Writing a story in a chicken's eyes! UPDATE Pg. 75!

Yay! Can't wait to read it!

write more or i will

if you don't write i will

I'll write it this afternoon

Quote:
Why you hiding?

This is it. I thought right then and there that I was going to die. Flower had me pinned down to the point where my wings bled. The hay in the coop was turning bright red. I couldn't move, and I was feeling light-headed.

(Yes, everyone, I am writing again. I decided to re-write pretty much the entire book and edit it and make the chapters longer. I've found some free-time lately and I will be adding chapters more frequently now. Thank you so much and please continue to read! I will be posting revised chapters from now on and then I will start with the new chapters. The old chapters will still be pretty much the same, story-line wise, but I will be adding things and being more descriptive. Please stay tuned for revised chapter one!)

Quote:

CHAPTER ONE REVISION:

I open my eyes. I’m frantic. I’ll die if I can’t get out of this thing. Help.
I’ve positioned myself for escape. I’m about ready to break out. Finally, after long, tiring hours, I’ve mustered up enough strength to make a hole in this stupid thing that’s been keeping me in here for weeks!
I lean my head back and then I jerk it forward. The shell breaks and the intense light hurts my eyes. I don’t know how in the world I am going to be able to stand this! I am tired after my effort to break the thing and I decide to rest.
Again, when I open my eyes, I know I have to escape. I take some time to look around outside of my little hole. Where in the world am I? I think to myself. I realize that I am in a strange containment device. Its… white. And it’s not very big.
The hole that I have made only allows me a small glimpse of my surroundings. I start to panic again. To get myself to stop panicking, I try to kick myself. Then, I realize that my foot is on top of my head and I can’t seem to move it. Now what?
I don’t know what’s going on or where exactly I am. I think I can hear other chicks cheeping, so I cheep out with all my might. I can hear myself, but I have a sick feeling that nobody else can hear my futile calls. What will become of me if I can’t escape?
I decide that I’m going to have another try at breaking my prison. I peck away at it until I have made a bigger hole. Then, I drift off to sleep. Why must I tire out so quickly!
I am awoken by another loud cheep that startles me and I jolt upward. I see that another chick is laying on the floor of this containment chamber. “Are you ok?” I try to cheep out, but my voice fails me.
I need to get out of here, or I might end up dead, unlike the lucky little chick that got out of it’s shell and is now being removed from the containment chamber. Why does that chick get to leave this torture chamber?
“Take me with you!” I cheep. Above me, I can hear foreign languages being spoken. Someone gasps after they hear me cheep. Can they hear what I am saying?
Twisting my head, I break a big chunk off of my casing. I can finally see my surroundings better. There are many other wet chicks around me and more of the little round casings, which I learned are called eggs.
Now, why in the world am I still in here? Time for me to escape for good! Here I come world!
I jostle around and break the casing enough so that I can get out of it! I scoot onto the odd hard floor and, to show my victory, I try to stand up proud and tall. Big mistake.
Instead, my legs fail me and I tumble about in the chamber. It hurts. My legs feel like jelly and I can’t get enough strength to stand. I let out an angry cheep and look into the sky. I’m very frightened by what I see.
There are these scary creatures that are very big and tall. They are staring back at me and cooing at me. I feel very angry. They were staring at me during my struggle and didn’t even lift a wing to help me. I want out. And I want out now.
I gathered my strength and attempted to straighten my legs. After several attempts, I did a complete acrobatic act, and more, tumbling all over the eggs and onto the hard floor of the chamber. I rammed into the hard walls of the chamber and tumbled into some more eggs.
I had to rest after that effort and fell asleep for longer than I had expected.
I woke up on a soft, warm surface. It was fuzzy and comfortable and I liked it. There was a warm, orange light shining down on me and I felt welcomed. I don’t care where I am, I just never want to return to that chamber again.
I tried my legs again and stood up with minimal falling. I’m standing! I really am standing! This is a whole lot better than a few hours ago! I feel like I’m on top f the entire world.
I’m jumping and cheeping and romping around in the soft, warm area when I notice a strange grumble in my stomach. What could this be?
Another instinct kicked in. I need food! I stop playing and look around. I spot some other chicks that are yellow and fuzzy, eating brown crumbles from a red feeder. I zoom over there as fast as my newly found feet can carry me. I get a bunch of angered peeps and mean glares, but I push my way through, to the food.
I eat and eat until I can’t eat anymore. Then I feel very tired and I crash and fall asleep.
When I wake up, there are many other warm, fuzzy chicks surrounding me. Some are yellow, some are brown, and some are black with yellow bellies. They are all fluffy and breathing peacefully.
I decide to take a look at myself. I wobble over to the water container and look at my reflection. I cock my head several times, examining my fluffy little self. I am extra fluffy. Wow, am I fluffy!
I look further at my fluff. Instead of yellow or black, I am a foggy grayish color. And my feet! My feet have fluff on them, too! I am unlike all of my new friends. I’m… strange. That’s not a new word to me. Strange has been this entire day.
Everyone is staring at me when I go to rejoin the mass of yellow, black and brown. “Cochin! Cochin! Cochin!” they squeak.
What? Is that bad?” I respond, astonished.
“No, its good. You’re a show breed!” one of them chirped in awe.
“A show bird?” I wondered aloud. “Yeah. We’re just laying birds. You’re special,” one cheeped in disgust.
“Daisy, don’t be rude!” one of the yellow ones snapped.
“I’m not being rude, I’m just telling the truth, Primrose,” Daisy answered.
“No, really,” I said, “It’s fine. I’m not anything special.” Inside, I was thinking that I was the most amazing thing in the world! Me, a show bird! I had to keep myself from dancing in circles.
“Ok. Well, what’s your name?” Primrose asked. Primrose was a fluffy yellow chick, who was just a bit smaller than everyone else. She told me she was a White Leghorn.
“Me? Oh, I… I’m… I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head in shame. How did I not know my own name? What is wrong with me?
“Oh, silly! You choose you’re name!” Daisy laughed. Daisy was a black chick with white on her front. She was a fairly large chick larger than Primrose, but smaller than me. She said she was a Black Sexlink, which is a mix of two breeds.
“Oh, then, I’m Cloudy.” I settled on that name pretty quickly. I thought it was fitting. I looked like a big, angry storm cloud.
“That’s pretty! Hi, Cloudy!” Primrose smiled.
“Nice to meet you, Cloudy,” Daisy concluded.
“Let’s be friends. What do you say?” Primrose suggested.
“Yes. I think that would be nice,” I said, grinning from earlobe to earlobe.