To Eat or Not to Eat...that is the question

A Mildly Entertaining Sharing of Training City Man to behave!
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  1. Windy's Feathered Friends
    To Eat or Not to Eat.. that is the question!

    We raised Cornish cross meat birds and didn't expect that every single one would live to eating size and expected them to weight at most 4-6 pounds on foot.

    I am a "veteran" poultry keeper and have dispatched countless cluckers over my VERY long life. So needless to say, I was errr... I thought I was prepared this year with my very NEW sweet, overly simpethetic CITY husband. He would spout out very often in a very sweet animated tone "I want to live off the fat of the land and dip my toes into self sustaining!" Mind you gets grossed out when a dog poops 50 feet away and I would just smile at him as his face grimaced..

    So.. we are back.. "We".

    By week 3, my sweet, animated and oh so optimistic husband began.. Cussing and kept blurting out "Off with his head!" Mind In sweet a very gentle tone. "Surly they are giant enough! Let's do it! Cmon! We've waited forever! How about now! Are they ready yet?! Wow! That one is massive! Now?!?!How much longer...." and that began every day by day until I could not bare to tell him one more time "No love, not yet... (fill in all the 30 minute explainations as to why they were not ready to meat their maker).....

    Fast forward to 10 days later and a sweet, frugal and persistant husband got his wish! (Dramatic drums roll)
    He rushed around, grabbing the things I reccomend to use minus the most critical item. An extremely sharp skinning knife. He made the executive decision that a normal kitchen knife would do because his incredibly frugal and penny pinching mind decided spend an extra two bucks on a new knife was pish posh and no REAL. Man would do this without a massive 10 pound axe and a log! I attempted to explain, but as he frolicked off to something I finally said... " F@$& it.. let him learn his way!" I mean really how bad could this go right? A frolicking 56 year old man carrying an axe, chasing a 6 week old chicken and shouting off with his head!

    Did I mention we had 38?

    To be continued... (Drums roll again?)

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    About Author

    Windy's Feathered Friends
    I've been raising chickens and men for 50+ years. Chickens are wonderful bright creatures!
    KikisGirls, Diannastarr, Bek and 15 others like this.

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  1. sheetmetaltom
    that was so funny. im glad you posted part 2 to the story. i find people who talk alot and are overly loud arent very good at what they are talking about. maybe if he was to watch you process a few birds he would learn something, although that part of his living in the fat of the land might be over.unless you are providing the fat. ive always hunted and fished so blood doesnt bother me, but it took a couple of chickens to find the best method for me to a) catch the bird i wanted b) cut off its head. good luck with your husband. sounds like you have the chicken part down pat anyway.
      NorthTexasWink likes this.
  2. Clare Marie
    That was hilarious! It's really cool that your husband wanted to help though! It's uncommon to find city folks that are interested in any way :)
      NorthTexasWink and Diannastarr like this.
  3. Beer can
    :lol:
    I've had a few hard times processing, had a broad breasted turkey hen I just couldn't do, funny story behind that, maybe I'll tell it later but fact is she cost hundreds of dollars in feed to die of a ripe old age of two of natural causes and we didn't benefit besides a pet for two yrs.
    Now, chickens, always have too many and we do raise them dual purpose so for meat also. We only need so many eggs, but hatching is fun and the kids love it.
    I look at it as two choices, continue buying who knows what from the store. And spend $$$ on birds we don't need.
    Or process our own.
    This makes it much easier and without expensive mechanical processing equipment;
    I have pieces of electric tape ready, once they're in the cone tape the legs together, haven't had any climb out this way, they will if you don't use
    Slice the juglars straight across easy with a sharp filet knife, makes it easier, just walk away for a few minutes and the struggle is over, actually a lot easier than just chopping off the head with a axe and watching it flop across your yard... then head comes off with poultry shears.
    The cone is in a 55gal plastic barrel lined with a heavy garbage bag. Cutting board fits on top of the barrel offset to toss everything in, BBQ grill right next to with sideburner with scalding water. Garden hose right there also. Everything up at a nice hight to save on the back.
    All the mess contained in the bag.
    Barrel, cone, cutting board rinses off easy.
    Easy peasy, not as much work, mess is contained, and no buying questionable chicken in the store.
      NorthTexasWink and Diannastarr like this.
  4. black_dove2
    You have a wonderful way of telling a story, thank you so much.
      Diannastarr likes this.
  5. FrankHomestead
    I have a city boy husband as well, very soft hearted. I have a feeling I will be butchering any livestock while he is running errands...:lau
  6. NorthTexasWink
    My HE (Husband Equivalent) likes to use the royal "We" as well. It generally means I have a new icky, messy, poopy, bloody, gross, stomach-churning, labor-intensive, disagreeable chore to add to my list. HE is also fond of saying he can only focus on one task at a time, and can't be bothered with details. Guess who's department those fall under?
  7. Windy's Feathered Friends
    Part 2 -What Hatchet?

    After an hour or so hubby comes in the house panting and said.. "okay they won round one!" Then decided to go take a nap. Not more then 30 mins went by and he was up and chasing... and eventually caught the biggest misfortunate plucky. He then tried to get it lay down and "hold still" while he slanted his face in absolute sheer determination that no chick Or chicken was gonna get one up on him! I offered some advice, guidance and such on deaf ears. At this point he's sweating, beat red and finally asks me how to convince it to lay down so he could chop off it's head. I told him how I felt relaxin going the bird and giving it thanks and calming it would go much further then rough handling. He looked at me as if I had said been abducted by aliens. "Well! I don't wanna kiss it! I just wanna kill it?!" He spouted back.

    I paused for a moment in silence outside of 38 chickens cackling in distress. Where did my sweet, gentle, compassionate man go I wondered to myself. As he handed me the first chicken that was met with a kind swift, quiet, whisper and one fast yank behind the jaw line before he had even fully had let go. His mouth dropped to the floor and couldnt say a single word as he watched the lifeless bird flap inside the bucket. He just couldn't believe I actually just oh so gently killed it without a word. ..
      Nekatlla, KikisGirls, Kusanar and 8 others like this.
    1. ChickNanny13
      Years ago I raised meat rabbits, had a kit that needed to be euthanized, asked Hubby to do it. He grabbed a huge hammer, I changed my mind. Took it from him, calmed it down then snapped it's neck. Done. NEVER asked him for help when it came to processing, did it myself. Easier on me & rabbits. "When you want something done right, do it yourself" my Mom always said.
    2. FrankHomestead
      Too much stress...lol he needs to take a deep breath and relax lol
      black_dove2 likes this.
  8. ChickNanny13
    Waiting to read what was the end Think it's a "guy thing"

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