for at least another month. Dewey is trying to get back into his old job of 10yrs but they aren't hiring until mid-December. How the heck am I going to keep this place going with no income for a month?! My mom broke 3 ribs two weeks ago, so we have been running everyday to help her with her horse chores. Dewey hit a deer with my car - the only decent vehicle. I am driving around with most of my front end missing.
I had to sell the horse, Maggie. She left today. I bawled on the new owner's shoulder. I sent 14 birds to auction and only got about $2-3 each for them. I can't understand why I have such a hard time selling birds locally for very reasonable prices. No, I end up giving them away at auction.
Dewey and I have the shed nearly finished. We put the other two pens on the other side of the shed. Both are about 6'6" x 4'3". The isle is another 13'x4'3" and I may use it for the Ameraucanas. I will be able to get all my birds in the big shed except the turkeys and geese if I do put the Ams in the aisle. I need to build bases for my last 2 breeding cages, add vents and clean up and the shed is ready for winter.
In the meantime, I am so stressed and now I feel a round of depression coming on. I feel so hopeless and I don't care about anything. I totally resent Dewey right now. I just want to yell and scream at him - maybe get physical with him... I was stabbing holes in a box for the birds today and was thinking the box was him. It helped. I don't want anything else to do with him. I forewarned everyone that Christmas is cancelled. No music, no movies, no decorations and there won't be any presents. I get all emotional around the holidays anyways. My mom and her boyfriend ruin the holidays with their fighting. We've been struggling to give the kids nice Christmases for the last 4yrs, but usually something happens right before the holidays and everything works out. This year, I am not so sure. What was Dewey thinking? He had the nerve to yell at me for not supporting him in his decision. He left his job of 10yrs without talking to me! I'm sorry, but he asked me what he should do before leaving the new job and I told him to stick it out and look for another job in the meantime. What's he do? He walks out the next day! He has a FAMILY to support! My son has severe ADHD and he hasn't had any meds in 4 months and I am getting calls from the school every week.
Okay, rant over. Sorry, but I needed to tell someone. I am seriously trying to keep my composure but I really just want to bawl my eyes out and stay in bed forever.
Chica, try to hang in there. I wish I had more words to help.... I know selling Maggie broke your heart wide open, but I also know you were doing what you had to do. I hope you know that too. You can't undo Dewey quitting his job, so try to move forward for your own sake, not his.
