What would you do . . .

[sourland]

That's a tough call, but I think minding your own business in this situation was the right reaction. Some kids learn that they can get away with more in public settings and need to be educated that this is not acceptable. Don't beat yourself up over this.

 

[CherokeeCowgirl]

As a matter of fact I popped my 5 yr old daughter in the mouth a couple days ago for calling me a b**h*le. Some new language she has suddenly come up with when she is mad. I am not in for it one lick. I will wash that mouth out with soap and if I don't have any soap I will pop your little mouth.

You were the one there. You would have to go with your gut. Do you think she was being abusive or trying to correct a disrespectful child that was showing out in public? I didn't see it so I couldn't tell you what to do. Use your gut is all I can say....

I don't think it is abusive to use that type reprimanding at times. Sometimes it is neccessary!

 

[patnjess]

Ok we have 7 kids. So let me tell you there is a difference in abuse and discipline. And the people that really abuse their kids, are the ones where the kids aren't taking care of, and they verbally assault them. the parents are wise they won't do it in public.

No i have hit my kids in public, I am not a big proponent of hitting at all! and once they are 5 I have found better ways of punishing them. Now we don't know if that child has bit, spit, or cursed, and a little pop in the mouth will teach them. There is a difference when they are being hit with love, to teach a lesson, and when they are being hit just to be hit!

I have been the woman in walmart that gets looks, you can not win! You can't make everyone happy, either you don't punish those kids, and they act like monsters, but when you do punish then you automatically are called a child abuser!!!

I have worked with and reported child abusers, and they are much more sneaky, trust me.

I love my children, and I would gladly die for anyone of them in a heartbeat, hands down. But I discipline them. I have 7 children have hardly ever had to hit any one of them, have never struck them with anything, but you know what I can bring all of them out to dinner or to Walmart and not be embarrassed.
we have friends that have only 2 children, and I'm embarrassed for those people. They are monsters, and they always talk sweet and never really discipline just a bunch of threats! Those kids are mean and spoiled rotten.

So did this mother pop their kid in their mouth, or did she slap across the face so hard that the child's head was pushed back. And how did the child react? In my experience the abused child rarely cries. I'm serious. I have seen two year olds that have been so badly abused, tears will run down their face, but not a sound comes out because they are scared.

Ok so the point is of this rant, unless it was obvious minding your own business is best. I think it depends on how the child reacts.
sorry for the rant

 

[schellie69]

When my oldest daughter was 4 we were at Wal-mart my younger daughter was 2 and I was very pregnant with my oldest son my oldest daughter was was to smart for her own good, she was mouthing off and being mean to her sister I gave her a warning and told her if she didn't stop we would go to the bathroom well she figured since I was so big and very miserable she would push my buttons so she did it again and we went to the bathroom where she had to stand in the corner for 4 minutes I turn around and find that these 3 older woman had followed my into the bathroom their friend had went to find security they thought was going to beat my daughter so they were calling the police and everything my daughter does her time out them tells the officer that my mom doesn't spank us we get time out and it sucks... out of the mouth of babies. but I could not believe that they did that I had to talk to the police and everything so by the time I got home was in a really bad mood. but my daughter learned that some people are just to silly for words. I am not sure what I have done in that situation but kids seem to know when to push buttons and where I think I would have looked at the mom and said something like they can be a hand full at times and it is hard to hold your frustration in but that's what parents have to do. sometimes they just need to know that we have all been there. I do use spanking for really major things but I have found with kids grounding and time out works wonders.....makes them think longer....

 

[SarahFair]

Timeouts work for older kids that understand it better.
My 4 year old he really dislikes time out, I mean really dislikes it. My 2 year old while he understand that he has to sit there he doesnt understand really why..

Its different for each kid

 

[pdsavage]

Kids don't get equal rights under the law,people are allowed to hit thier kids but not thier spouse.....Alot of people say well its there religion,but that don't cut it either cause the bible also says:
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (King James Version)

18If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

19Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;

20And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

21And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
oh and spare the rod and spoil the child is old testiment also

 

[klf73]

Quote:
yeah, this would get mine tapped on the mouth. I am a firm believer in never smacking their face but I have tapped their mouth, but they always have fair warning and it would have had to been a repeat offense.
People are always sticking their noses where they don't belong nowadays. My son smacked our australian shepherd on the hindquarter because he got away from him and my son was angry. The dog ran to the neighbors house to "visit" her dogs. The neighbor yelled at my son and then CALLED THE POLICE. So now I had to talk to an officer for over a half hour when I had to have my 14yo watch all the other kids. It was stupid and ridiculous. He gave me a whole bunch of pamplets and even called a week later, it was humiliating. I confronted her and told her to please call me next time(not like she doesn't know me). It really was none of her business but if she felt compelled she should have called me. Ds is not allowed to lay his hands on the animals and I told him it was his own fault the dog got away from him, he really should have only been mad at himself and he got punished for striking the dog(same thing I would have done had she called me). Long way off topic but just my example of people not minding their own business.

Not knowing the whole story I probably would have just asked her if everything was ok, and not with an attitude, just a concerned tone.....

 

[klf73]

Quote:
I am not religious so I don't use that excuse. My dh has never laid a hand on me and he rarely phyically disiplines the children. I see many kids that were never hit that really should have been. Like the kid that turns to his mother, in front of his father, and tells her to shut up(not jokingly)..... yeah,

or the kid (11) who tell his sibling to f off in front of the parents, yeah, another

I have smacked my 2yo hand for reaching for the hot stove. Tried time outs etc(didn't work) but I would rather the smack then have to go to the emergency room.....

Unless there is abuse going on I think a parent has every right to disipline how they see fit

oh yeah, I'm one of those "mean moms" too

I care where they are and what they are doing ALL the time

 

[patnjess]

Yeah this is old testament. As a previous victim of domestic violence, broken bones and all, I can assure you, that discipling and spousal abuse is two very different things. This is just hog wash. Now if the child is actually abused then it isn't and something has to be done.
but me popping a kid in the mouth for spiiting or biting, is not the same as being punched by a spouse! Give me a break. I have worked with the state and actual abused children.
It is a parents job to bring their child up.
they don't have the same rights at all, nor should they.
I may have a drink, or a ciggerette that is my right.
I won't let my kids have soda or cuss. Give me a break!

In some countries children killed.
a baby born a girl killed.
twins (considered bad luck) will be killed.
We do our best, and there are those evil people who do abuse their kids, hit them for no reason and abuse them. But abuse can be more then physical.
You forgot all the scriptures in the new testament once Jesus came about how loved and special children are!

Matthew 15:26
He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."
Matthew 18:3 (New International Version)
3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven

386.Matthew 19:13
[ The Little Children and Jesus ] Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.
Matthew 19:12-14 (in Context) Matthew 19 (Whole Chapter)
387.Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Ephesians 6:4 (New International Version)
4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

1 Thessalonians 2:10-12 (New International Version)

10You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. 11For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.

and one of my favorites
Hebrews 12:8
If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.



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[pdsavage]

Im so confused so its ok to hit your child for calling you a name but not anyone else????Arnt we suppose to lead by example?