Ah, but it’s a grand and glorious world! Sometimes it seems as if everything is completely screwed up, then you get a bolt from the blue to set things straight. It’s always like that…
You don’t give up and keep plugging. You fail or you get it right; either way you hold your head up.
Things to keep in mind:
1. I’m usually right.
2. When I'm wrong, I'll admit it.
3. When in doubt, refer to #1
"The middle of the road is the worst place to be, since you get hit with traffic from both directions" - - Margaret Thatcher
A snail can sleep for three years. Who determined this???
All polar bears are left handed.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (which doesn't say much for birds in general)
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall. Okay, I'll admit it: I'd like to see that.
Almost everyone who reads this will try, or has tried, to lick their elbow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
23% of all photocopier faults world-wide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts ( I do not have the data on this one - "butt," I dont care... it's still funny)
In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand ( and, no, I dont have the data on this one, either)
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. This one is astonishing.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. This is just sad...
It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An immigrant with no education asked his boss for a promotion.
"Sorry, but you can't count or read - I can't promote you. You'll have to keep sweeping the floors."
"But, boss, I just want to work on the loading dock."
"Sorry, there's nothing I can do."
On the way home and feeling dejected, the guy bought a small box of apples as a present for his wife. She loved apples.
When he arrived at his tenement, he sat down to eat an apple while he waited for his wife.
A man walking by spotted the fruit and said to him, "Hey, how much for two of those apples?"
"I dunno," said the immigrant - "what'll you give me?"
The man gave him a dollar and told him to keep the change. Before long several people had stopped and bought apples, and soon his box was empty.
The next day he bought two boxes and went uptown. Many people stopped and wondered what his apples cost. His answer was always the same: "What'll you give?"
Within a month he had quit his job and started selling apples. Soon he had a fruit stand, and then three. Within ten years he had an organic grocery store and after twenty years, an entire chain of them. He had become a very successful business man, by then.
At his retirement party years later, everyone marveled at how far he had come, an uneducated immigrant.
He was asked what he thought he might have become if he had gotten an education.
With a twinkle in his eye, he answered... "A loading dock worker."
When in doubt about pricing something, ask people what they'll give.
If its not enough, negotiate. If it satisfactory, you got a deal.
Either way - you'll find out what it is worth.
This works for eggs, cars or anything else you want to sell.
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