I'm sorry people treated you the way they did, it's just not fair. They were filling in the gaps with information that they assumed and was far from the truth. I'm sure whatever dog you pick it will be awesome! To me, you sound like a very responsible owner and any dog will be lucky to find a...
Pick a breed you like and is inclined towards the behaviors you desire. Train it and love on it. You will be a bigger factor in the outcome of your dogs behavior then the breed. Puppies are a lot of work, plain and simple. If you have the time and desire to do it right, go for it. But remember...
I think Golden doodles are absolutely amazing dogs; I've never owned one myself but the ones I have met all have very even temperments, high energy, so so friendly, non agressive, quiet, no shed. The are medium size though.