Things you never said until you had chickens.......

"Don't kick the turd- the floor stays clean till some buddy kicks a turd"
"I have to clip the chickens toe nails and wash her diaper"
"Give your birdie a hug and a kiss and put her night night "(to my 3 year old)
"The turd-in-ator"(chickens nick name)
"You wanna take a shower with your chicken or by yourself?"
"I slid in a Cadbury"(the brown oily poos"
"Lift ur butt off the toilet so I can throw this poop away"(to my husband)
"Where's the chicken?"
"Why isn't the chicken wearing her diaper?" (My husband). "Because I feel bad, she wore it all day" (me). "Do you think she feels bad for you cleaning up her crap all over?" (Husband)
 
" Calm down! Gees, I'll teach them not to poop on the patio. It just takes time for them to learn these things. "

I also told him the chicken poop was great for my plants fresh out of the chicken lol So far he has mentioned how great things should grow this year about a dozen times lol We shall see ...
 
This is chicken math (at least the way I do it) Meat chickens = 0 (dinner), Juveniles = 0. All full size breeds = 1. Bantams = .5 Any birds you are thinking about getting rid of but are not sure yet = 0. Chicks = 0. So although someone may look at my flock and say Michael, you have about 56 birds, I really only have 7. According to that total I have plenty of room for more birds if I come across something that I just can't live without. That my friend is chicken math. Now if I could just get my wife to understand this.
Don't forget that 1+1 = 14. See, if you have one hen, and you add a rooster, you get 12 young pullets and cockerels, 1 hen, and 1 rooster. Or that your flock + new chicks always equals your flock + x, x meaning 36, because no matter what you plan, it is always better if they are even numbered. So the answer is therefore your current flock + 36. Or the concept of pi, which means your flock + 1 pi = your flock. To make that transaction you need to understand, that chickens eat everything besides other chickens. Unless the chickens are dead. So when you give your flock any number of pi, they eat the pi and there is only themselves.
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And I helped devolop the fact that you can go into negatives in chicken math. If you give away all your chickens exept 2, one meat hen and one meat rooster, which both equal 0, and you promise to give 8 to a neighbor, you end up with -8. So the equation looks like :

number of chickens you have - number of chickens you have = -3. It is a tough concept to wrap your mind around, but that is how I earned my PhD in chicken math.


I love chicken math!
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Another component of chicken math is that, when you have a loss in your flock, it usually takes AT LEAST two birds to replace the one you lost. This is because you can't just get one new baby (he or she would be too cold and alone). And introducing one lone juvenile or adult to an existing flock is dangerous for the lone newbie. But you can still account for the new two (or however many) as just one - or at least I do - since they are replacing just one... Chicken math = it's complicated, and I thought I was the only one who thought this way up and until I joined this forum and realized that it is apparently naturally ingrained in all of us!

YES! I think that is how we ended up with 22 more chickens after one of the original 3 died.
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My husband understands chicken math, I taught him well!!
 
Hahahahaha, This is the exact math I did when one of my baby silkies dies....I wanted a replacement so the remaining chick didnt get lonely; had a friend with two silkie chicks I asked for one-she said take both so they are not alone. HAHAHHA......lost one/got two :) When my boyfriend was telling a friend of his about this his friend said, "Wait didnt she just lose ONE of the chicks?" Boyfriends response, "Yep, thats what I said."
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Yep......I am chicken crazy :)
 
Hahahahaha, This is the exact math I did when one of my baby silkies dies....I wanted a replacement so the remaining chick didnt get lonely; had a friend with two silkie chicks I asked for one-she said take both so they are not alone. HAHAHHA......lost one/got two :) When my boyfriend was telling a friend of his about this his friend said, "Wait didnt she just lose ONE of the chicks?" Boyfriends response, "Yep, thats what I said."
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Yep......I am chicken crazy :)

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